Who is in charge of the rehersal? I always thought our Pastor was going to be the leader of it but he told me today that he doesn't think he really needs to be there. I quickly got off the phone with him because my mixture of surprise, confusion, and PMS was causing me to burst into tears/laughter...it wasn't pretty. He probably could have told me this months ago instead of today (literally 11 days before the rehersal). This is my first marriage so I would appreciate it if he was there telling me how he does things. Am I wrong? Whenever I've been to a rehersal before the guy/gal doing the marrying always ran the show...maybe the bride/groom requested that?! I'm not sure! Please help!
PS-The MOB dress thing worked out just fine...I ordered another dress, it arrived, I told my mom a mild form of the truth, she tried it on and loved it! Yay!
2007-03-26 16:15:27 · 9 answers · asked by Lauren G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Haha, I'm pretty organized and strict with my budget...meaning I'm my own wedding planner.
Oh yeah, we also are not able to have the rehersal at the actual church because of Good Friday services.
This Pastor has not done a wedding at the church yet because he is new (another reason I believe he should be there) and the church's wedding person is a 90 year old lady who is attending their Good Friday service.
Upon reflection, I was crazy to think a wedding the day before Easter could work and don't think I would recommend that day to anyone. :)
SO...if I call the Pastor and tell him I would really like him to run things, shouldn't he know what to do? What if he doesn't? Has anyone ever changed Pastors in under 2 weeks before the ceremony?
2007-03-26 16:37:36 · update #1
He thinks he can just waltz in & be done with it???? Unless this is an informal gathering where there is a small or no bridal party a rehearsal is ESSENTIAL
If you can't do it, have your fiance call your pastor & tell him you'd appreciate his presence at the rehearsal. I'm sure this man has performed many ceremonies and it's 'old hat' to him; but it isn't to you or the people in your wedding. Of course you want it to run smoothly. He needs to be there.
You could mention this is what he's being paid for but all of this is going to cause some hard feelings.
Also you could find another officiant or conduct the rehearsal yourself, which is not a good idea.
He should be there to also choose someone to oversee the processional and make sure your dress, etc are in order as you process.
I hope you don't need this but just in case.
To find an officiant type into Yahoo your city, state & wedding officiant (no 's' on the end) You will have a few to choose from, usually on the 2nd page. The larger bridal sites seem to get top billing. If you do go to the bridal sites, please visit the site of someone you think you might like. Those bridal sites make vendors & officiants pay for your contact info so you may not hear back from someone you'd hoped.
Good luck to you, sweetie. This isn't something you should be having to deal with so close to the wedding.
2007-03-26 16:34:09 · answer #1 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
First if the pastor has done weddings before but no in that church then he should be there but he has not done weddings take the times with him to go over how you wish the flow to be - your vows or the book vows etc as you are have the wedding close to Easter I would and it is done all the time have the rehearsal on Thursday night - not only is it quieter but if some people can not show like the bridal party well I am sure that they will fall into step once they have and idea of how it is going to happens.
Remember if is still your wedding and some pastors tend to really run it so talk with him get the layout in your mind and mention it to him and then go from there.
Good Luck and Best Wishes
2007-03-27 10:42:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We didnt have either officiant there, our wedding planner ran it with the lady from the church. Usually the church has a person who oversees the wedding on behalf of the church and they know how the pastor is used to things/the ceremony. If you dont have that call the pastor back and express your concerns and ask his advice. If he knows you have no clue he'll probably be more than willing to come help you. if he does throw in some extra $$$ in his "gift" for doing the ceremony and make sure everyone is there on time. OR find a copy of processional, ceremony, and recessional and designate an organized, loud relative that you trust to run it for you.
Good Luck!
2007-03-26 23:25:36 · answer #3 · answered by GAjen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah the wedding officiant SHOULD be there. It's really odd that he doesn't think it neccessary. He should at least provide someone from the church to run you through the procedure. How the heck are you going to know what to do otherwise? I'd call him back and ask, or maybe call a secretary at your church, if there is one, and see what they suggest. That is SO odd.
The only rehersal i've been to was my sister's and the priest was there. In fact, i'm getting married at the same place and i have to book the rehersal with the priest so that he will be sure to be available.
2007-03-26 23:25:58 · answer #4 · answered by katskradle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, your pastor doesn't think he needs to be there???? That's USUALLY who runs it, because whoever officiates the ceremony uses the rehearsal to explain how it will all go, what you do when. If the church has a "wedding lady," (someone who just handles the weddings) then he might not be there, because SHE knows all the ins and outs of the ceremony. I'd call the pastor back, and ask him why he feels he doesn't need to be there, and that you'd LIKE him there. After all, that's his JOB...
2007-03-26 23:21:48 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well let me tell ya my sister had a her priest do hers an when it was time for the wedding the entire thing changed 5 diffrent times the man that sang at the church an the lady that played the piano helped us an to make my sister laugh at her own wedding an make him look like a fool i was doing the first reading an i just sat in my seat an he was giving me the eye an i keep wandering looking an then stated oh is it my time to read sir ....oh my bad i did not think we were going to do that in this run threw.... the entire wedding party that had to deal with this priest thought it was so funny...
2007-03-26 23:42:25 · answer #6 · answered by rodeogirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just arrange for him to BE there for the rehearsal, even if it is on another day than you planned.
2007-03-27 09:26:29 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the wedding planner
2007-03-26 23:27:21 · answer #8 · answered by mz.koffee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Request that he be there and offer to pay for his time it is the custom as you thought
2007-03-26 23:29:13 · answer #9 · answered by Nora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋