3 of my husbands' family members past away within weeks of each other, one been his father, please help?

Question

Two moths ago my father in law past away, two weeks later his grandmother past away too, two weeks after that his uncle gets killed. The problem is his family, my husband hasn't grieved for his father because he feels since he's the only man in his family he has to be strong for his mom since she's staying with us. I have no problem with her since I lover her with all my heart, the problem is with his sister, she is 20 years old, she dosn't work or go to school, I promise my father in law on his grave that I will be there for her and take care of her, but she gets on my last nerve. She's on my laptop all day while I'm at work, she goes into my room grabs my make up and hides it, she can't go to look a job but when Friday or Saturday arrives she's the first one to go clubbing. What ticks me off is that she goes into my room and gets my things and creates problems with me and my husband, Am I insensitive to tell him to talk to her, that I know his dad died but life goes on...

Answer 1

I see two things here, your husband needs to grieve for his family members, and he needs to take over as the man of the family. Is there a way for his mother and sister to have a place of their own, not in your home? There is a difference in being there for someone and being an enabler. Take your laptop with you and lock it in the trunk while you are at work. And where does she get her money? You are not obligated to support her financially, she is an adult. And get a lock for the bedroom door.

Answer 2

Right now, her going into your room and hiding your MAKE UP, off all things, is the last thing he wants to hear you whine about. Think about what he is going through and dont make your problem his. YOU go talk to the dang girl and tell her to stop. If she doesnt then put a LOCK on your door or hide your makeup. and (duh) put a PASSWORD on your laptop so she cant get on it. So many simple solutions. Go into her room and take some of her favorite party/clubbing/going out in public shirts or pants and hide them. And say to her "how does it feel" and maybe she'll stop.

Give it a couple more months before you start telling him about your problems.

Answer 3

The only person you can change in this scenario is yourself. From what you have shared...there seems to be a real lack of boundaries-on the sister's part and your own. She does not respect your boundaries yet have you voiced to her what they are? I'd focus on that. Because as stated before-she is acting disrespectful and it isn't hurting her a bit-but you are becoming angry which only hurts you. Nothing will change until you learn how to take care of yourself.

Answer 4

you do no longer might desire to do something, you comprehend. you at the instant are not uncertain approximately your venture; she's the only which is uncertain. you do no longer might desire to agree together with her. you certainly do no longer might desire to win the argument. certainly, there is not any argument besides. She has an opinion, and he or she thinks that there is a magic way so which you would be able to be happy. that's stunning that she needs the stunning for you. You, on the different hand, do no longer might desire to respond. you may purely definite her to dying and not pay to any extent further interest, and purely proceed to love the female. At that element, you notice, that's in her court docket. with a bit of luck she'll purely enable issues flow. And if she sends an digital mail now and back, you do no longer might desire to care approximately it or respond. you comprehend she's incorrect (uh, i assume you do comprehend this, precise?), so purely enable it flow and flow on. If she would be in a position to no longer enable up, it extremely is a different venture, and you will possibly be able to might desire to think of of ways plenty you will take. maximum individuals purely study to stay and enable stay, besides the fact that, so i might shoot for that as my first purpose, and spot if it works out. provide her of venture to run her batteries down....

Answer 5

i lost my brother in law feb 2000 then my mother died unexpededly april 21 2000 then my step dad commited suicide on may 24 2000....i took my baby brother in there are 8 of kids in all 4 girls and 4 boys all of us grown and have kids of our own when all this happened except for baby brother he was 12 i was the only one to step up and take care of him but then he would go to baby sisters house and tell lies on me and cause problems with her and my self and cousin would get involved friends of family would get in volved cause he would tell different ppl different lies on me and other siblings like he was playing us against each other he still does it but not as bad i guess what i am trying to say usually when someone loses someone they love dearly like father or mother they usually act out in a loud way for attention or hurtful because they are hurting and they really dont know how to help them selves if i was you i would have a sister to sister talk with my sister in law and tell her how you feel dont ask your husband to do it even though thats his sister....usually you can approach this situation with alittle of sympathy since you are a female and would feel her pain and try to show her what she needs to do....good luck

Answer 6

You husband first needs to grieve because its not healthy not to and then he needs to talk to his sister she may not be dealing with the loss either like she needs too and you are paying for it

Answer 7

Talk to him about it because obviously she has some major problems because she is messing with you guy's life.

Answer 8

Talk to you husband and insist that she be booted out.