I just wrote this poem for someone. Please let me know what u think, should i change anything. Thanks in advance
I lived in misery and pain.
happiness was felt in vain.
depression desolation and despair.
im in hell without a prayer.
god laughs at me with spite.
maybe ive started to find the light.
cant tell if its an illision.
and cant come to a conclusion.
going crazy im on the brink.
could it be what i think.
if its what i hope.
no more reasons to mope.
time to listen to my soul.
and give my heart controll.
time will tll the nitty-gritty.
when i arrived to manila city.
im sure it will be great.
will she end up being my mate.
2007-03-26 13:32:56 · 8 answers · asked by freakhazerd 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
nitty gritty= truth
manila city its a inside thing u wouldnt understand
2007-03-26 13:45:26 · update #1
manila city is a city in the philippines just google it if u want to know about it.
2007-03-26 14:37:10 · update #2
That was very beautiful......you spelled illusion wrong, and whats manila city?
2007-03-26 14:02:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you aren't this sad. I like the poem.God wouldn't laugh at anyone with spite though. Putting all your hopes for happiness on someone else, that's kind of scary for both people. What if she wasn't able to make you happy? What if she is scared of not being good enough for you?
2007-03-26 20:46:10 · answer #2 · answered by Rosalind S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds pretty cliche. You want to die-then you find love-don't know if they love you-what the hell does Manilla City have to do with anything. It really sounds like a stalker poem-I wouldn't give it to anybody, unless you want a restraining order brought to you soon.
2007-03-26 20:41:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ummmm....... nitty gritty?
I know what nitty gritty means... it's frickin corny.
2007-03-26 20:38:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right.
2007-03-26 20:37:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i never understood why poems should ryhme
i like haikus better
2007-03-26 20:37:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does this have to do with religion?
BTW, it's pretty good.
2007-03-26 20:36:48 · answer #7 · answered by Gordon Freeman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't change a thing. give it to him now
2007-03-26 20:36:33 · answer #8 · answered by hot carl sagan: ninja for hire 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋