I'm discouraged now ... I was led on and probably played.?

Question

I was really attracted to this guy. We are both the same age (35) and there seemed to be a big attraction between us. We dated about 3 weeks. Which I know doesn't seem like a long time but we did a lot. He was the first guy I dated after being cheated on by my X-boyfriend of 8 years (we broke up 6 mths. ago). Well, the new guy hasn't returned my calls and I'm not calling anymore. I don't understand why he hasn't. We ended our last date really nicely.
Guys, why do you do this? Lead a girl on, make her feel like a queen, and then drop her (with OR without having sex). It hurts. You might as well take a butter knife and slowly stab it in her heart. I know that's a strong statement, but it's true. It's discouraging to meet other men after you've been lead on and played. It gives the good guys a bad name and makes it hard for the girl to continue to date.
DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVICE? If you don't have anything nice to say, please don't answer.

Answer 1

Well it seems to me that he thinks your sort of on his back but i wouldn't call anymore because he obviosly is playing games and is not ready for a real relationship.

So I would dump him because what he is doing is not what you should see in a guy and that is wrong of him doing what he is doing.

Answer 2

I'm sorry for what your going through...I too have been going through the same thing. It can be 3 weeks or 10 months (in my case). The one thing guys don't seem to like is someone who is too available all the time. It's a fine line, but you/we need to not put our total focus on the guy. It's hard to do believe me. When we are always available (by phone, for a spur of the moment date etc.), they feel well I got her & there isn't the challenge anymore. I am not saying to play games...but don't do all the calling or in my case txting. Let them come to you & want you. I get frustrated when we would have such wonderful times (we live 5 hours apart), he loves me, talks about our future together etc., then when we are apart...I almost don't exsist to him. I then start off with a txt asking how he is doing...then when I don't hear back, I get more insecure & my txts get more desperate & a little snotty (just wanting a responce). Well, that hasn't worked for me. When I have quit calling or txting & he hasn't heard from me...he has called with the I love you's. I need to take my own advice...but I know how hard it is when you truly care for someone & you thought he did too & now not a word. I hope some of this helps. I wish you good luck.

Answer 3

Hi

He probably was not the guy for you . Stop calling him because some people love for you to chase them and I stopped doing that a long time ago .

You will meet someone that is better in every way not all men are the same . There are some good ones and some bad ones but just take your time next time around with the next one . Well if he is not returning your calls then that is an indication that he is being a jerk .

Answer 4

I've been in this situation before; a number of events could have led to him not calling, or he got caught up in something else; it's hard to answer. I would move on; honestly. If he winds up calling later and apologizes perfously, I would accept it, but not accept another date from him. I've done that too and the same thing happened twice. I'd go out and meet others and see what happens, but not look into jumping into a relationship just yet, you know? In the dating game, you just have to keep meeting new people to see what happens =) It can seriously take some time =)

Answer 5

I'm a guy but a gril just did the same thing to me, so I know how you feel. The best thing that I have heard to do is, be by yourself for a while and not worry about anyone else, just make new friends and eventually you will meet someone that deserves you

Answer 6

So sorry to hear of your bad times..
He may have had some other woman already and just wanted
a quickie from you....Again, sorry for your hurt..
Do not invest more than 2 - 3 yrs. on a relationship without marriage...Never have kids out of wedlock..
Get a good Pre-Nup before marriage..
Carefully investigate any man before marriage...Credit Report, Previous relationships, education, employment, finances , home etc. etc.
A marriage is a huge investment, treat it as one...
You sound like a lovely woman and a gem for the man that
gets to keep you...

Answer 7

i too, was in a 6 year relationship and was cheated on by my ex boyfriend. i commend you for having enough courage to get out there and experiencing new things, because its not easy.
your story and my story are both very similar. shortly after breaking up with my ex, i started seeing this guy and he gave me hope that there really was life after my ex. we went out every weekend... talked almost everyday and things looked promising. shortly after dating him for 2 months he disappeared. he stopped calling, he stopped texting... stopped EVERYTHING. i was so shattered and confused. I didnt know what had happened and i started to blame myself. could it be that i did something wrong?
over time i was able to evaluate things and truly gain perspective on what it could have possibly been. truth was one, i wasnt ready to date yet, a lot of the feelings i had for my ex were still truly present and i needed to deal with those issues before jumping into the next relationship... and 2 i think guys can sense that kinda stuff.
i think he realized that we were becoming too much of a good thing too fast. and a lot of times when that happens, guys tend to pull away from the situation because they fear woman become to clingy.
sure enough, a couple months past and i heard from him again. were friends, but i dont let things get too serious. truth was, he never had enough guts to call and tell my why he had pulled away and overtime i learned that someone who isnt going to give you the common courtesy of explaining themselves, just isnt worth it. your better off... theres something better out there for you. hang in there... were all pulling for you. =)

Answer 8

I don't really have any advice, but I'm kinda in the same situtation so I feel your pain. I don't get why they quit calling even when everything seems to be going so well. Good Luck!

Answer 9

I understand how you feel. You don't deserve him and he's an asshole for what he did. Don't let him stop you from finding the guy of your dreams. It just wasn't mean't to be. There is a good guy out there for every girl and belive me when he comes you will no its him because your heart won't let you down.

Answer 10

That is horrible. I don't think you should let one guy make you not date anymore or trust anyone. He is just not the right guy for you, good luck :)