Unstable "Feelings" in a Relationship?

Question

Let's start by: I love my boyfriend okay?

Well, There's this girl .. let's call her "Chick" okay? Well. .. before me&my boyfriend started going out .. He use to talk to a girl named, "Chick". They talkd during the summer .. but she had to move back to her "real home". So he spent every waking min. with her. Before she left, he bought her .. A Laptop. Yeah, a Laptop. But she didn't accept it.. so he just gave in&they said their goodbye's.

A Couple months after .. in October '06. He met me. Then you know the story .. we talkd, &He eventually asked me out. After 2Months, we got Really serious. But then, "Chick" came back for a visit. I remember his Reaction when he heard. He went to go see her behind my back. But he found out I knew becaues I started crying one day. Then .. before she left again. He told her he had N0 FEELings what so ever towards her &She said okay. But even though. why is it that .. I still can't help but .. feel 2nd in everything? Why do I still worry? Plz help.

I love my Boyfriend to DEATH. &He love's me like there's no tommrow .. but how come i'm so In-Secure with him after almost 6months? Someone pelase help. I want to stop being so Emo with him and start being that girl he Once met. Becuase I know he misses that side of me .. &I just really want him to see that I do trust him. Jealousy is bad ]:<

BUT! I do wanna stay with him becasue he is willing to stop talking to her after all the trouble. and he is trying so hard to get eveyrthing back. seriously, what guy do you know .. crys when you cry? and tells you he loves you while gazing in your eyes?

add on: the thing is. this "chick" .. he ONLY talkd to for a month. he didn't even go out with her. i'm only his 2nd girlfriend. and he love's me dearly and i know it. i just wanna get over jealousy because he wants his past .. in his past. but i keep bringing her up -_- i dont know what to do.

for all of you that dont know.. he has stopped talking to her. deleted everything from her .. cut everything up .. just for me. he reiterated that he loves me and only me. but big question: HOW DO I STOP BEING A JEALOUS GIRL and be that girl he met at our friends party. Who laughed at all his jokes .. and played "Mercy" .. oh how i miss that ..

Answer 1

Love is good. I have heard that if the universe is infinite, it is infinite in quality rather than in quantity. It doesn't help to obsess too much about dates and times as a way of trying to figure things out.

Sometimes feelings are as a result of self-hypnotism, which has the side effects of watery, fluttery eyes and stomach noises. I don't believe in gut feelings. The next thing you are going to do if you have a gut feeling will be for yourself - because that's how it works. People feel unsafe when they're self-hypnotising, so they do things like the equivalent of imagining walking back up stairs. They might start tapping on things, counting or measuring. All these things are not love. They are fear of your own personal health.

Try starting with yourself. Make sure you are looking after your own health. A good way to find out what's really making you angry is to do what King David did in Psalms 109. He paid attention to how the people who were hurting him were also hurting the needy. Do something charitable yourself (outside of a charity) for somebody poor and see if you can recognise how your feelings are linked in with other people's concerns as well.

Answer 2

I would suggest give ur guy some space ... if u trouble him or suspect him too much he will definitely go to her. Let him pickup his choice .. if u r sure that he loves u too much then stop worrying and let him meet her and stop making a big deal about it. When u will stop bothering abt it, he will share with every piece of information with u about her. Also, remember, u cannot get cutoff from ur old relationships just coz u r makin a new one. Learn to accept all the relationships your guy has and respect them, even if you dont like them. There might some of ur friends who even your guy wouldn't like. So, its justice to both of u

Hope this helps

Answer 3

You know your reaction is normal.... and expected.

If I were him, this is how it happened. I was wanting to take care of this girl (Chick) and I cared for her greatly cause of all the drama she was going through. I wanted to be her "Savior" and take away all her pain. But due to her problems, or maybe she was with someone else, she doesnt want to be with me.. But if she were to come around I would take her no problem...

So Insted of living in agony all my life.. I decide to stay with my GF because I know that she is there for me and I care about her, but she is not CHICK....

You see when guys feel they need to save something they get attached.. I know I have been there. He does love you, but at the same time he loves her...

I would be scared whenever chick comes around.. cause one day she might just say yes....

Then where does that leave you??

Answer 4

Honey its only been 6 months and there are SO many more fish in the sea, dont waste your time crying or worrying about it.....as crazy as it sounds concentrate on school more, graduate, go to college and then worry about that kinda of stuff.....dont do like most of the rest of us and wish away your life. Make something of yourself and worry about all that later.

Answer 5

Honey. Hes lying to himself and/or you. Yes, he still has strong feelings for her. He may or may not have equaly strong feelings for you but irregardless, he obviously needs to make a choice. And, you may also need to make a hard decision. You may need to decide whether your going to stay with someone who, at least right now, is incapable of committing himself completely to you or if your gonna break it off with him untill he makes up his mind. No matter what you decide, I wish you both luck and happiness.

Answer 6

Hello! SarahLyn.
Trust is most important in any relationship.
If you don't have it move on.
There are many trustworthy men but first of all give yourself time to heal before even contemplating another relationship.
Friendship first!
Take care!

Answer 7

economic causes are the most common causes of divorce on u . s .. funds potential extra to human beings than an truthfully existence lengthy dedication lately. i imagine maximum marry with unrealistic expectancies and at the same time as issues finally get slightly bumpy and the honeymoon era ends, they could't deal...

Answer 8

I like to hang out with several chicks. My GF doesn't like it because she caught me having relations with one of them. Now she doesn't trust me. She's such a psycho.