I have a friend who doesn't seem like a true friend?

Question

Well first of all she only calls me when she needs something and then it seems everytime I call her she has some sort of drama going on in her life and she drags me into it and it's driving me crazy. Two years ago I told her I didn't want to be friends with her anymore over her answering machine, but now we're in high school and were mature now about these situations or at least I am. When she got the voice mail she called me back and asked me why I didn't want to be friends with her anymore I told her the truth that she only calls me when she wants something and that she just has too much drama she drags me into, but there was also another part she hooked me up with this guy who she said she went out with, but then after the guy and I started going out she said she "forgot" to tell me he was a low life and perverted, but I didn't listen I just kept dating him so when I told her that I didn't want to be friends anymore she thought it was all over a guy. :Help!!!

Answer 1

I knew someone like that. Ever since we knew each other (kindergarden), she would only come around when she needed someone to talk to or rely on, but when I needed something, she would ignore me. You may be her friend, but she isn't yours; if that makes sense. She's a player; she's dependent of others. She basically wants/ needs you to talk about whatever is going on in her life. Personally, I take it as a compliment to know that someone looks up to me like that. You're like a mentor/big sister type. She's immature and has alot more to learn than you do.

Answer 2

A "true" friend will not hurt you, will not lie to you and will be there for you when you need them. Do you think this is a true friend? Also, you should never go where your friends have gone meaning you dont date anyone they did, it just shouldnt be done. If you are putting more into this relationship than you are getting out of it, you are only hurting yourself. You do not need to tell this person you dont want to be friends, but your actions can do just that. When she calls to tell you her new "drama" tell her you simply have to much going on with your own life to stress out over hers say it firmly but state it simply. Look for new friends find some new interests and move on. As you grow up you will have many friends, some will stay forever and some will be friends from when you were five. You can outgrow people and it seems thats what is happening here.

Answer 3

all and sundry is human, and relationships with them variety in diploma from well mannered acquaintance to stable chum. i don't think of the question is how does one triumph over the frailties of others, yet how stable of a chum are you? are you able to ignore the buddy who's continuously out for himself? are you able to cherish the buddy who purely calls whilst they want to borrow some thing? what's your definition of friendship? in case you want somebody that's strictly such as you, or concurs with each and every thing you're saying, then look no extra than the mirror. In John 15: 13-17 Jesus explains what a 'actual buddy' could do. He does not ask us to 'emulate' Him, yet to maintain on with His lead. in case you're actually not finding the convenience you seek for in the chums which you have, then via all skill, shop finding for the friendship you want. additionally settle for the 'friendship' of the only that died for you, and you will not sense which you're so on my own. God Bless you. would you come across what you're searching for. :)

Answer 4

I too had a friend like that in high school...let me tell you they don't change...
I was always there for here, she was rarely there for me and when it came down to it we went our seperate ways. It took me a little longer to figure things out though...wish I would have caught on in high school. Anyway, we went to college together, and started raising our kids together, then we parted over her boyfriend making a move on me and me telling her that he tried, I told him off and that I was going to tell her. Well we stopped talking and they stayed going out for 6 months and he cheated on her and they broke up. She still sends me christmas cards and pictures of her and her daughter every year and I still show them to my kids, but that's about it. True friends don't use people and they should trust each other...we didn't have that so what was the point of trying to make things work. I guess she may realize that now, but for me it's too late. We are in our 30's now and I have real friends that mean so much more.

Answer 5

i think you should call your friend and just get together at some cheesy restaurant and tell her how you truly feel about ehr and why and how you think he attitude or behaviour is. this has happend to me when my friends thought i back talked about them my friend did call me and ask me what had exatcly happend after a few days we had found out the truth that a girl had lied to my friends accusing me of bitching at dem. MY POINT IS noone can resolve your conflict for you by the way im looking at your situation seems like your friend probably needs a little attitude change and you shoud tell her exaclty how you feel about it after all you are her friends and friends say everything to each other straight up!

Answer 6

Tell her that it is not just over a guy, it is over your respect. Just tell her like it is; you don't want to be treated like nothing, and if she can't respect that, there's no way you are going to put up with her anymore. You should definantly tell her what has been bothering you so she could understand really why you don't want to be associated with her anymore. If she comes up with a heart-felt apology, then you could forgive her. But don't let some mumbled sorry win you over. You need to let her know you don't want to be pushed around anymore! However there's no need to get all pumped up and angry about it, because she's not worth it. If she can't undersand after your first try, there's no use in trying again. It seems to me like you have given her plenty of chances. Just tell it to her face and don't say it like you don't mean it! lol I feel like Dr. Phil or something...anyways I hope diz helps and good luck =]

btw~ yeah unfortunately, there's a TON of ppl like that...i was in your situtation once.. ugh it wuzz brutal...anyways good luck =]

Answer 7

Call her a for few days doing what she did. Ask her for something or call and only talk about yourself, then say you have to go. When she calls you on this behavior tell her that's how she acts and you like it as much as she liked how you were acting. Tell her friendship is 50/50 and she was lacking on her side, give her one more chance and if she takes it make sure you put your foot down. As for the guy if you like him tell her and tell her that anything she says about him affects you and if she wants to repair this friendship not to criticize him.

Answer 8

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people like this. If you like to hang out with her sometimes, then just keep her as an acquaintance that you only see in group settings. If you don't want to deal with her at all, I'd call an end to it.

Answer 9

just be polite. don't forget that friends are there to entertain you and cheer you up. not to be trouble...if she's no good--keep it to yourself and don't forget it...the drama starts when people treat people crappy and embarrass other people. make yourself unavailable when you don't want to hang out with her and if you enjoy her around others than only hang out then. she's got feelings but you don't have to feel tortured either.
stay away from gross boys too.
if you like making out with boys then do it but don't get your heart set into a boy that still needs to grow up. make friends!!! have fun!!!

Answer 10

You should talk it out with your friend. Tell her exactly what you think, and let her respond. If it's for the better you will go seperate ways, and you'll know by her response to what you say. Okay?