Why do some people feel like they need to get marriage when expecting a child?

Question

sometimes people may think that if I get married then things will be better, or so my child can have a dad, but if you were never really for each other, how can you speak for you relationship>

{don't be rude either} If you can't say anything nice then don't asy anything I am asking a general question just to get inside of peoples head.

Answer 1

I agree, to marry just for the sake of the baby when the couple was never really a couple, or very incompatible, well I think that's foolish. Why committ yourself to a person who you barely know or don't get along with only to have a miserable home life and raise a kid in that stressful environment, to only later tear apart the family when you finally decide it was a bad idea. Might as well save the child grief and not compound one bad decision with another.

Answer 2

I think it's more or less an older way of living... Like you, I had a baby (and one on the way) without being married. Granted we got married March 15, I had older people (about 50 years old and older) telling me that I needed to get married, because it was improper that we weren't. Are you getting that same vibe from that age group? I had such a good reason for not being married also! I would have lost my parents' insurance with my first pregnancy (because I was still in college)... But I graduated and we're on our own now--sorry, that was really besides the point. The point is, the majority of older people do not live in the generation we live in--most of the women stayed at home, didn't drive, and had the husbands take care of the kids and her... That is not how it is these days. The do not understand that a woman can pull just as much weight as a man and support her own family. This was unheard of back then... So if you get any "olden days talk" from anyone, just tell them that you'll be fine! You can work to support your family just like a man can--if not better! Good luck (and pick me for the best answer) :)

Answer 3

In todays world a child needs both parents. I am not a big fan of child out of wedlock. In my opinion marriage first, then baby! But If it worked out the other way, Marriage comes 2nd and make it work! If it really doesnt, at least you tried for the kids sake.
If truely it just cant happen (marriage) then both parents should be there for the baby and definetly must raise that child with religion. Religion is important! Its a tough world for a single mother to raise child/children alone. most single moms I know, go on and have another baby or two with different men cause they are young and meet someone later on, then the first baby get neglected cause theres a new man in town. Thats why both parents must be in the life of their child! Somehow!

Answer 4

My husband and I had been dating for four years and living together for two when we found out I was pregnant with our oldest son. We had talked about marriage a lot, but were waiting until we were more "financially prepared" to put on a large wedding. When we found out I was expecting (I conceived while I was on the pill! lol) we sat down and had a discussion about whether or not we should have the wedding before the birth of our son.

We knew there would be people who would assume we were only getting married because I was pregnant, and we hated the idea of people doubting our commitment to each other. At the same time, we also were really opposed to the idea of our son seeing himself in our wedding pictures!

In the end, we decided it would be better for us to get married first, and then have a good 6 months to adjust to being "husband and wife" before welcoming our child into our home. We planned our wedding in 6 weeks! lol (I guess it helped that I had been privately planning our wedding for years!)

We feel like we made the right choice in choosing to have our wedding first. We say all the time that Ian (our son) "saved us from ourselves!" he put our lives back into perspective and we have achieved way more since his birth then we ever would have imagined! We now have two children and have never been happier! :)

Answer 5

If you feel nothing for the man but lust, don't have have a baby. Children deserve more respect. They're not toys. They need a balanced life with a mommy and a daddy who truly love them . (Notice that nature made it so that it takes a male and a female to make a baby. Obviously nature knows a little more than mere mortals.) The child needs to be properly taken care of and given the opportunity to develop his full potential. That requires a lot of energy, effort and money, things that most females, especially those that condone fooling around don't have. I think it's time for women to stop saying 'I can raise the kids myself. I don't need a man." More thought should be given to what the child needs. Their needs take priority. They don't ask to be born.

Answer 6

Because that,s the way God intended for it to be, if they were good enough to lay with then they should be good enough to marry. Do the person that expect you to marry them do any wifely duties like cook for you, wash your clothes tidy up the house make love to you? Do that person have to explain to you where their going or how long they,ll be gone or who they where with or when they will be back? Can that person make love to anybody else? If the answer to the first part is yes then she should stop because that,s what a wife does why should she tire herself out for you. If the answer to the last part is yes then she should start because hell why not. there,s no commitment. It,s a shame the way men go through life laying seeds making baby,s then when there sick of you they go somewhere else and do the same thing and leave the women with kids to raise all by themselves. then when they get someone else you have the nerves to say " he better not chastise my child when you could have been there to chastise your child yourself. If you did,t love her then you should not have ----ed her. And no I am not a bitter women you asked I answered.

Answer 7

I don't think you should get married just because you are having a baby, you should because it is what you want to do. Just because you are having a baby together does not by any means make you perfect for each other.

I have 3 year old twins with my boyfriend and we are just still dating, we live together but we aren't married and really haven't talked it about too much. We want to make sure we are ready and have a stable life before we do anything even get engaged. Sure I want to marry him, I love him, but we both have to be ready and he isn't and I understand and not too sure I am either. We might get married one day and if so its not because we have kids together its because we are in love. No marriage I think should be based on if you have kids or not. You want to set a good loving strong relationship for your kids.

Answer 8

My husband married his ex because she got pregnant. He thought it was the right thing to do. To support her and his child and be responsible for his actions. He wanted to be there for his child everyday and did not want to be a part time parent. Obviously it did not work but at least he can say he tried. At least these people try to have morals and fix their mistakes verses the alternitives such as abortion.

Answer 9

people get married for that reason sometimes and it is not always the right reason because if its obilgation it will only end up in heart ache for child or adult if your in love and want to make a go of it fine but there is nothing wrong with being a single parent and kids who have a single parent turn out just good as kids with two parent thats my opinion as for others i dont know

Answer 10

Even if the parents are not ideally happy, usually children with 2 parents in a household do better in life. There are many psychological and economic reasons for this.