how do i stop feeling lonely?

Question

I feel like a total saddo,i`m 24 and my ex left me and our son just after new year for the 2nd time and i feel so alone it`s unbearable sometimes.

My son has learning difficulties so i cant have little conversations with him.My friends are all settled down with kids of their own.I`m now starting to drink just to forget my problems and putting on weight rapidly because of this.

A guy who seemed interested is now not and i feel like total crap all the time,i just want to feel happy again but dont know where to start.I`ll be seeing my ex for the first time on friday and he is with someone else and was before he walked out again.how do i make myself happy agian?

Answer 1

In the same situation,only my 2 boy's don't have learning Difficulties.
They are only 8 & 4 so convo is lmited.
The only way I helped myself
I gave up alcohol,it made feel rubbish and I was doing things out of character.
I'm learning to Drive,I'm saving up to move House down South "always a dream off mine",joined the gym and because I don't binge drink or eat anymore have lost 3 stone.
If friends old and new ask me to go out I do,I've got a baby sitter now,so do what ever it takes,It's still hard but it will come together,you can't keep punishing yourself for picking the wrong Man,let it go and start to move on.
I also contacted old friends from school day's and we have a great laugh talking about our lives and yes they have made the same mistakes.
Hope some off this helped.
In a nut shell,you can't change the past, but you can change your future.

Answer 2

First, even one drink is one too many. You have your son to look out for and that isn't going to help one bit. When you feel down, have any one of those energy drinks in the refrigerator that you can give you a better, positive feeling .

Is there any time during the day where you can walk for 15 to 30 minutes? It is a great way to think and sort things out before taking a course of action & get some exercise.

Do you really want to see your ex later in the week? Leaving twice and the year is three months old certainly shows he has made his mind up on things, especially if he is already seeing someone else. Again, it sounds like he has made his mind up.

Does an area church or community center have support groups for women who are separated and/or have children with special needs? Unfortunately, you aren't alone in this situation and you may find talking with other women may help see you through these tough times.

Answer 3

First, I'm very sorry to hear everything you're going through. I can imagine it's painful.
You are the only one who can figure out how to feel whole again. I would not recommend getting into any relationships for a while, you need time to heal and time to find who you are alone again.
The truth is, it may never completely stop hurting. However, you have a son to set an example for. Put down the alcohol at the very least for his sake. Do the best you can with your ex.... be bitter about what he did as much as you need to, but don't let your child be the one who feels the effects of it.
The only thing I can tell you, is to fully engulf yourself in your son, and your family and friends. Think of all the things that you can do now that you are single, set goals for yourself and keep pushing forward.
If your ex left you, he doesn't deserve you. it's very possible you will find love again down the road, just give yourself time.

I wish the very best for you and your son.

Answer 4

I'm sure you already know that drinking is not the answer, and that alcohol is a depressant and will make you feel worse in the long run.
One suggestion I have is to start getting physically active. Exercise helps depression a lot. If you don't have the time to get out, get some DVDs or videos to watch at home. There is a great variety out there, I have aerobics, yoga, salsa dancing, and even a bellydancing tape :-)
Another suggestion I have is to get involved in a hobby you like (knitting, gardening, or whatever). Most hobbies have local clubs that you can get involved in, and it's a great way to make new friends, or even meet someone new to date!
One family friendly hobby that I've been involved in is letterboxing (I've included a link to read more about it) and perhaps it's something you can do with your son, and meet new people too.

Answer 5

Sweets,
At 24, you are burdened as a single mother of a child with learning difficulties. You have been thrust into a world that is difficult enough for an experienced adult to navigate.
There are support groups. If you call your county Human Services Department they can direct you.
You need a support system derived of caring, mature individuals. Your child's father is not ready or able to do that and so it is up to you.
Take this as a blessing and an opportunity. You will meet stronger people. You will find people who care for you. And you will get to learn yourself.
Love, once you know who yo are, you'll be hard pressed to feel lonely.
Hugs to you!

Answer 6

Do you have reliable child care for your son that will enable you to take a class one night a week or on a Saturday afternoon? See if your community offers any support/social groups for single parents or for parents with children who have learning disabilities. My mother met my stepfather at Parents Without Partners. They have lots of activities for just the adults and for the adults and the kids. My parents have been married now for over 20 years and they're still friends with a few couples they met through PWP. Look on the Internet and see if there is a chapter in your area.

Answer 7

Well, its hard situation your in. For one thing, if ANY guy leaves you ... with a son. There REALLY Pathetic. I mean, come-on. Even if he isn't the fater, he should still at least have consideration of you, you know?

2nd. Its difficult having a child with learning difficulties. My cousin who is only 8 has learning difficulties. But SET A GOOD EXAMPLE for him. He's a bright kid and you know it. Your his mother, and whatever your sturggling with, he's going to struggle to. Help him out. Be there as a mom, not as a Emo-Drinking mom. It's not such a good example for him. You wouldn't want him to go through what your going through am I right?

Drinking can only cause to more .. impact on your situation. Dont let it be such a Big habit. D0 N0T Startbeing a alcoholic. Because once you know it, Your kid is going to 15, sneaking in your drinks with his friends. wanting to do drugs. and that isn't going to be his fault. you impacted that idea into his brain. so dont be an alcoholic. You have to be strong for your kid and be his role-model. because truthfully, your the Only one there for him.

Dont' over feed your self with food either. Having fun is: playing games with your son. Play learning games. Play softball or go to the park for a stroll. That will take things off your mind, trust me. Go to the gym every now and then to. Losing a couple weights wouldn't hurt at all. And once you look nice and clean, guys will be all over you again. Dont dig a big hole and stuff your self because of your ex. As a matter of fact, hes stupid and your a strong girl. You'll make it through okay? Take care hun.

<3: Lynn

Answer 8

Number one look after yourself ,if you are not strong you can't look after your son. I know it may seem difficult right now but in time you will be glad to see the back of this sad loser. The woman he is now with has gained a selfish idiot and you have gained your freedom and independance.
Try not to rush into another relationship there are wankers that prey on vulnerable women.
Build your strength up,get your hair done,buy new shoes treat yourself. Join a gym ,get out with friends, go to the pictures, join a group of parents that also have children with learning difficulties.Share your feelings. Meet nice people take your son out have fun. Go to a college class. Get on with living SMILE and count yourself lucky, you've had a narrow escape. Good Luck!

Answer 9

Don't fall into this black hole! You need to stop drinking and eating to feel better because in the long run, it will make you feel much MUCH worse! Make your ex jealous and hook up with a hottie--or better yet, get into a relationship that makes you happy! Treat yourself WELL. A little exercise is enjoyable and will help you loose some weight (if you think you're getting heavy). Indulge a little and buy a new outfit to help you start over! You CAN overcome this miserable time in your life. Everyone is down sometimes. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 10

I always have this problem. What would cheer me up is a good song thats catchy and long. Maybe a funny joke that keeps you chuckling all day. Maybe venting out all your rage onto someone you're close to, like a friend. Maybe even a game that means nothing but is a time burner. Another possiblity is before you go to sleep, day dream to doze you off, something peaceful. Go to bed early and wake up, hopefully with a good dream that you can smile about or think about.