help with an anger problem?

Question

my son is 8 years old. he has had problems with anger ever since he was 6. the doctors have put him on meds for ADHD. he has bad fits of anger where he grits his teeth, his face turns red and he screams, he bangs his head, punches and kicks, says hateful things to eveyone that i know he does not mean, and sometimes we have to hold him down to keep him from hurting himself.when i do get him calmed down he does not always remember what happened. when he does remember he gets really remorseful and cries. he has never experienced any trama, so it is not anything like that. his dad also has an anger issue that the docs says is a ADD related issue. we live in a small town (not many doctors) i really think that it is something else and they are treating him for the wrong thing. any suggestions?? thanx!

Answer 1

Wow! I am sorry you are all going through this! Behavior disorders are often treatable with therapy, both cognitive and pharmaceutical. I would suggest you take him to a child psychologist who specializes in behavior disorders. This does not sound like ADD or ADHD to me. ADD is not an anger issue, it is an attention issue. Anger can be secondary, because of frustration. Normally because of being disciplined, so please go get a 2nd opinion. Medication is only as helpful as the correct diagnosis!

Answer 2

Is there an allergist in town?
Your whole family would do well
to go on an allergy elimination diet,
thus a shared (rather than a finger-pointing)
experience.

Second, is there a neurologist in town?
The primary symptom of not
remembering afterwards bears
further, physical, testing.

And third, but not less important:
Are you informed about the side-affects
and adverse reactions for your
son's medication. Enough so you
can tell your doctor if those symptoms
are present?

Last, keep a good journal entry on each
occurrence: How, when, where, along
with possible whys. Note the time
he actually has his medication,
any over-the-counter products,
and any unusual foods, high-
sugar-content foods, and drinks.

Oops, one more...
Learn to say "yes" instead of "no"
to both your husband and your son,
such that your deliberate statements
are very obvious to them. As an example,
"May I have a cookie?" "Yes, you may
have a carrot." "I want a cookie!"
"Yes, I want one, too, but I know a carrot
is better for my body so close to dinner."

You didn't mention school. Is this a child
you are home-schooling? Does he get to
play with others his age everyday?

When you and his father quietly leave the
room, does the behavior continue?

If it does and does not seem to subside
within a reasonable time, then start back
at the top of this answer. Your request is
for "something else," and a good plan
would definitely help.

Answer 3

I agree with the second opinion suggestion. I would also eliminate all food colorings, particularly red, and as much preservatives and added flavorings as possible from his diet, and minimise sugar consumption too. 2 fish oil supplements daily can't hurt, and may help, and if it does turn out to be ADD / ADHD, a daily zinc supplement helps some people. See if you can teach him to count backwards from 10 to 1, whenever he thinks he might become angry: tell him it is much easier and better than crying later on. Taper off or alter medication only with professional advice. If all else fails, you could try a restricted, semi- vegetarian diet of (preferably organic) boiled rice, beans and peas, a serve of green and a serve of yellow/orange vegetable, rice crackers with mashed sardines & vinegar/lemon juice, rice noodles and fruit, including at least one grapefruit or orange daily, and an avocado (if possible, for oil & minerals/vitamins). A daily calcium supplement would be advisable, but this can be eliminated after 2 weeks, if he handles well the reintroduction of dairy products, first, then breads, pasta, cereals, for 2 weeks, then peanut butter & nuts; finally other things, like chocolate, etc., to see if it can pinpoint a diet related cause. He will complain bitterly, but you can tell him that it is extremely important to try to find the cause of his problem, or at least things which might help or worsen it, otherwise he is going to have an unhappy life (consider what it would be like if he got big and strong as he now is!).

Answer 4

Was he actually screened for ADHD? Sometimes, the doctors put kids on meds without figuring out what is really wrong. You might consider having him checked for things like hypoglycemia (I have it and there are mood swings involved if I don't eat at regular intervals), autism, and psychological problems. Also, he might be watching his father's example. After all, children imitate their parents. It doesn't matter what causes it; his father has to find a solution to his anger problem, pronto. Take a good hard look at how you handle stressful situations as well. Kids are really mirrors of the adults around them.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Sorry to hear that but I personally think having a 6 year old on medication is criminal, your doctor is a quack and you need to get him off the meds or he's going to be a basket case in and out of therapy his whole life. People get angry, find the source and deal with it, kids are kids and giving in to there whims is spoiling the kid, this society has gone to far with this psycho babble BS and it hasn't cured any of them, it's only created a bigger problem. But the drug companies love it because they make more money off you wanting to do right for your family.

Answer 6

doctors are so quick to say a kid that acts out has ADD or ADHD. He could have it but i don't think this is the main cause of his actions. You should really get a second opinion from another doctor.

Answer 7

My 20 yr old son has had anger issues since he was about 8 yrs old. He has always thought very highly of himself. One minute he's very loving and the next minute he's very mean and angry. For us I have wondered if he is bipolar. My dad--his grandad was like that. If you simply walked thru a room when Dad was doing something stressful--like bills, Dad would jump up out of his chair and beat us up. He also beat up Mom. My Dad's Dad was the same way. -- very abusive.

Answer 8

could be oppositional defiant disorder, or one of several other disorders. It does not sound like ADD or ADHD to me. You can only best serve this child by taking him into the city to an expert.

Answer 9

actually, if you get him a dog that could work. hed find a friend and anger isnt gonna happen as much cause hes already occupied with something else. either that, or start him with karate. its something he can channel his anger to. other than that, if none of those work, try to get him perscribed for some calming durgs

Answer 10

take him off his meds NOW and go to a Really good docter/counsler for kids it could be early-onset bipolar with ODD instead of ADHD.