Husband Family? Dad past away.?

Question

For all of you who help with my question thank you.
Everytime we have a problem is with his sisters, and I tried to take care of it on my own but it only gets worse. I don't want be mean and he tells me to go him before I approach his sisters but when I do he tells me he doesn't need this in his life right now. I have no problem with his mom living with me, is the sister, I'm the only one who works in the house and she doesn't get the point that bills needs to get paid, and yet I don't want anymore problem with my husband but I feel that he's putting his family needs over mine, And I feel that she's using her father's death as an excuse not to work or go to school but yet she goes and parttys. What can I do in a nice way to explain to him how I feel, because It's not fair that I'm the only one providing for our family, and yet I feel like an outsider in my own home...

Answer 1

Depending on the type of relationship you and your husband have I guess sitting him down someplace where it is just the two of you and laying your feelings out on the table would be the best. Think about what you have to say before doing it. Again this depends on how the two of you have cooresponded with one another in the past. If he is the type of person who flies off the handle easily then you may need to approach the situation differentyly.

Good luck

Answer 2

Is your husband contributing to the bills as well? Do the family members make other contributions, such as helping with laundry and cooking and household chores? If not, let them know that since you are working full time, you would appreciate help in those areas. Talk to your husband when he is in a good mood, make sure he isn't hungry or had a bad day or feeling grouchy. Try to get him in a neutral place, outside of the home, and let him know how it is making you feel. Don't accuse or blame. Give examples, like, "when your sister doesn't help with bills and goes out and parties, it makes me feel" and then explain. I hope things work out for you.

Answer 3

Hello Monica, I think you are correct in believing that your husbands sister should be working and providing somthing towards your family's expences, What I do not understand is why your husband does not understand this too. If she lives with you then she knows this, but is using your husband's refusal to do anything about it to Justify her lazyness. It is he who should Deal with it. I can understand a time of mourning for a lost one, and all of us go thru that . However we do not say we are still mourning the loss one day and PARTY the next. This is just her way of getting her brother to allow her to lay around and leach a living from those that work in your household. How Old Is She 10? Your husband may not know what to do about the situation and just says not to bother him because he does not want to see her on the street. However he does need to say something to her ,to get her to realize that she will have more self respect and privacy if she is on her own. She could live there also but at least provide her own expences. You should introduce her to a guy so she could then marry and move in with him LOL. I understand your problem totally1. My X wife, her sister and her mother all were living in my home. When they first moved in all of them were not working so I offered to pay for them to go to nurseing school. first her Mom went and graduated, she got a job right away, same with my sister in law, and then my wife. Although they had jobs, none of them offered to repay me or provide any input to our families income. Then one day my wife and I got into an argument, shortly all three of them were yelling at me!! That is the Day I cleared out MY house. I do not usually cus but I did that day, I hope your husband will listen to you soon to keep a peaceful home or from loosing the main income produceing person of your home! Best of Luck.

Answer 4

It's your home too and you need to take it back over! Tell his sister that she needs to get a job or find somewhere else to live! You should not have to go to your husband to talk to YOUR sister-in -law! Put your foot down and tell your husband that she gets a job or gets out that this is YOUR home as well as his and you are tired of supporting his sister! That YOU don't need this in YOUR life!! So what if he gets mad, he'll just have to get over it!! You are his wife and are supposed to come BEFORE ANYONE ELSE including his Mom and Sister!!! If you don't stand up for yourself, nobody else will!!

Answer 5

I think you might need some outside support on this.

Do you belong to a church in your community?
If so I highly recommend you talk to your pastor.
Dealing with family is often hard let alone in- laws that live in your home.

I would not be happy about supporting my husbands family esp. if I was not consulted about it first.

Is your husband not working?
How old is the sister who can go party and not work?
She should not be living in your home to begin with.

I think you need to get help with this one because it will almost without any cause turn into a you against them argument.

Answer 6

sounds like you are in a very stressful situation. sounds like you have been a very supportive wife to take in his family like this. does your husband not work either? i noticed you said that you are the only one providing for your family. my first suggestion would be to tell your husband how stressed you are and that as much as you love his family that you can not take this, and you should'nt have to, but it sounds like you have already had a discussion like that with little benefit, if talking to her sister only causes a fight, in which he is on his sister's side, then maybe it is time for an ultimatum. let him know it's either you or his sister, tell him you love him but you can't go on like this. maybe he will see what his family is doing to you, and hopefully he loves you enough to change something. good luck. i know that can't be an easy situation, but if you ever need someone to vent to, feel free to im me.

Answer 7

Go to a very private place and have a long talk with your husband. You have a major problem that sounds like it's way out of hand.

Answer 8

First pray about, it's sounds like you're doing the best you can, sometimes people don't want to accept the truth. They are using you, if someone else doesnt get out or get a job, you set a deadline, if they don't meet it, leave. Bail out, get your own place, you can always find a new man. A real man would'nt want his wife support him anyway. You deserve better.

Answer 9

Tell your husband to get a job and bring in some money to support his family.

Answer 10

just tell him exactly how you feel and what you wrote here. and your right you shouldn't be the only one working and paying the bills, I know its hard. but if he doesn't want to listen. leave for a while and let them figure how they going to make ends meet. without your paying the bills and that. good luck.