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i have been with this guy for over a year. but the relationship isn't going anywhere. he doesn't spend hardly any time with me. we have drifted apart. but i love him. and he doesn't let go. and it's so hard for me to let him go. how can i just tell him it's over. i gave him chances to try to change or make an effort to save our relationship and says he's going to. but doesn't do anything. so im at the point where i just want to be happy. and im not with him. should i stick it out? or let him go? and how do i do it? easier said than done. but would love sum suggestions

2007-03-26 10:51:05 · 33 answers · asked by prchik 5 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

33 answers

if your feeling this way than you should let him go cause your wasting your time and his time trying to make something work that isn't. its not going to be easy but just tell him how you feel. i know he's going to try to convince you to stay because he's going to say that he's going to change but you have to say no that you've given him many chances and things are still the same. that your no longer happy with him and things is just better this way.. or maybe tell him that you need a break and see if thats what you really want.

2007-03-26 10:56:34 · answer #1 · answered by Blake 3 · 0 0

"so im at the point where i just want to be happy. and im not with him"

That should be a major red flag for you. Although it might sound selfish, if you're not happy, what's the point of putting yourself through that? Also, no one should be in a relationship with someone if the other person doesn't feel the same way about them or if that other person is just 'sticking it out' as you put it. You would want your signif. other to feel the same way about you too right?

I think it's in both of your best interests to let this relationship go. You can still love someone and care about them but not be in a relationship with him.

You should just sit him down and explain to him what you said to us, that you think you've drifted apart and even though you said that you will do things to save our relationship, I don't think that that's going to be anytime soon and I just want to be happy now - or something along those lines.

Good luck.

2007-03-26 10:56:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If your not going anywhere you should just tell him. Sounds like your really care for him. Thats good. It may seem hard at first but you two could stay friends and be happy for each other. The time has come to be happy and your not happy. I know a friend who been with a guy for a long time. She's just like you. In a relationship thats going no where and she hadn't had the guts to end it. I say don't be like her. Be strong for you and let the guy know how you feel. In the end both of you two will be better off in the end.

2007-03-26 10:59:15 · answer #3 · answered by Hot asain mama 2 · 0 0

It's not enough for you to just tell him, though that's a good start.
What you should do is, of course, let him know it's over. Then start dating other people.
If you don't feel like being serious with anyone new for a while, that's fine. The idea is to convey your seriousness to your friend/ex. What keeps you from getting into trouble here is to let these new people you're going out with that you're just comeing out of a serious relationship and that you only want to date, not get involved in anything deep right away.

Good Luck.

2007-03-26 10:57:31 · answer #4 · answered by M R 2 · 0 0

Life is too short if you are not feeling it. If you have to ask if you should let it go, you probably should. You know that old saying goes "if you love someone set them free". Well its your life, and time is sooo precious. You don't have to cut him out of your life entirely, just let him know that you want to keep your options open. He will get the point. Or you could be blunt (guys understand this best) and tell him that you love him, but you need more that he can give you.

I know its hard, but you'll feel better for being honest with yourself and with him. I wish you all the best and here is to your bright future:)

2007-03-26 11:00:02 · answer #5 · answered by Dig Girl 1 · 0 0

Everyone's been there at some point. You don't want to be mean but you want things finalized. Tell him what you said here..."drifted apart, want both to be happy..." and everything else that's on your mind. Decide whether or not you'll stay with him if he refuses to let go & stick to your guns if he says he doesn't want to break up or else the cycle will never end. Be positive about it, but stay away & keep busy or you'll probably end up hooking up with him again.

2007-03-26 10:57:39 · answer #6 · answered by H 1 · 0 0

First of all if you love him why would you want to run from this problem? You contradict yourself and you will probably not be happy with your decision.

Take him to a couples therapist...and see what the root cause of the problem is....you may find that you are even more attracted to a man that is waiting for you to open yourself up and not be afraid and vice versa....

Never give up on love it is too precious of a gift to throw away.

2007-03-26 10:55:54 · answer #7 · answered by tito_swave 4 · 0 0

i find it's easier just to say a big fat f-u as it's harsh and you dont have to deal with the crying and moaning nd all of the other stuff involoved tell him he had his chance and this ship has sailed peace beotch...lol yea in my dreams thats what i'd do really you just need to tell him you want a break and dont allow your self to be talked out of it , and the good thing with the break is your not with him so you can shop around as well as give him a chance to get his crap together, as in the ball is in his court if he makes no effort then your done with him and your already roken up so you dont have to deal with the whole break up thing it's an easier transition than just flat out breaking up as well as is he actually dose do somthing to change then you can take him back and be happy but honestly i think he'll whine about the on a break thing then do nothing to get you back after you go on this break it really sounnds to me as if he has no long term intrest with you so do your life a favour get on with this so you can get on with your life

2007-03-26 11:02:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If you don't see yourself going any where then get rid of him. It's hard but you have to do whats best for you and your life. Sometimes when you love someone you have to let them go.... Keep your thoughts focused on what you want out of life when & if you break up with him and it will all work out. Good Luck! Sometimes love stinks.

2007-03-26 10:56:27 · answer #9 · answered by prissymama 3 · 0 0

well, how much time exactly does he spend with you? i have been married for four years. me and my husband don't really go out anymore but we do eat at least one meal together a day . you say you love him, but it does'nt sound like you are very happy. sounds like maybe there is someone else you would be happier with. if so , the only fair thing for both of you, is to part ways. talk to him, maybe he does'nt realize there is a real problem.

2007-03-26 11:02:03 · answer #10 · answered by sarah 5 · 0 0

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