Girls what one liners has your bloke said to you that has had you crying with laughter?!!?

Question

its hard to make my girlfriend laugh cuz im a shy person.

Please dont say just be yourself cuz i tried that and im boring!

Sorry i ment to say not pick up lines, i ment just funny/stupid one liners

Answer 1

i was joking that he was in trouble and will have to pay the consequences

he said
"don't threaten me with a good time"

Answer 2

When we started dating, my guy got lost and ended up in a back alley.
When I asked what was going on, he said:
"I'm taking you back here to kill you."
(Total granny-driver, both hands on the steering wheel, always drives about 5 under the speed limit, considerate and polite).


I thought: "Either this guy is for real and what a good cover, to go out and say it (unlikely), or he really does think that women will find that line might work, and he's a moron, which is rather adorable, in a way."

We're married, so I guess it worked. But I don't think it's advisable for most.

Just commenting about things you see around you is funny. Look for the absurdity in any given situation.
And when in doubt, you can quote movies, etc., although that can get old if you do it all of the time. It's contextual - you can't bust out with random one-liners- it has to have something to do with what you're doing,otherwise it looks like a one-liner.

My favorite one-liners are references to jokes already discussed or in common knowledge,for the most part. Really, whatever you think is funny, unless it's likely to completely offend her, works. And face it, if you don't have compatible senses of humor, it's gonna be a short trip either which way.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Unfortunately a lot of one liners are off the cuff and very hard to replicate (although not impossible). You shouldn't feel shy with her though and if she thought you were boring why would she go out with you

Answer 4

I had Mrs Spawn chuckling the other night. She was reading when I came up to bed and said "I don't want to go to bed."

"Why not?" she asked. "'Cos my hair looks great right now," I replied, so she started singing: "You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you...."

"Not likely," I said, "if it were about me it'd be in tune!"

She tried to act all miffed and unamused but then got a fit of the giggles.

Answer 5

Do you have a Bandaid? Cause I just scraped my knee falling for you.

and

Hi, I'm the new Milkman do you want it in the front or the back?

i know they dont sound funny but when he said them i dieddd

Answer 6

them trousers/skirt your wearing look great but would look even better on my bedroom floor
here is 30p to go ring your mum your not going home tonight
my bloke said these to me and i was in fits of laughter.

Answer 7

maybe she doesnt want you to be funny she might just like being romanced and knowing your there for her my boyfirend is always telling jokes but to tell you the truth that gets boring i would rather he was serious and answered my questions properly

Answer 8

"your eyes are blue like the ocean and baby im lost at see"
and
"Baby are your feet tired cause youve been walkin through my mind all day"

Answer 9

This is an old favorite:

Start making a noise like a weird siren. When she asks you what you're doing, say that you're waiting for the fire trucks to come to put out your heart because she set it on fire.

Answer 10

r u sure u're boring? if she told u that u r boring, she's not really ur girlfriend. dump her. she duznt even like u for who u r.