I attended my grandad's funeral today and i was more nervous about meeting the other members of my family than actually laying him to rest. My mother and i haven't spoke for nearly three years due to my ex-boyfriend and all the trouble that he caused. I made amends with my mum but things have never been the same. She sufffers from MS and i know she needs her family around her especially at this time. Today i felt like an outsider and was made to feel that i wasn't meant to be there. Not by my mother though, but by aunts, uncles and grandmother. I am suffering because of my exes hurt and trouble he caused towards my family. I don't want to feel this way any more but i dtill do after all this time. Help your answers would be much appreciated!!
2007-03-26 10:55:50 · 10 answers · asked by x SexySian x 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Give your mum a call or better still go and visit her, you say she has ms, why don't you ask if you are welcome to visit and if so slowly rebuild your relationship with your mum
don't worry about the others if it is meant to be then it will work its self out
good luck
2007-03-27 00:15:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We can choose our friends and who we date but we cant choose our family!
Family problems are based around expectations from others who expect more from you than you can give or want too..
Families usually have your best interest at heart however when we date someone the only interest we have is for that person, we dont consider those around us who it could implicate especially if they have negative influnce around those we love.
Your ex has gone from ur life now and for a good reason i am sure! I think it is you who feels some resentment towards what he did to you and your family which in turn is making you feel the way your feeling towards them! Try to relax and accept some constructive cristism from those who love you. It should help you accept the situation a bit better! We move on.. Friends and bf sometimes move on but our families are there no matter.. I hope this helps.. sorry to hear about ur grandad.
2007-03-26 11:05:10 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Love 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Family relationships aren't what they're cracked up to be. I think it's because family members develop unrealistically high expectations of each other. Your own expectation that your family will forgive and forget is probably too high. All you can do is let it be known you're available. You then can wait for them to react or not react. You seem like a nice person. If your family can not appreciate that, I'm sure others will.
2007-03-26 12:10:53 · answer #3 · answered by jackbutler5555 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't tell you why families have to be so complicated. I just know that most are if you dig deep enough. We just laid my cousin to rest and at the viewing there were so many family members that half didn't know the other half and there was alot of antagonism there. I was surprised there wasn't a fight.
in my family, my sister stopped at nothing until she got my brothers children taken from him. she lied, stold and bribed people to be witnesses against him. and do you know why? because she wanted him and his family to spend the weekend with her and her family and he wouldn't do it.
So, if I were you, I would be there for your mother and if the others can't come to terms with things than I think they are losing out on a very precious thing in their lives---That would be you.
2007-03-26 13:40:23 · answer #4 · answered by angel1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you could heal the wounds by sending each member of your family a lovely card (possibly with a picture a red rose?) & say in that card, how much you love them, value them, miss them & want them in your life. Apologise for what's happened - keep it really simple! Sign your name, post them & hope.
I know I couldn't resist a card like that. That should be enough to melt any heart.
If it fails to work, rest easy! You've done your best...
2007-03-26 11:37:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are tied to family by blood and history that goes back to our birth. If we have a row with a friend & fall out we move on & forget about it - but with family there are always ties. Just becasue they are family doesn't mean that you actually like them - you don't choose your family but you can choose your friends. you just have to try to get along with them as best you can & if there is one you really don't like, don't worry about it - try to live your own life. You should try to have a reaonable relationship with your parents though if they were good to you when you were growing up. They may need you to be good to them when they are older.
2007-03-26 11:01:23 · answer #6 · answered by FC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what you mean, sippose its cos we cant dont choose our families, we are just landed with them.
thje thing to hang on to is your mum is still there for you, i bet she forgives any little slight or hurt that you or your ex may have caused. are your uncles and aunts so clean they dont have any guilty stuff?
2007-03-30 05:12:47 · answer #7 · answered by fat momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry i cant understand why they are still punishing you they need to get over it before its too late you shouldnt be to blame for someone elses mistakes
2007-03-26 11:00:09 · answer #8 · answered by washerwoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just concentrate on rebuilding your relationship with your Mum.
2007-03-26 11:03:10 · answer #9 · answered by RAINBOW 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sexy s dont blame any body else you went along with your ex what you have to do now is see things the way you see them don,t expect open arms but you can expect tjhat you made a mistake sexy i,m getting pissed now you only hhav one life enjoy it good luck tarra
2007-03-26 11:10:37 · answer #10 · answered by Ken M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋