i know i have liked you
i may have even loved you too
clearly it was obviously balck and white
this was not ever going to be right
you and me
were just never meant to be
im not going to be waiting forever
for us to be together
2007-03-26 15:07:31 · 12 answers · asked by Nemo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I love your poem. One tip I have is:
-- the clearly and obviously in line 3; its alittle repetitive/redundant, maybe take one of them out
2007-03-26 15:12:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad. Here's a one I wrote on a similar topic:
I wake up in the morning
And see you in my sight
Yet you're no longer with me
You left me in the night
The reason I don't go away is so that you'd return one day
The only reason why I stay is so that I could hear you say
"I love you and I'll never leave
I promise that you'll never grieve
You cried for me for far too long
And proved to me your love is strong
Our hearts forever share a beat
With you love, I feel complete"
I fall asleep yet once again
Goodnight my love, I'll see you then
2007-03-26 22:18:23 · answer #2 · answered by flare_ztx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it might sound better like this.....
i know i have liked you
i may have even loved you too.
its seeming to me it was black and white
this was obviously never going to be right
you and me
we're just not meant to be
im not going to be able to wait forever
for us to have a chance to be together
i think that sounds better than what you had but it kinds voids itself out. im talking bout the the this was not ever going to be right. because than you say your basically still waiting. its ok though. is it for someone you like??? i might be able to help you out i like to write poetry.
2007-03-26 22:16:03 · answer #3 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This poem sounds like a guy wrote it.
He loves a girl who doesn't share his ardor.
He's trying to say "good bye", but doesn't want to.
He sees the futility, but he doesn't want to give up hope.
This poem was written by a heart full of tears.
It's striking--bold--final.
2007-03-26 22:20:13 · answer #4 · answered by SlownEasy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a love lost poem...good tho
2007-03-26 22:10:34 · answer #5 · answered by LUCKYGIRL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad for a first try
2007-03-26 22:13:51 · answer #6 · answered by JOhNe=mc² 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really like this, simple and to the point
2007-03-26 22:13:13 · answer #7 · answered by jamie kat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oooo i really like this one!!! u should maybe write a book of poems or sumtin!
2007-03-26 22:14:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
loveliness fo sho.
2007-03-26 22:09:50 · answer #9 · answered by JayJay <3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's beautiful
2007-03-26 22:10:46 · answer #10 · answered by TBONE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋