Should I ask for child support?

Question

I am 4 months pregnant and my boyfriend of 4 years left me a month ago. He has blatantly denied being the father (an unfounded accusation, seeing as I haven't been with anyone else). He has not been there for me whatsoever. I recently found out he has a drug problem. He has a criminal record that includes possession, drug periphenalia, and so many speeding tickets (15+ over speed limit). Should I ask for child support? I want him to have to help me financially, but I do not trust him (nor his mother) alone with my child. Given his record and unwillingness to cooperate, would it be possible to get supervised visitation?

Answer 1

custody/visitation are separate issues from child support. YES, you have a shot at getting supervised visitation, but its a long shot since most states dont have the resources to do it.

even if he takes interest in the child (another long shot), it will get old and he will end up just not bothering... but time will tell. you can NEVER deny him visitation, for it really pisses the court off, and they may even take custody if you do.

if he wants visitation, get "set visitation". its where the days/times of pick up-drop off are set. "open visitation" is a nightmare.. its where they can come and demand the child any time.

YES, you should apply for child support, thats goes without saying... he is just as responsible for support as you are.

today, courts will not allow someone to just sign away their rights, unless there is someone willing to adopt the child (such as a new spouse).

today, child support is based upon BOTH parents incomes. if one parent isnt working, they calculate an income for them (if skilled, then what they are capable of making...unskilled, min wage).

GONE are the days of parents running acorss state lines to avoid child support, today, its a federal offense to do so. GONE are the days of hiding til the child is 18, today, arrears are FOREVER.

you have a while to go... so i would advise learning your states laws for child support, custody, visitation. LEARN THEM ALL. you will have the baby, and apply for child support. he will deny the child, the court will order DNA testing and when he is proven the father, the court will calculate an amount to be paid.

today, child support goes til the child is 18-21 (depending upon the state), may continue while the child is in college. also, there is a cost of living increase every 2-4 years, depending upon the state.

LINKS: just click on your state...and find the subjects/sections you need.

CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATOR
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/

YOUR STATES CS POLICY
http://childsupportcenter.org/stateprofiles.php

ABANDONMENT (NO SHOW PARENTS)
http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/

NOT ALL PARENTS LOVE THEIR CHILDREN
And "RATIONAL LIES"
http://www.alllaw.com/articles/family/child_custody/article7.asp

FREE LEGAL HELP IN YOUR STATE
(just click on your state to find contact info)
http://www.lawhelp.org/

LAWS
http://www.divorcehq.com/spprtgroups.html
http://www.divorceinfo.com/statebystate.htm
http://www.divorcenet.com/states
http://www.divorcesource.com/
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.divorcecentral.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/unpaid-support/support-orders-enforcement.html
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.divorceinanutshell.com/
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-laws/state-child-/
http://www.supportguidelines.com/resources.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/links.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/laypersons.html
http://www.supportguidelines.com/articles/news.html
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-basics/
http://www.spiesonline.net/deadbeat.shtml
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html

STATS
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/acesstatistics.html

FINDING DEADBEATS
(and background cks to find them)
http://www.usarecordssearch.com/
http://deadbeatsnitch.com/
http://www.wantedposters.com/skiptrace.htm
http://find.intelius.com/search-name.php?ReportType=1&
http://omnitrace.com/Missing-Persons-Search.html?OVRAW=deadbeat&OVKEY=deadbeat&OVMTC=standard
http://www.discreetdata.com/index.html
http://www.identitycrawler.net/people_search.html
http://www.peoplefinders.com
http://zabasearch.com/
http://www.crimcheck.com/personalreports.htm
http://www.easybackgroundchecks.com/
http://www.abika.com/
http://www.freeprf.com/
http://www.efindoutthetruth.com/
http://www.netsleuth.com/
http://netonlineinvestigators.com/index.asp
http://www.backgroundcheckgateway.com/
http://www.backgroundcheckgateway.com/locate-people.html


FED AGENCIES
http://www.ncsea.org/
http://www.nfja.org/index.shtml
http://www.naag.org/issues/issue-consumer.php

REGIONAL FEDERAL CHILD SUPPORT OFFICES
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/oro/regions/acf_regions.html

FACTS AND REGIONAL FEDERAL CS OFFICE INFO
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/fct4.htm
http://www.divorcesource.com/WI/ARTICLES/beaulier11.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/opa/fact_sheets/cse_factsheet.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/index.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/faq.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/passport.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/fop.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/faq/faq.htm
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/grants/grants_cse.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/index.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.govbenefits.gov/govbenefits_en.portal
http://www.fedstats.gov/qf/
http://www.fedworld.gov/gov-links.html
http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/pfs92/ch3.htm

SSI AND DISABILITY
FOR CHILD SUPPORT
https://s044a90.ssa.gov/apps6z/ISBA/main.html
http://www.ssa.gov/policy/docs/policybriefs/pb2004-02.html
http://www.ssa.gov/notices/supplemental-security-income/
http://family.findlaw.com/

FIND YOUR REPS
http://www.usa.gov/
http://www.usa.gov/Agencies/State_and_Territories.shtml
http://www.nga.org
http://www.naag.org/attorneys_general.php
http://judiciary.senate.gov/

CHILD SUPPORT LIEN NETWORK
(some states work with them)
http://www.childsupportliens.com/

COLLECTORS
http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.supportcollectors.com/faq.php
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/links.html
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml

TAX INFO
http://www.taxsites.com/index.htm
http://www.divorceinfo.com/taxes.htm
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc354.html
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/advocate/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p525/index.html

http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p504/ar02.html#d0e563
http://money.cnn.com/2007/02/14/pf/taxes/do_not_miss_tax_breaks/index.htm?postversion=2007021411

REPORT DEADBEATS
WORKING UNDER THE TABLE
(in writing, to your local and federal IRS offices)
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/compliance/enforcement/article/0,,id=106778,00.html

SEX OFFENDERS
http://www.mapsexoffenders.com/
http://www.scanusa.com/
http://www.nsopr.gov/
http://www.familywatchdog.us/Default.asp

Answer 2

If you don't want him or his mother ever involved with the child, then I say NO. Once you get child support involved, the father automatically has visitation rights, wheather he is current in paying his child support or not. You cannot have your cake and eat it to. If you feel that strongly about it, then raise the child your self. I did, and I told my ex that he could have the house and I would raise my son and he was not to be involved until the child was 21. Well, when my son was 16 he tryed to become a long distance Daddy, by sending my son a one time 300.00 for Christmas. It worked temporarily, my son thought he was God and I was the Devil, my son is now 20 years old, living on his own and doesn't even want to meet his birth father. All that I'm saying is if you don't want the father involved, then don't ask for child support. It's your call

Answer 3

I have been in this same situation and I would take time to look into the laws of the state that you live in. I was married to the father of my youngest and I filed for divorce after he started into the drugs. I won the support case and made sure when we went for visitation court that I had a copy of his records ( and his families) and simply asked for supervised visitation for the first year. Since he did not want to have to deal with seeing me or any court ordered personnel, he has just quit trying to contact her. ( I figure if he wants to see his daughter, then he can clean up his act to do it.) I suggest that you have someone court ordered supervise the visitation because if he comes for a visit and is under the influence, they HAVE to report it to the judge. Child support is nice to have if he can hold down a job, but in my case, he just moves from job to job so I can't get any support out of him. Good Luck .

Answer 4

Most likely you would get child support and he would get un supervised visits including every other weekend and holidays until it was proved he was an unfit father which is basically impossiable to do unless he has hurt the child and you have a police report. Since the child has not been born yet its unlikely they would award supervised visits. Basically you have to decide if you think your child would be in real danger whats more important your baby or money.

Answer 5

I think that you really need to think about whether to go after him or not.

If he's denying that he's the dad, odds are he's not going to fight to get his name put on the birth certificate. You could give the baby your last name (you can even if he signs the birth certificate actually), and do things on your own. That way you would never have to worry about him getting visitation. But of course you won't have the child support that way. But in all reality, do you think he would pay it even if you did get a court order? I know that you could get his wages garnished, but that doesn't always work. My husband owns a pizza place where we employ unskilled labor. There has only been 1 employee ever (in the over 10 years we've been in the industry) who has stuck around after the garnishment order arrives. Most of the guys wait until it catches up with them, then quit and move onto another job until it catches up with them again. And if he doesn't earn a lot of money to begin with, you're maybe talking about a couple hundred bucks a month--is it really worth the headache or worrying about what he is doing with the kid.

And, if someday he gets his act together and becomes a stand up guy, you could always get paternity established at that point. But I'd really think about whether its worth it or not, or just better to do things all on your own.

Answer 6

Definitely ask for a paternity test (just to prove who the father is) and ask for child support and with a history of drug problems and criminal problems supervised visitation should not be a problem. He needs to take financial responsibility even if he isn't a part of your child's life, believe me it will come in handy. Even if you don't need it you could put it in your child's savings account for future use.

Answer 7

You should! If you plan on being a single mother you deserve it. First you'll have to get a paternity test before they will even grant you child support (Regardless of the fact you know it's his) Given his record and such I would more than likely guess that you could ask for supervised visitation, but you would need to talk to a lawyer in your state regarding the laws and such. Good luck.

Answer 8

The better question would be, if you were to get a court ruling for child support, what money he doesn't have would you be getting from him on a monthly basis. I never would tell someone to give up their right to something this important, and nor should you, I think you should pursue legal action to try to get him to own up to his responsibilities. Just understand that there is a good chance that trying to get money from him, would be like squeezing water from a stone. Also remember that civil cases cost money in the end, you need to be willing to front your part at the very least, and you might not get a sizable enough return to make it worth your while.

Good luck.

Answer 9

Do not ASK for it, DEMAND it.

It is a LEGAL REQUIREMENT he do so. PERIOD.

The visitation part is a separate issue from this. Do not leave him nor his Mother alone with the Baby. EVER, the safety and well-being of the Baby MUST come FIRST (and second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, etc). If either of them thinks they have the RIGHT to see the Child because he (the Father) is paying support, let them "deal with it". They will have to take YOU to court, at which time you can explain why you have been unwilling to allow it.

Answer 10

I would definitely go for child support. His mother has no legal claims on the child and it sounds like you won't have to worry about the father trying to get custody. Even if he does no judge would grant it under those conditions. The most important thing is making sure that baby has a stable life. So go for it.

and to "thesipho…" that is the consequences you face for having a baby with someone. You made the decision now you have a responsibility to that child and that father. That's life.

Answer 11

I think this all depends on the laws from your state, but if you don't get supervised visitation I think it'll be better if you just forget about the money. He may want to try using the child to hurt you. Besides, how much money do you think he can give you? No matter the amount it's not worth having the child suffering with him.