My boyfriend cheated on me..?

Question

My boyfriend cheated on me while I was away for a month. I didn't find out until about 5 months later after the whole ordeal had ended. He says he wanted to tell me but he didn't want to hurt me. He says he loves me and can't live without me. he says it was the biggest mistake of his life and if he could take it all back he would. He says he was distant from God, but now he is trying to build a relationship with him and is really trying to change. he wants to give our relationship another try. This is my question. I've known for a month and have learned to accept it, and I have forgiven him, but I cannot forget. And I don't know if I can move on because everytime I look at him or try to get close to him I am reminded of how he hurt me. I love him, but I don't know if I can totally get passed it because I still find it hard to believe that he could ever do this to me. I've been trying to be really close to God and have prayed and asked Him to help me move on. should I try to work it out

Sorry.. I meant..I've been praying for God to help me be at peace with the whole situation..and move on from it so I don't constantly have to dwell on it. I really don't want to always have this on my mind. But it's a lot harder than I realized

here's the twist...the situation is actually reversed...I'm the one that cheated on him..

Answer 1

You need to ask God to reveal through His Word and Spirit if that guy is the one. Pray and fast and see if God wants him for you, He will give you the capacity and ability to forgive and forget. But if you want God to forgive you, you need to forgive him.

Don't let the devil play with your emotions..he's good at that.

Answer 2

You have done well to forgive him, but there is no way you can be expected to forget. The question now is trust- just because you have forgiven him, doesn't mean you trust him not to hurt you again. Without knowing him, I can say that you should definitely take your time with this relationship. It's easy for him to say he's "building a relationship with God" if he thinks that is what will get him back in your good graces. He should understand that you need time to regain your faith in him. I hope that he is sincere.

Answer 3

Time will heal all wounds as another poster said.

However, if you are not going to trust him or you have this "eewwww" feeling when he tries to cuddle, then you should leave him alone. Let's not waste anyone's time. If you don't trust him, you don't have a relationship.

You will know if a man is truly sorry by observing him over TIME. There is no quicker way. Just like scripture says you'll know what kind of tree it is (good or bad) by the fruit it bears, you'll know what kind of man you have by what kind of fruit he bears. If he's loving, always available, faithful, reliable, etc then you have good fruit. However, if he's often MIA(missing in action) never answers your calls, or only calls after 11pm, doesn't want to go out in public, etc.. Then you need to find another tree.

Hope this helps :) Peace and blessings!!

Answer 4

the two of you are not married--so there is no reason for you to try and move past this, you should leave him. find someone who can treat you with respect, and who doesn't make you hurt everytime you look at him for his selfish, cruel, dishonest and disrepectful actions. he chose to cheat on you--he chose to hurt you and to lie to you, it has nothing to do with not being close to god and everything to do with his own selfishness. why would you want someone that does that? you should find someone who takes full responsibility for their actions *while they're doing them* not partial responsiblity 5 months later.

edit: well, why did you cheat? imo, if someone cheats it's because the relationship is dead and no one knows it yet. it has to be because you weren't getting something you needed, or you're just plain selfish. and to expect to be forgiven for such a betrayal is too much to ask for the majority of people. it would have been better had you just dumped him, then gone out & found someone to play with. at least that would have been honest. but apparently you aren't good at that either since you lied on here also, so i bet if he's smart he will never trust you again.

Answer 5

My motto is, if he cheats get rid of the bum. That is me. If you can live with this guy who may or may not cheat on you every time you go out of town then forgive and forget. If you can forgive then you must forget or you will never be happy. If your boyfriend is trying to get closer to God then give him time to do that before you continue with the relationship. Trust me, Love, another good man will come along. I can't stand cheating and myself I would rather live alone than with a cheater.

Answer 6

If you've been praying for help in moving on, and you aren't making any progress, then perhaps you are praying for the wrong thing. Maybe you might try praying to be at peace with all that has occurred.

Answer 7

Try to work it out. Don't ask God to help you move on, or you'll never find the strength to do anything yourself. Just remember that you're human and he's human and people make mistakes. Don't let him get off easy or anything though.

Answer 8

Dump that jerk-off. I know plenty of guys that call themselves "perfect Christians" yet cheat on girls like it's no big deal. I'm sorry, but that's just how some guys are.

Answer 9

man , thats somthing only u can decide .. i doubt it will ever b the same again and u should prolly try to peacefully move on ..i would tell him that u cant live with that myself ...but again only u can decide .. if u do stay with him then let it go all the way.

Answer 10

So... you're praying to god that you can move on and forget that you cheated on him?

Wanna hook up?