I have what I believe to be serious problems. But my mother will not do anything. Is she being unreasonable?

Question

I am only thirteen, and about a year ago I had this ‘episode’. I live in the country and I ran out in the pasture in the middle of the night. I was out there for over eight hours. When I came back, I told my mother everything, but she just wrote it off as nothing.

I looked up the symptoms I experienced and I found that it was hardly ‘nothing’ as my mother had said. But I didn’t want to push the matter, for I really did want it to be nothing, so I kept quiet, even though I was still going through these… things.

All was fine for a while, until two months ago. Although this time, I hurt myself, and my sister. And I am frightened that I will do it again.

I feel as though I am a threat to myself and others. But whenever I try to speak to my mother about this, she changes the subject or cuts off the conversation abruptly. I think she is afraid that once a psychiatrist tells me that there is something wrong with me, that she will have to face it.

Is there anything that I can do?

I am home-schooled.

Answer 1

Since you are home-schooled and probably don't know a school counseler, get on the phone and call a crisis hot-line. I don't mean to be an alarmist, but anytime someone has a fear of harming themselves or someone else, it is a very serious matter. Do it now!!!!

Answer 2

first - let me say that YOU are being the adult in this situation. Adults recognize when they need help and ask for it. Your mother is the one that's being an adolescent - she won't confront the problem in front of her as you so bravely have done.

It kind of sucks that you're home schooled as your resources are severely limited. The crisis hotline is a good idea - these will be trained individuals that can probably give you some decent answers. Also - perhaps "fake" the flu. Tell your mom that you really think you need to see your family doctor. then once you're in there you can use the time to tell the doctor what the real problem is.

Here are a couple crisis lines:
(800)442-HOPE (4673)
1-800-448-3000 (this one is 24 hours)
and I don't know what state you're in but here's a link with a list of hotline numbers for each state:
http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/hotlines/state.asp

I don't envy you - I'm bipolar and I didn't get the help I needed when I was younger in part because my mom didn't want others to know that her children weren't "perfect".

I'm sorry you don't have the supportive mother you need right now - but you do need to pursue this issue on your own. It's the responsible thing to do even if your mother isn't being responsible.

I'm curious about these episodes you experience - do you remember them or do you kind of feel like you're in a trance and awaken from them?

it was wise to start here - now you need to make a couple phone calls.

Answer 3

You need to tell mom that you have to see the doctor. Then tell the doctor everything. If something like this happens again before you can see a doctor, you need to go to the emergency room.

Do you have no other adult relatives living nearby? They should be a great help to you, and your mom. If you are being homeschooled, no doubt you are in some sort of sports or other activity (for interaction with people your own age). You could talk to the scout leader, team coach, anyone in an authority position about this.

I am the mom of six (now grown) children. Many times they did not tell me when things were bothering them--and I still don't know why. A parent is supposed to know when something is wrong with, or bothering, their child(ren), so that they can help them.

Answer 4

You poor sweet thing. It is a shame that your mother is harbouring this fear (maybe another family member in the past had this problem as well and she doesn't want to face it because of bad memories). You really do need to talk to someone professional. The first person could be your school counsellor (or one of the Kids Helplines - Google for the one nearest you).

Secondly, you could talk to someone else in your family, maybe an Aunt or Uncle, who maybe able to convince your mum that there is something worrying you that needs some attention.

Also pick up some books from your library about stress management techniques, maybe something will help you there...good luck

Answer 5

If you feel you need help and your mom wants to put her head in the sand, then you need to talk to someone else like your school counselor or family Doctor. If one of these people brings it to her attention maybe she will realize she needs to face that you have a problem and need help.

Answer 6

I would try to speak to a counselor at school. They can recommend something for your mom to do. They'll explain to her that if she refuses and something happens at school, then she will be liable.

Answer 7

if your mum won't listen to you ,maybe you could talk to another relative that you are close with.maybe you could visit the doctor together and find out what is going on in your head....good luck!!!!

Answer 8

i think you need to talk to your counselor at school or a teacher you trust. it does sound like something is going on with you.

Answer 9

talk to a famliy member maybe there is some famliy history of what ever this is that she doesnt want u to know.