friend just came back from a family funeral and said that there were many children present(The person that died was elderly)..She said that even thought it was a family member that died, the kids should not have been exposed to something like that...She said the casket was closed.
2007-03-26 15:08:28 · 23 answers · asked by Mommy Dearest 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I agree. It good to expose children *of middle school age and older* to life and death, but i went to my grandmothers funeral *open casket* when i was way younger and i still have dreams about it.
*shudder*
2007-03-26 15:15:04 · answer #1 · answered by april s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children need to grieve just as much as adults. The age of the child if a big factor when answering this. A 12 year old is able to understand what death is and get closure from being a part of the grieving process,especially if they were close to the deceased. A child under the age of eight or nine may not understand and could be traumatized more by attending, especially an open casket.
2007-03-26 22:24:57 · answer #2 · answered by Andrea G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1....at middle school age, kids are old enough to understand death. They are old enough to make that decision. If its not a family member, then i would see no sense in going. if it was a family member than, by all means! This is an important part of closure for people. Some people no matter the age will never attend a funeral because of personal reasons. My boyfriend has never been to a funeral and he is 24. My best friends son was 9 when his papa died and he made the decision to go. He is old enough to discuss the facts of life and death. He made the choice and he was glad he did go!
hope this helps
2007-03-26 22:29:54 · answer #3 · answered by davisk80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many things will influence children in their life. Death is one of those things. Adults can make a funeral a positive experience for children, many funeral directors have ideas on how to do this. For younger children, there may be crayons or movies for the children to keep occupied.
There is nothing wrong with taking a child to a funeral as long as it is talked about and answered without using eufamisms, like he/she is just sleeping or they went on a trip because children may get this idea confused and relate it to parents going away for the weekend, or the child may not want to sleep at night.
Keep in mind the age of the child, many young children won't really remember much and if it's positive experience then it will help them later in life.
Kids are very resilient and as I stated earlier there is nothing wrong with having a child at the funeral, especially because there is so much that a child can add to the experience for those grieving... ask the child to draw a picture to place with the casket.... it's never easy however.
2007-03-26 22:25:42 · answer #4 · answered by turdan1976 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was actually at a funeral today... I think if the kids are close then they should go... If they dont get exposed to it( i know it sounds bad) then they are like my husband who is 22 and went to his first one 2 years ago. He dont wanna think about death... because he has never had to deal with it... I would bring a 12 year old because they need to get there emotions out.. but it also depends on the kid... A 12 year old is at an age where you can talk to them and tell them that they are better off not being in pain and they understand it... I have been to several funerals... at least 3 year since I can remember... and if I didnt go I would not be able to start the healing process..
Not trying to make you worry and nothing like that... but in high school people tend to get in car accidents that sometimes kill kids... Wouldnt you rather them be able to deal with it... I went through all of this... Life and death is very HARD!!!
2007-03-26 22:15:21 · answer #5 · answered by Megan Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my mother passed away all her grandchildren attended. The youngest at the time was 11. Yes it was hard for the younger ones but they got to say good-by.
Death is part of life. It's going to happen to all of us. If Children are raised with faith and religious back grounds they well realize that even though the body might still be here the soul is somewhere else.
However my daughter is my mothers funeral wasn't the first time my daughter heard about death.
One of her class mates died from a brain tumor when she was in 1 grade. Her uncle passed away from an accident when he was seven. Up till my mother's passing she only has explains and reason. AT my mothers passing she she was introduced to the ceremony that accompanies death.
2007-03-26 22:17:13 · answer #6 · answered by wondermom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on a whole lot of things. Were your children close to the deceased person? How do your children deal with other people being sad, perhaps crying? Can your children sit still long enough for the service?
My children are four and six. We have taken them to funerals, wakes, unveilings and shiva calls. It is a part of life and I feel as does my husband that they need to be aware of it and not taught to fear it. Before going to any such event, we have talked to them about it and let them ask any questions they might have so that they are not nervous or scared.
2007-03-26 22:16:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on how old the person that died is and how mature the children are. If they will just mess around or think of it as a joke, don't take them. Or if it was a sibling or parent, i don't think that would be a very good for them....they might not be able to handle it.
2007-03-26 22:15:21 · answer #8 · answered by Dani B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A funeral is no place for kids. Kids get bored easily. Grieving adults don't need or want the distraction of children not to mention they don't have the patience.
Your friend is right. They are too young to be exposed to that.
2007-03-26 23:29:40 · answer #9 · answered by NyteWing 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends on the kid in my opinion. Is it someone they are close to? Are they emotionally ready to handle a funeral? Do they WANT to go? I went to my grandpa's funeral when I was 13 and I'm glad I did. My dad was very supportive in a way I had never really seen him be.
2007-03-26 22:20:50 · answer #10 · answered by rainbow_writer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋