help with cutting?

Question

im a previous cutter and i used to do it allllll the time maybe 5 times a day for about 3 years. i finally stoped when i met my boyfriend of 4 months now. and yea im and super happy with him and we are thinkin about gettin an apartment togher but ever now and then i get the urge to cutt and lately they have been getting stronger can anyone tell me how to try and get rid of those urges or make them less trong without cutting?

Answer 1

Here are some excerpts from previous similar questions that I've answered that you may find helpful:

There are multiple reasons why people self-mutilate and each case needs to be explored individually. The most common reason is that it occurs in order to induce a dissociative state and assists people who have been traumatized with achieving a state of emotional numbness and you hear it described as soothing for them. The physiological basis for it stems from the release of endorphins-the brain's natural painkillers-which function much like opiates and dull the experience of emotional pain. Other reasons include the opposite rationale-people who feel numb emotionally and who have shut down will self-mutilate in order to feel something and remember they are alive. Others do it for self-punishment and feel relief from guilt or shame and see the letting of blood as a way to purge themselves of guilt. It may be a way of re-enacting and attempting to master early traumatic experiences This often happens during a dissociative state where people are recalling experiences which were traumatizing and they feel a need to punish/purge themselves for what they often mistakenly believe they have done wrong. There are also folks who do it as a way to cope with unrelenting chronic physical pain from other sources as it creates an alternative pain that distracts them from the chronic pain (think of the principle behind how a TENS unit works). In more rare instances it can be a response to psychotic states where folks are responding to command hallucinations or believe they are purging themselves from some evil inside them. There are other less common reasons, depending on the form of self-mutilation (eye enucleation, castration, etc.) that tend to be symbolic in nature. But most commonly it is done in response to increased feelings of tension with which the individual cannot cope and it becomes a way for them to dissociate their emotional pain and achieve an emotional numbing. The goal of treatment is to fully understand the reasons that sustain the behavior and in the latter case (the most common) to help people develop affect tolerance and the ability to cope with and soothe their emotional pain in healthier ways.

I'm a therapist and I agree with all the folks here who speak from personal experience that you need to speak with a professional that can help you explore healthier alternatives. The longer you wait, the harder it gets, so please seek some assistance. Cutting really only works for a while and eventually it'll lose it's charm and you may find yourself cutting deeper and more often in order to achieve the same effect.

Just a couple of ideas to help get you started-try to stop in small steps. Set yourself a goal to not cut for a certain time period and when you've mastered that, set yourself a goal to refrain for longer periods, depending on how frequently you are cutting. Take it one day, one hour at a time if necessary. You can do this with each episode when you feel the impulse to cut in order to increase your self-control each time you feel the desire. What you'll also find is that as you go for longer and longer periods of time without giving in to the urge to cut, you'll become more aware of all your feelings and what is driving them and therapy can really help you to understand it better and give you options to consider. Ultimately you need to make a choice to stop the behavior or it won't stop. But for starters, try making a choice to refrain for a little longer than usual and challenge yourself to extend the time for longer and longer intervals. Setting a goal to stop can be daunting, but breaking it down into steps usually works and it allows you gradual access to your emotions so you can learn alternate methods of coping a little at a time.

Also, remove and get rid of all the things with which you regulary cut. Many people have certain items they use all the time and it becomes like a ritual. Removing these things will help you gain delay time by not having them readily accessible. It won't prevent you from getting other objects, but it will decrease the likelihood that you'll act on impulse alone.

Another option that has worked for some folks is to take a doll or stuffed animal that you love and cut it instead and then stitch it up or bandage it. It allows you to vent your feelings, but also helps you recognize and empathise with the pain you are inflicting by doing this and that in turn helps develop understanding towards yourself and gives you an opportunity to engage in actions designed to help heal the hurt. Loving something else, even a stuffed animal, is often a path towards learning to love and care for yourself.

Rubber bands, drawing a red line with a marker or ice are substitutes and some folks do find this helpful, but ultimately you need to break away from the cycle of causing yourself pain in order to numb up your emotions.

One other thought to consider. What you experience when you cut is really more like relief from pain than it is like truly feeling happy. The absence of pain is not the same as feeling happy, so don't settle for less than really being happy. Good luck!!!!

Answer 2

Im Getting Over Cutting.7 Year Cutter. I Have Someone That Helps Me Out So Much.Thanks Babe!! Do You Have This Book? Cutting Understanding & Overcoming Self-Mutilation. Its By: Steven Levenkron.Its A Very Good Book Its Really Helped Me..YOU CAN DO THIS......xoxo.

Answer 3

cutting is about a few things. First..control..You wield all the control over your "pain" you focus it...you make it happen..you stop it.
secondly...it is about masking other pain, mental pain..that you cannot deal with.
It is -awesome- that you are happy with your boyfriend, and I am sure if you told him about this problem he would want to help. It is important to talk to him, to friends...family, and as said before perhaps even seek professional help.
Obviously you were strong enough to quit, Huzzah for you. that is a big step, and shows me that you have the strength not to start cutting again.
A suggestion also...every time you get this urge..go do something physical but useful..clean house..work out..even just go out and walk. Think about the things going on when you feel that urge, and how you might take care of those thoughts/feelings/problems in a productive way.

Answer 4

First of all I think it would be wise for you to go to a mental health clinic see a Psychiatrist( for possibly medications) and have the Dr. recommend a good talk therapist for you. You need to get to the root of why you cut. Once you understand why you cut then you can work on stopping the cutting.

Answer 5

You need to speak with a doctor about this. This is not something that is just going to go away on its own, no matter how happy you are. Cutting is a symptom of an underlying issue you need to deal with. Speak to a professional before you do serious harm to yourself.

Answer 6

i'm going to tell you something. a lot of my friends who always seem all bubbly and happy cut. some have even tried suicide attempts.i get really scared. they all cover up their unhappiness and it makes me sad that i can't help them as much as i would want to. but just look to god and think of all the people who will be unhappy just because you're unhappy. just think of times that you've pushed through a bad time and try to do the same. i mean, why ruin the happiness you and your boyfriend have, i mean yopu're not depressed anymore so tr not to think about cutting. hopefully, this helps a little.

hope you get through this,


Reshma

Answer 7

It just takes dedication. I wouldn't suggest seeing a councilor. You probably know the stupid councilor rutine. They always say the same thing that you hear over and over and it doesn't help in many situations. I'd suggest enlisting help from your friends and boyfriend, and family. I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful.

Answer 8

keep a close relationship with God, if oyu beleive in Him. then you can ask him for help, and you'll feel like you aren't on your own. also, put a rubber band around your wrist, so if you ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO CUT, you can just snap the rubber bands and get a similar relief. good luck, and STAY STRONG!

Answer 9

Rub ice wherever it is you are wanting to cut...if you like seeing the blood, you could use red food coloring..I have never personally used the food coloring..but I seen someone do that once when they wanted to see the blood..

Answer 10

Therapy.

Answer 11

rubbing ice on the area you want to cut, writing on yourself, writing your thoughts down and burning them, cutting something that isn't yourself, talking to somebody (if you can), exercise, anything that will take over your mind and keep your mind off cutting, music works great for me. good luck, don't cut.