Would you ever do this?

Question

I'm 19 years old, a college student and a single father. I have a year old daughter, Rina. In the last 6ms I've gone out with 3 girls, all of which who completely freaked out when they learned that I was a father. I don't understand what the big deal is...I'm not asking for a mother for my kid at 19.
Honestly, if you were 19, would you ever date a 19 year old guy with a year old daughter? What about at age 23, dating a 23 year old guy with a 4 year old daughter? Why?

my daughter's mother died in a car accident

Answer 1

I read your previous question and it really seems like you’re a responsible, caring and loving father. I remember when I was 20 and in college, I dated this 21 year old guy for about two months before I found out he had an 18 month old son. He too was a single father and his son lived with his parents while he was at school. He brought me to meet his son one weekend and I completely freaked out. The question that went through my mind was, "What if we get serious, do I really want to be a mother figure to his son?" At 19, the last thing on a girl’s mind is raising kids or being a mother. They may think babies are cute as can be, but they don't want to be responsible for one. At 23, I wouldn’t have minded dating a guy with a 1 year old kid, but it wouldn’t be something I was looking for. At that age, girls want finish up college, get a job and enjoy life (not saying kids aren't fun) before getting involved with someone who's already a few steps ahead of them. I was married and a mother by the age of 25 and I always wished I waited a little longer.
You’re going to find it extremely difficult to find a girl to date who's going to want to be involved in your situation while you're in college. You will find though that they'll want to be friends. Rina is going to grow up to be daddy's little girl and she will be the only truly important woman for a while. You will find someone though, don't worry.
Best of wishes and way to be a single dad. There aren't that many men who would do what you’re doing.

Answer 2

Bravo single dad!
Yet as a single woman, a 19 year with that kinda baggage is not something I would have wanted. No matter HOW wonderful they both were. Only until you mid-twenties are you going to be recieved in a better way. Sorry... that is the truth.

Well that has just an incredible advantage for you. You get the precious gift of your baby girl as the only GAL in your life for 5-8 years and by the time she is in school, there will be other single parents to "Bond" with and "Playdate w/ the kids" and it will open UP a whole new dating pool for you and a more "Family" friendly one at that.

If you like to club or party, then just "Soe your oats" and be safe. Unless you find a very special girl, then good luck.

I am a minister, wife and mother- My advise is get into a Large church that has social event with childcare provided.
As a student, I assume your parents are a huge part of your daughters life as well. What a lucky family! Yet during the school year they have "mother's day out" which you daughter will need the socialize with other kids and you can use the time off. Check in to those. Best wishes.

Answer 3

The reason why they freak out,is because they aren't looking to settle down (and usually people with children are ready rather than going out and dating a lot of girls) they feel pressured by the fact that you have a one year old daughter. They think that they are young, and aren't ready for that kind of responsibility, and don't want to be seen dating a person with a daughter. Even if you aren't asking them to be the mother of your child, they feel like if they stay away, it's better for them.

Personally, I'd date a guy with a one year old daughter. (If he was reapsonsible and a good father). I'm acutally 19 and 6 months pregnant. I think it's a good thing that you are going to college and raising your daughter as well. but maybe you should cut back on the dating scene and concentrate on yourself, college, and your daughter.

Answer 4

First off, I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's mother. I'm in my mid-thirties, married with 2 kids. But I think at 19 I wouldn't want to date someone with a kid. I just remember at that age just wanting to go out all the time - dance clubs, movies, etc. I think it's just the kind of person I was - wanted to enjoy my teen years. Not saying that all 19 year olds are like that - I just was at that time.

P.S. What a beautiful name your daughter has.

Answer 5

I feel so bad for your situation and it's too bad you haven't ran into more mature and caring females to go out with. The right one will come eventually, who will fall in love with you because of your loving and caring for your daughter. I would refrain from your daughter meeting anyone though until you are sure that it will be someone who will be a constant in both your lives. Keep telling women before hand though...it will help weed out the ones who aren't right for you. You and your daughter are a package deal...it doesn't matter at this point why you are 19 with a child. The point is, you are and you deserve the happiness everyone else does. Just be careful in the future:) Good luck, and keep putting yourself and your daughter number 1.:)

Answer 6

I'm not sure if I would date a 19 year old father. I suppose it would depend on his situation.
I think someone already said this, but just keep being a good dad and eventually a woman will come along who appreciates you AND your daughter, and who is willing to deal with everything that comes with you two =)

Answer 7

No, I wouldn't date a 19 year old father. No offense, but I would worry too much about why you and your ex split and why you even got the point of having a kid at 19 anyway.

At 23, I wouldn't date you either. However, that's just me. I'm sure you'll find a woman who is in love with your daugther...and you.

Answer 8

its normal for an 19 year old girl to freak out when you tell her. I mean having a child is huge.. and while your not asking them to be a mother figure for your daughter... thats what it will lead to if the two of you would get serius.
My advice to you... focus on school, and your daughter.. love and everything else will come with time.

Answer 9

Stick to your guns, remain a good and loving and caring father and one day some young lady will admire that about you and then you will know that you have chosen wisely....these girls you are dating, you must not be chosing very wisely....besides, you don't need to complicate things with a serious relationship right now, finish college and just date for fun right now.

Answer 10

I wouldn't mind dating someone with a kid, however, it depends on the situation u are in. I wouldn't date a person who isn;t there for their kid. If the person is a loving parent, is there for their child both mentally and financially, then i dont see what the problem is.