My elder brother did something very bad. And I confessed to our parents what happened. Was I wrong to do so?

Question

My brother used to be very gentle, and he never hurt anything. But, when we moved out to the country, he started to become very violent. He used to hurt my sister and I, but our father forced him to stop that. So, he found an alternative to help vent his anger; our dogs.

I tried to speak to our parents about this, but our father simply wrote it off as him starting puberty. But, soon after he told me this, when our parents were out, my brother accidentally kicked a small dog too hard and killed it. He asked me to help him bury it and begged me to not say anything. I was angry, but my brother was and is very dear to me, so I agreed.

But, I could not stand the pressure. My sister was distraught, and every night I would hear her calling out the dog’s name, and she would always ask me if I had seen it. It was unbearable. So I finally admitted to my mother what had happened.

Now, my brother is furious with me. He feels terrible because my sister is just… broken. She is very sensitive, and this just destroyed her. My brother says that it would have been better to simply keep quiet about it. That it would have saved our sister the grief. He says he will never trust a secret with me again, because I am a ‘snitch’ and that I will only turn around and backstab him the first chance I get.

And the worst part of it all is that I think our father agrees with him. Because it probably ‘would’ have been easier for our sister to handle if she had never found out.

My mother tried to console me when I told of this, but… isn’t that what mothers are supposed to do?

But, there is one good point to all this. My brother vowed to never hurt an animal again. But, still…

I feel terrible about this. Was I wrong to confess?

Answer 1

You were no where near wrong to confess this. If you were to have not told of this, chances are he would start to think that he can get away with things like this and go on to other animals, and possibly back to you and your sister, if not other people. He needs to go to therapy or something to relieve this anger. Tell your parents to get him a punching bag or something similar for him to relieve himself. Alot of people ven their anger out through excerscing/weights. He has an anger problem that needs to get worked on before he gets himself -and others- into real big trouble that could involve the police. You definitly did the right thing by telling your parents; the only thing left is to get help for him. As for your sister, girls are like that. How old is she? If she's under 10, then make up a story saying that if the dog lived, then something worse would have happened to the dog, or something like that; she'll get over it. You have no reason to feel bad about this.

Answer 2

Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry you're going through this!

No, you weren't wrong to tell your Mom about this. Here's the thing, and you might want to share this with you Mom - your brother needs to get help. He has problems with anger and violence, and he needs to get help before his problems become problems that he, and you family, can't handle (what if he had done this to someone else's dog, who called the police, and had him arrested?). For his own good, and that of other people (and animals), your parents should take him to the doctor and explain what's going on.

He has a pattern of violence, and that is not okay. He's hurt you, and your sister, and animals.

Understand that when someone has a problem, he doesn't want people to know about it, so he doesn't usually thank the person who points it out. This is normal. He has a big problem he'd rather not face, so he's mad at you for not pretending that he's okay. That doesn't make it wrong that you said something, or that you wouldn't pretend what he did was okay.

Answer 3

You were stuck. I do have a brother, but no sister, so our situations would be different because I wouldn't had somebody else there asking about the dog. I do think you did the right thing because there is something wrong with him and because he came to you, obviously he wants you to help him. So because you told you mother maybe she can get the help he needs. Just be there for him and tell him why you told her. Let him know you will always be there. He needs you now.

Answer 4

sometimes when your young people do stupid things. I once harmed an animal [not killed it] and i never forgot it. It's actually a good thing that he fells guilty cause if he didn't that to me would be awkward. Anyway with that said i don't think it was wrong to tell really, it was what u felt was right at the time and don't worry he'll grow out of it and if he doesn't that's when he needs help.

Answer 5

out of all this YOU are NOT the one who should feel terrible. you didnt do anythign wrong. there goes yoru brother passing the buck. he killed the family dog in one of his many MANY violent outburst, and now its all YOUR fault the sister is upset. how about taking repsonsiblity that its HIS fault HES the one that kiled the DOG??? I feel really bad for you that this is the family you ahve to live in. no its NOT YOUR FAULT U DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG!!!!!!!! grrrr ur family makes me so mad. anyway u shouldnt worry and feel guilty if u are upset let it be becuase of the way they are treaitng you becuase it is just not right.

Answer 6

No you were not wrong, Your Brother was wrong 1st killing your sisters dog 2nd involving you, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG IN FACT YOU DID THE RITE THING. AND DON'T DOUBT THAT. And your brother will get over it and trust me your dad does not blame you, He is disappointed in your brother.

Answer 7

From what you said it wasn't you that told your sister. I don't know if there is a right or wrong answer I think you done what you thought was right at the time.

Answer 8

If my I had a brother who did that, I would beat the crap out of him. I think you did the right thing.