Should I get rid of him???

Question

I'm 22 and in college and the relationship with my bf now is one that I hope will develop into marriage eventually. (Just saying this to let you know that I'm older and not like casual dating in jr. high and high school) Anyway, last night he came over and after he was showing me his phone because the screen is screwed up and hard to see. And I asked him to let me see his calls to make sure he's not talking to anyone else. He got really defensive. Then he finally went through his recent calls and he went really quick over another girl's name so that I couldn't see it. I asked him what that was and he said that it was me. I knew it wasn't but he wouldn't admit it. So then we argued about it and I just asked him to be honest and he kept denying it so he left, both of us mad and me threatening not to talk to him anymore. Then he calls me back like an hour later and asks if I'm mad...kind of like he hopes that I am not serious about ending our relationship.Should I believe him? I hate this

This just adds to the frustration I'm having. The other night he sent me a text message that said 'call me when you're off, k." I called him when I got it because we had just talked and I don't work. So I think that he meant to send it to someone else and since his phone is messed up he sent it to me. And then he tried to say that he meant to say..before you go to bed, and that the k was for my name. I told him usually k is for ok. So this just adds to the suspiscion I am having about him. I really like him and he always comes back to me when we fight. What should I do? Should I get rid of him?

Answer 1

He may be hiding something from you but there's hardly anyway to know for sure. I've learnt from prior experience that asking a guy to look into his phonebook is not the best idea. my ex and I were like that with each other and after we broke up I realized that is was due to a big trust issue. You should trust each other enough to not want to look into each other's phone etc. I know sometimes you do wanna know but I would have rather waited until he is doing something else to take a peek than to ask him to look thru his phone. Now that you have asked him to look thru his phone he knows that u suspect something. Never let a guy know too soon when u suspect something you should just catch them off guard. Anyway he is not going to tell you who that person was so you will have to do ur own little investigation. But just be discreet with it because if u find out he really was telling the truth after all it will jsut make it worse. You should really think about the reason there is a trust issue in the relationship because like I said from previuos experience this stuff will come back up again.

I just saw the last part of ur question about the text message. yeah he definitely is hiding something. You have already asked him openly about it and he denied so just don't ask him anything more and let him beleieve that you are over the issue. I think you really should consider leaving him but if you want that extra good feel of catchin him in the act do your own little detective work on his cheating behind. good luck girl!

Answer 2

I like your opening line. It bespeaks of the seriousness of your relationship with this guy. Then over a silly cell number and a misdirected text (both unproven), your trust level went from 100 to 0....frankly I don't understand that. What exactly do you want him to do to prove that he's telling the truth? Isn't his word good enough anymore? Had there been other instances where his credibility was an issue?

You're angry right now...whether your anger is warranted or not, it is clouding your judgment. So calm down and stay cool. When you're no longer mad, you would know exactly what to do.

Answer 3

Well, he is clearly lying to you. And that is not good in any relationship. But neither is paranoia. If my bf took my phone and told me he wanted to look at it to make sure i wasn't talking to anyone else, I would tell him to F off whether I was being faithful or not. Sounds like you need to maybe work on feeling more secure about yourself and then find someone who will also make you feel that way as well in a relationship.

But the short and sweet is get rid of him. He's lying.

Answer 4

If you see marriage with this guy, then you should learn to trust him. Try to not worry about who he's talking to or who he's with, and have faith that he isn't going behind your back on things. His reaction was not the best for the situation, but he may have been saving him for having to explain an akward convo with an ex or some other friend.

However, if this sort of thing is recurring where he continually keeps things from you hidden, then you should not tolerate that and definitely consider ending the relationship.

Answer 5

Listen, by his ACTIONS he is cheating on you. The name he skipped over, the text, the denials. By his WORDS he could be. The denials, getting defensive, etc.

If you know the name, do you recognize it? If you don't know it or don't recognize it, try to find out who it is (preferably through dipsh!t), and confront her, in a FRIENDLY WAY. No threats or violence. Just ask her about him. Ask her if he's with anyone, ask her how she knows him, etc. DON"T TELL HER YOU"RE HIS G/F.

If you can't get to HER, talk to his friends; they might know. But be wary; they may alert him or lie for him.

If none of those are possible, listen to your heart. Do you trust him? Fully, completely? If so, try not to worry.

If he IS cheating, and you love him THAT much, talk to him about it. get him to stop, or to realize what it's doing to you and the relationship.

I sincerely hope you straighten this out. Good luck.

~WolfMage

Answer 6

I'd definitely ask him about the nature of the relationship. Are you both there for the same reason? Is he serious? Does he believe in monogamy? Trust is a big issue in any relationship. Good luck.

Answer 7

I don´t think u should have a serious relationship with
a guy which u suspect is cheating on u.
Nevertheless it´s all up to u.
What do you choose to believe, is the question u should be
asking ur self.

Answer 8

ask yourself this, what is it that he have that you want???? is he helping you, getting you closer to your goals? is he supporting you verbally daily?, does he tell you "i love you" daily, does he do things that you would like a bf to do?? does he give you stress?? and yes is it something you would like a bf to have? come on, be honst, thats a stupid question to ask, but if i were you, right now is not the time to think about getting marry, what are you thinking inside your head, grow up and focus about getting your life together, go accomplish your goals and things you want in life, then go find yourself a real man, that dont lie to you, and dont walk away then things are bad. good luck!!

Answer 9

i have gone through the same thing that you're going through. i thought he was seeing another girl, so we just stopped the relationship right there. but that wasn't the only reason why we broke up. but, i think, you should just stop the relationship right there and wait a while until this thing blows over.

Answer 10

honesty and trust are key issues in any relationship! it sounds like you have good reason to be suspicious. my personal philosophy is that if you cant trust who you are with, than dont be with them. simple as that. and since you are doubting his fidelity its for a reason, find someone more deserving of you