should I let him attend the birth?

Question

My baby daddy has done NOTHING but cause me stress throughout my entire pregnancy. He's not been there when I needed him. He constantly works my nerves (on purpose) & tries to "control" me. He says he will do things but doesn't. I just feel that he has not done his part. It's like he doesn't even care! I don't believe that he deserves to see his daughter born. I think witnessing the event is a privilege, not a right. Besides, just the sight of him gives me grief. I don't think him being in the delivery room is good for my health. I can only imagine what our baby is gonna turn out like because of all the negative energy during this pregnancy.

Answer 1

I think may be you should weigh the effects if you don't let him attend, through your daughters eyes. This may not come up until years from now , but it will do a number on her. You have not only yourself to think about. What is best for her.Just revisit the issue after you have placed all best interest of the child.
Now he has to do his part and be an adult too, that means its by your rules or not thing you as the one giving birth calls the shots. So give achance , but now if he crosses a line you have every right to give him the boot. And all with knowing you were the better person and made great strides to be an adult about it.And plus it just lets your daughter know you want her life as full of love and family you have the means to.
But like I said leave it up to him to get himself kicked out for being a ugly person, for what I gather , it wont take long before he breaks the rules of the delivery room.
Trust in the love of your child ,and they will show you the way to a true heart.There's not thing as pure.
Good luck to you , all the best as well.

Answer 2

You've answered your own question. You don't think his presence in the delivery room would be healthy for you. Enough said. Labor is difficult enough when you have supportive people around. You don't need an audience that stresses you out and offers you no comfort. Tell him you'll call him after the baby arrives. If it hurts his feelings OH WELL. He should have been more considerate during the pregnancy. Plus, it's not like he married you and is supporting you.

My sister was in a similar situation. It pissed the father off but she had my Mother in the room and called him the next day to come see their daughter. You're right, it's a privilege to be in the room (a privilege you earn) it's not a right.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

If what you say is true don't let him. I wouldn't. This comes from an adult with a teenage child not a teenager. When my daughter was born her father was present. I let him be there because he wanted to be. Also during the pregnancy I was always very ill. He tried what he could to help. The man wasn't perfect but he tried. And every time he acted up I told him I wasn't gonna let him see the baby born. In my case he's the one that took me to the hospital. And he would visit me because I hated being there and not feeling well. Think about it. If he has tried though not perfect but has made a good effort on his part. If after thinking about it. You decide no he hasn't. Then don't let him see the baby born.

Answer 4

Coming from my own experience with my ex-husband.......tell him to stay OUT!! He was of no help to me during my pregnancy as well & all he done was sit on his duff and eat corn chips while I was laying there in labor. All it done was annoyed me. Had I known then that I could have had his butt put out I would have!!! Now, on the other hand, my current husband was wonderful during both of my pregnancies with our sons and was sooooo much help during my deliveries. I couldn't believe that there was so much difference between 2 men until I met him!!!! If he's going to stress you out & make things that rough.....keep him out. Who cares if it pi$$es him off, he doesn't seem to be caring about how you feel now. I think I would also drop the loser. Good luck hon & I wish you the very best with the rest of your pregnancy, the labor and delivery, and I wish you a happy, healthy newborn!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Birth should be a beautiful and special time for you and your baby. Negativity isn't allowed. If all he is going to do is cause you misery and pain don't let him be there in the room with you. It is your choice to have whom ever you want in there. Sometimes allowing the man who hasn't been there during your pregnancy to see the birth can change his outlook. I wouldn't deny him ever seeing the baby though. You know him better than we do, you may know how he will act, go off your instincts and the love of your baby.

Answer 6

You want to make sure you're as comfortable as possible during delivery. If you think having him in the room with you is going to stress you out unnecessarily then dont invite him. Your health and your babys health is more important than his feelings. And obviously he doesnt care about your feelings, so why should you care about his?

Answer 7

Nah, i truly do no longer think of this is a place to have a baby, fairly by way of fact at this age they are able to grow to be fairly under pressure and you annoying approximately him is in all likelihood to be the least of your concerns. delivering a baby, even although I ought to admit that is extremely obscure to me now, could be fairly annoying. factor is, your staying power is going to be at an all time low, his restlessness is maximum in all likelihood going to be at an all time extreme and the two clashing, properly, as sturdy as a determine as you okay possibly, sturdy women people have reported issues in delivering a baby wherein they might have been able to chew decrease back on different activities. Do you truly need your elder baby there for something you may okay say to him which you will actually be apologetic approximately later? *I say this by way of fact i recognize i'm an fairly affected person mom yet while i'm having a undesirable sufficient day i recognize even i'd like a time-out from my infants and the theory-approximately how busy my adult males have been at that age and the rigidity of hard artwork, something is achieveable.

Answer 8

He's the father of that baby, he may not be of any help to you, but he can still be a good dad to that baby. It's his right to attend the birth. That baby is as much his as yours. Don't let your negative feelings get into the way of his right as a father, if he's willing to take responsibility for that baby, then do not deny him that right. Many guys would have just left, at least your guy didn't leave you as soon as he found out. Don't think for a minute that your guy isn't just as nervous as you are, he's the father, it's his right, just as it's his right to have his name on the birth certificate.

Answer 9

It is your choice who can or cant be in the delivery room with you. Since labor can be stressfull enough on its own I would recommend keeping all outside stresses as far away as possible. Find someone who can support you and keep you calm to be in the delivery room with you. Congrats and good luck!

Answer 10

Definately do not invite him to the birth - he has no legal right to attend. Ask a relative or friend to be your labor coach so that you have positive support in the delivery room. Best wishes.