need help with 2yr old girl, bought toddler bed???

Question

got back from deployment a week ago, the whole 6months i was gone, my wife had daughter sleep in my spot in the bed. now that i am back, we just bought a toddler bed for her and put it in her own room.

right now we put her in her bed when she is already sleep and about 3-4 in the morning she would wake up and come in the bed with us.

but if we put her in the toddler bed awake, she would cry like crazy and then come to our room.

What is the best method to help ease her into her own bed? and how long do you think it would take for her to adjust. we were thinking about turning on a cartoon and put the tv on a sleep timer, but decided not to. any advise would be helpful. thanks.

Answer 1

your wife did you NO favors by letting this happen while you were gone.

try taking her to HER bed and stroking her head while she falls asleep, tell her a bedtime story, read to her, whatever will relax her, but explain that everyone has their own bed and this is especially for her, so she needs to stay in it.

This will take time to overcome, be patient, don't get mad.

Welcome home, thanks for your service/sacrifice

Answer 2

First of all, your wife made a bad desicion in leaving the princess sleep with her. Buying a bed right before you arrived to make that transition into a toddler bed, was a terrible idea. She had to do this way before you arrived ,so now there wouldnt be problems.

The only thing i can tell you is to stick with your normal nighttime routine. If the novelty of sleeping in a bed has your toddler up and about past his bedtime, gently but firmly lead him back to the bed, explaining that he must stay there until morning. Your toddler should get the message after a few nights. Just be consistent, whoever is putting the child to bed. I think mommy should do this ,since she wa sthe one who mad the bad habit. Good luck!

Answer 3

First of all do not put her in her bed asleep. Put her in her bed sleepy. Develope a routine, such as bath, story, cuddle time, bedtime. This not only helps her body and mind get ready for bed, it is a great bonding time as well, which can help with her need to be with both of you. You could sit with her in a chair in her room until she falls asleep and when she wakes do the same thing. Then gradually increase your distance from her bed and out her room until she feels secure. You could also put the toddler bed in your room until she is used to it and then move it back to her bedroom. Of course there is the option, you are trying to avoid, which is letter her cry herself to sleep in her room. If one of the two above options doesn't work, then you will just have to let her cry it out. If you follow a consistent routine, the crying may last only a few nights. When you do put her to bed remind her that she is loved and say goodnight. The more talking you do, the more attention she is getting. The goal is to help her feel secure yet develope the ability to fall asleep on her own in her bed.
I did a routine with my son and now he goes to bed with little diffculty most nights. For future deployments, keep the established routine and process and you won't have to endure it again.

I was an MA2(SW)

Answer 4

I don't blame mom for sleeping with the baby when you were gone, but she shoud of gotten the child used to the new bed before you got home. Sinse it is too late for that I would suggest a slow, gradual move to her own room.
A two year old is smarter than you think, They just lack the maturity to fallow some rules like sleeping in her room.

If you abruptly move her she might resent daddy being home.

Stick to what you are doing now. Then in a week or so start talking about a time when she will be old enough to sleep in her own room. Make a calander and mark the date when she becomes a big girl in her own room.

Get her a digital clock for her room and then write down the number 7 (or whatever number you choose) and tell her she can't get up for the day until the clock says 7. It worked for all three of my kids.

If you have to do too much entertaining to get her to bed, you guys will be trained to accomideate her. She needs to become part of the family and learn to be in her own room.
Some other countries find it ok to let a small child sleep in the parents room. It is up to you. how you want to deal with this.

A two year old is still a little one and might need that middle of the night move to your bed to feel safe. This is a time of reconnection for your family. Just set a month and day when you plan on her being in her own "big girl bed"

A night light might help, and her favorite bear or blanket might help/ She is old enough to tell her that when she wants to get up and come to your room you want her to hold her teddy bear and blanket and close her eyes again and go back to sleep.

Good luck

Answer 5

There are a few things you can try, although it is consistency that will be the key. It is awful hard on her to have mommy all to herself and sleeping with her, and then her being expected to all of a sudden sleep in a new bed in her own room without Mum. You should make the transition gradually for everyone's sakes. Is there room for you to put the toddler bed in your room for a couple of weeks? Or just the mattress?
Another thing is rewards for her staying in her own room all night. Another thing to try is getting her a twin bed and laying with her to go to sleep, then leaving once she is. I know that seems like replacing one habit with another but it could help her stay in there all night.
Is her room decorated up? Is she afraid of the dark? Try to see things, and possible problems from her perspective, and keep explaining that she does need to have her own space as you do yours. Hope some of this helps. Good luck....it's a tough one....we've been through it with our kids:)

Answer 6

Yeah, I definitely wouldn't have a T.V. in her room. She might become dependent upon it... and it's not a good habit to get into.

I just bought a book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers" from Amazon.com I'm sorry I can't give you any pointers yet... haven't received the book... but I understand what you're going through. I'm trying to get my 13 month old son to sleep in his crib, but I don't like the idea of the whole cry-it-out method. I don't think they understand. It probably feels like a punishment and it shouldn't.

So, anyway. This book has great reviews online. Here's a link...

http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Toddlers-Preschoolers/dp/0071444912

Welcome home (I was raised in the Marine Corp. I remember how happy I was when my Dad would come home from Okinawa. I'm sure you're happy to be home as well) Best wishes.

Answer 7

I would put her to bed when she is awake not when she has already follen asleep, the last thing she remembers is where she was when she fell asleep, try letting her pick out sheets for her new bed with favorits cartoon character on it and a special sleeping buddy like new or old stuff animal ect. when you put her to bed read books to her, have music soft smothing music on low all night at first until she gets use to it, have a night light on ect. after you read books give hugs and kisses turn out lights and leave should she get up replace her back in her bed tell her she a big girl and big girls need to sleep in there own big beds say your suffed bear (for example) needs someone to keep safe and warm and only you can do that, if she gets out of bed with no talking just replace her back in her bed and leave right away may take a while of you doing this and heart breaking to you but she will get the idea and will fall asleep, if she gets up middle of night do the samething it may take a hour or little more of you replacing her into her bed but she will give up and go to sleep and the more you do this everynight will get better and soon if you stick to it you wont need to do it anymore, you wont to nail this naw because the longer it goes on her in your bed the harder it will become to get her to sleep in her own bed, a friend of mine has a seven year old going on eight soon, and she has to lie down everynight with her to go to sleep and if she does not her daughter comes in there bed. good luck hope this works for you, it did for me

Answer 8

I am still trying to figure this one out, but I do have some advice. NO television! I ruined my oldest with that trick. Plus studies have shown that sleeping with the television on makes for horrible sleep. And can help cause nightmares. He will NOT sleep without the television on. When he stays with relatives who won't allow it, he stays up until he passes out usually around 3 or 4 AM. I wish I had NEVER gotten that started. Sorry I don't have a suggestion to help as I am struggling with that now with 2 little ones, but I thought I would share my mistake with you so that you will know someone else's experience before going that route.

Answer 9

My personal opinion is that you're going to have to transition her. (I use the website: www.askdrsears.com) If she's used to sleeping with someone, you're either going to have to have one of you sleep with her or near her for a while and slowly wean her off of your presence. Just putting her in the bed isn't going to work because its not what she's used to. You can keep putting her in your bed or find an option that allows you to put her in her own bed and get used to it. Try the website with this question or one of the Dr. Sears books. There is a Baby Sleep Book and one for Toddlers (which might have better information considering the situation you're working with). Good luck!

Answer 10

the first mistake was letting your daughter sleep in your bed. BIG BIG mistake. your only other options are move the bed into your room for a while until she sleeps in there by herself, sleep in her room, or THE BEST option is to put her in her bed, (in her room), close the door and secure it. sure she will throw a tantrum, but if you give in, then she will have the power, (you dont want her to have the power, major concequences later in life) eventually, she gets tired enough to sleep in her own bed. JUST DONT GIVE IN!!!!!