will god get chuck norris to kill satan?
2007-03-26 12:15:10 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
He doesn't need him:
Rev 18-22
2007-03-26 12:18:49 · answer #1 · answered by robert p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea and verily..."and God doth spake : Get me that kick a** dude with the gnarly beard." And the ArchAngel Michel did go forth and lay hands on Chuck Norris and spake with him thusly : "Dude, the guy upstairs wants you to go kick Satans a** man." And verily Chuck Norris did go forth to do battle with the Prince of Darkness. But they wound up kicking it at a little road house outside of Dallas with a few beers and some honeys. And thus was Armageddon avoided for another day.
or something....
what you wanted good freakin' prose ? What am I freakin Mark Twain or somethin ?? Jeez...
2007-03-26 19:24:10 · answer #2 · answered by Telemachus R 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Satan is like the top tier Angel trained in the best martial arts from the most dangerous places on earth. He invented half of them. Chuck Norris sold his soul to him so he could be top tier. He isn't kicking his butt, he's kissing it. Besides, why would God want Satan killed? No one would respect his power so he has to maintain the status quo.
2007-03-26 19:36:41 · answer #3 · answered by Rothwyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, He's got angels to do that (Revelation 12:7-12, 20:3). Though at the very final judgement, its not stated who specifically is going to rid the universe of Satan, only that he will be done in once and for all (Revelation 20:7-10).
2007-03-26 19:28:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could kill the lowlife scab. The idiot scumbag hasn't any powers of his own the twerpy moron just uses what he can from each individual that is unaware that the power that makes witchcraft and the like, work is the power God gives each one of us. I was a wiccan witch for a time and I observed how the spells I would cast only affected people of low or no belief in God. However it had absolutely no affect whatsoever on true Christians. And I could never figure that out until God revealed the fact that it was because the power comes from God and He will not let it Harm one of His.
In the Bible it states that we are given power and authority above all the power that the enemy possesses and nothing shall in any way harm us. And if you put two and two together you not only have four but the reason for it. Take care and may GOD bless you.
2007-03-26 19:26:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
No. Mister Rogers has been proven to have the ability to Kick Chuck's asteroids. Mister Rogers will pwn satan (while wearing a blood-stained sweater).
2007-03-26 19:20:55 · answer #6 · answered by Dharma Nature 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you believe the chuckster is 67? Born in the year of the Dragon, 1940, along with the renowned Bruce Lee.
He does appear to have some right wing/republican overtones, so he'd be just the right guy to fight and prevail over an imaginary being, eh? :))
2007-03-26 19:21:05 · answer #7 · answered by drakke1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. God uses Satan to bugger the non-lbelievers, kind of like the Mob has muscle to break the legs of shop owners that don't make their protection payments on time.
2007-03-26 19:19:24 · answer #8 · answered by Michael da Man 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, I don't think so but of he does use someone its going to be someone faithful religious and serves him very well
In the bible it says he chain him up and cause destruction on the earth after he gets all the saved people in heaven.
2007-03-26 19:27:37 · answer #9 · answered by baby2love95 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, GOD's agonna do it.
BUT, I would like to too!
If it were possible, I'd help out ole Chuck kick that thing, beat it in the head--SmasH it in the ribs- one two --one two chung ho and samari and thirteen other japenees words!
(ole chuck would have to show me some things first! hahaha).
Ditto.....................
2007-03-26 19:26:00 · answer #10 · answered by maguyver727 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chuck can kick his a s s and then some.
2007-03-26 19:41:34 · answer #11 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋