what to do with a 4 1/2 yr old boy that still wets to bed? we stopped liquids after certain time,?

Question

tryed taking the pull ups off of him.. lot of times he will wake up early an not get up an go potty an then he will wet.. some times he does #2 in his pull up. even tryed nothing on below the waist.. we give him money when he is dry, his mommy (ex daughter in law) she let him move in with his dad back in july, then in jan she moved 1800 miles away, but on his weekends before july with his dad he never wanted to go home. any suggestions..

Answer 1

Life sounds like it's a little tough for this little guy! I would stay as patient as humanly possible, and allow him to at least be in control of this one aspect of his life (recognizing that he has no control over the other aspects). Rather than push him toward giving up the pull-ups, I allow him to continue to wear them as long as he feels he wants to. I wouldn't mention it at all. I would wait for *him* to bring it up, and then support him in staying dry, etc.

If he'd rather not wear the pull-ups, then I would get a waterproof mattress pad (actually, I'd get two or three of them, and I'd get them anyway), and I'd continue to support him. (Having those mattress pads will help you keep your cool if and when he does wet the bed; it won't be so hard to deal with if all you have to do is launder the pad rather than deal with a urine-soaked mattress!!)

By the way, I wouldn't give him money or gifts for staying dry. In our family, staying dry was a reward in itself; we never bribed our son with candy or money. We *did* let him pick out the underwear he'd eventually wear, but we never pressured him to wear it. One day, *he* decided he was done with diapers, and that was that. Of course, he would have the occasional accident later on. I always kept a waterproof mattress on the bed and I never, ever made a big deal about accidents.

Whenever I would start to feel concerned, I would remind myself that all healthy children eventually gain full daytime and nighttime control of their bowel and bladder in their own time and are able to stop using diapers. No kid goes to college wearing diapers (unless, of course, there is some physical issue that makes controlling one's bladder or bowel impossible).

My son stopped using diapers at about 4 years of age (give or take a few months on either side). It was peaceful and we never shamed him. Just like cutting teeth, learning to walk, and all the other milestones, all kids do it in *their* own time, when *they* are ready.

It sounds to me like this little fellow may have other emotional issues surrounding his relationships with his parents, and I think mastering the use of the toilet is probably the least of his concerns right about now.

Sending you and him my very best wishes!!

Answer 2

BED-WETTING



Is bed-wetting normal?
Wetting the bed (nocturnal enuresis) is usually a small problem which, if handled badly, can become a big one.

It is worth remembering that all new-born babies 'wet the bed' and almost no teenagers do.

Just as learning to walk and talk are normal stages of development, so too is learning to recognise, while sleeping, that you have a full bladder and need to wake up and go to the toilet. Just when that happens will vary from child to child. By the age of 3 about 50 per cent of children are dry at night, but it is generally felt that no action is needed over bed-wetting before the age of 6.

What causes bed-wetting?
The reason some children take longer than others to become dry at night is probably due to them being deep sleepers who are not awakened by the message from their bladder telling them that it is full. There is often a family history of being 'late-developers' in this area.

Medical advice to exclude rare cases where a physical problem such as infection, diabetic complications, or a mechanical problem with the bladder is the cause, should be sought in the following cases.

Where bed-wetting starts after a relatively long period of dryness.
Day-time wetting past the age of 3 or 4.
Bed-wetting after the age of 6 or 7.

Many people think that emotional causes are responsible for bed-wetting, but this is not often the case, except for short episodes that might coincide with the arrival of a new baby, a move to a new house or other events that might cause some temporary feelings of insecurity in a child.

How does bed-wetting affect children?
In the older child, some help may be needed as bed-wetting can inhibit some normal social development such as going to stay overnight with friends or having friends to stay.

Treating the problem
Many different methods have been tried to treat bed-wetting (or, to be accurate, speed up the normal development). One successful therapy is the bed-wetting alarm system, which wakes the child when urine is first passed. It is useful for some children. Tablets will help some children, but must be used with caution: talk to your doctor.

It is important not to get cross with children who wet their bed. They don't do it on purpose and are as keen to grow out of it as their parents are to see them stop.

Answer 3

My 4 year old still wets the bed sometimes. I decreased his liquids after 6 pm and I wake him up every 4 hours to go pee. I've been doing this for a while and now he usally wakes up one a night and goes on his own. But I still wake him up 4 hours after that. He's dry in the morning which makes me happy and him happy because that means he's a "big boy." Good luck.

Answer 4

I wet the bed until I was 15 years old due to being a deep sleeper, the doctor said the reason it went away was because my horomones changed which changed my sleep patterns. Bed wetting is hereditary so all I can suggest is keeping him in pull ups over night and if you think there is a bigger problem I would suggest talking to your pediatrician. Maybe the mom didnt let the boy get up til she did so he just got used to wetting himself. I'm no psychologist I am only speaking from experiences I have had in life. I hope this helps.

Answer 5

Hi! Don't forget to rule out food allergies. I would take him to a naturopath or a doctor that specializes in allergies. My husband wet the bed until he was 8 or 9 and it turned out that he was mildly allergic to peanuts. He loved peanut butter and ate it all the time (no other obvious signs that he was allergic or anything). After he quit eating peanut butter, he quit bedwetting for good. Just wanted to share because I would never have thought of this if I hadn't heard his story.
Good luck!

Answer 6

kids sometimes don't have the bladders grow fast enough. My daughter is seven and still wears them She doesnt' want to. She deosnt' wake up and can't hold it. YOu can get a pill from the doctor, but we just go natural... her bladder will catch up. My one cousin wore pullups till seven, his siblings didn't. I also have a friend who's boy wore them till four and his siblings were out of them by 2. It is an individual thing.

Answer 7

Did he have this problem before?? If he did it might be something medical which means consulting his doctor. If he didn't it means it got to do with some abandonment issues which still should be consulted with a doctor. He/she might have some suggestion on how to handle the situation.

Answer 8

the kid seems to be having some issues with his resposibility for his own urination and bowel movements. he's still being babied...likely the reason why he is still doing it. stop giving him liquids earlier and food too. he needs to learn that he is a big boy now and if he wets the bed, make him clean it up and do the laundry for it...make him deal with the problem and maybe he won't be so lazy about it. i know he's just a kid, but it'll be a huge issue when he gets into school and starts having sleepovers with his friends. deal with it now

Answer 9

my sister had this problem and she said she would set her alarm at certain times and wake him up to use the bathroom and when he went he would get rewards and so he started getting up by his self