my dad hardly helped my mom buy food and clothes for us. he had the money just hid it. hes into drugs never calls. should i try a relationship with him? i wonder what is going to happen when he needs assistance as he gets older. if he lives that long. my brain says let him rot. my heart wants to do otherwise. i am 27 now, married ( nope he wasnt there..he was invited) not sure what to do.
2007-03-26 15:35:06 · 12 answers · asked by Ryan M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I can say this -- do whatever makes you feel comfortable, but ...
ALWAYS keep in mind the SAFETY needs of you, your spouse, and your children/other family members.
Remember .. if he is into using Illegal Substances, and has been for a very long time, then he is NOT stable enough to even be around, much less trust that something that he has done won't HURT or HARM or KILL you in the future (or heaven forbid, if you are with him at the time this horror happens).
2007-03-26 15:41:40 · answer #1 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad is also not the greatest, he wasn't there when I was younger, but I do think you should allow him in your life. You may not want to develop a close relationship, but don't let his mistakes make you into a bitter person. My father is an alcoholic and is in and out of my life still, (I'm 26) I learned to accept that he's probably never gonna change. We are not very close, but he knows that I love him and I know that he has a problem that I cannot help. It is not you job to take care of him, just call him every once in a while to let him know you're thinking of him. God luck.
2007-03-26 22:43:57 · answer #2 · answered by CHICK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by writing him a heartfelt letter explaining what you are explaining here. Tell him that - you want to meet but you are not sure how to approach him and why he has been standoffish lately. Tell him you don't want money and feel no bitterness about the past and just would like to get to know him and move forward with some kind of relationship. Once that's out there and he knows it, the ball is in his court. Maybe he thinks you're angry and want to tell him off or something, or maybe feels guilt himself.
2007-03-26 22:39:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard decision. I can understand you wanting a relationship with your dad but, if he is into drugs and if you have or plan to have children, do you want them exposed to this? If he could not be responsible then, can he now.? You may just want to contact him and see if you can get a feeling about this. It is not only you now, you have a husband and a life and i will be darned if i would let him trash that,
Good luck
2007-03-26 22:41:42 · answer #4 · answered by shyone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats really really tough. I think that if you want to try and start a relationship with him you should. If he died tomorrow, you might regret not trying. However, if you do try to start a relationship, just be prepared to be disappointed, or even hurt, and don't feel obliged to give him any money or anything. Maybe meet him the first few times by yourself, or with just your wife. If you have children, I wouldn't suggest bringing them along until you know that the relationship is headed somewhere.
2007-03-26 22:39:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOu can do any thing you like. You are now 27. Ou can go visit him if you like but my son s father took off adn he is a dead beat father too. In front of the law he had no right over you but since you are a big girl now you can make your own decision but if he does not want to see any one of you, that would be his dicision and you can neve rforce a dead beat father to do some thing now for you!Take care
2007-03-26 22:43:40 · answer #6 · answered by D. M. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guard your heart. If you really want a relationship with him, go ahead. Just be careful not to expect much from a guy like him.
2007-03-26 22:40:25 · answer #7 · answered by robertspraguejr 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he's never wanted you, why do you still need his approval ?
(and thats what you're looking for...Daddy's approval and love..) you won't get either at this late date...let him rot...
taking care of an aged parent who couldn't be bothered with you will not win you brownie points or a gold star....just live your own life and don't worry about things you cannot change...
2007-03-26 22:40:16 · answer #8 · answered by Chrys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WhY you want to have a relationship with a ghost i think you would have a better relationship with the dog at least the dog would be loyal to his daughter
2007-03-26 22:38:35 · answer #9 · answered by aggadan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no matter what sort of dad he was he was still ya dad and if your hearts says something then go with it..you'll be a better dad for it too..good luck..and remember everything happens for a reason.
2007-03-26 22:39:29 · answer #10 · answered by ufo tofu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋