Am I a seflish Cow?????

Question

After taking a few months outta studies coz of personal reasons i wanted to get a job in a pub or club because I used to work in a pub and loved it.

However, my boyfriend said that he didnt want me to get a job in a club because he was worried about me coming out at 2am and something happening to me. He was really insistant, although he knew how much I wanted to get a job cause i wanted to meet people.

And so a couple of months on, I have an interview at a rock venue that has live bands!!! Im so excited (hello dream job for a rock chick!!!) and i get to meet like minded ppl! But he has gone really mad over it... says i am only thinking of himself and if a band goes on till 2am or later that he will have to wait up for me to come in and thats not fair on him because he gets up at 6am for work!!

I am sure he trusts me but he really really thinks i am being unfair.

I have asked him to please trust me.. id never walk around at 4am alone!!

Please Help!!! :O)

Answer 1

I don't think your being a selfish cow. I think your boyfriend is a little insecure. He seems afraid that you will meet some big rock star and start cheating on him. I think your boyfriend needs to learn to trust you more.

Answer 2

No your not being a selfish cow at all!!!!

Its obvious your boyfriend is being very controlling here. Your job sounds like a lot of fun, your meeting new people and enjoying yourself. Your not cheating, or lying to him and you don't seem like the type to stupidly put yourself in danger when travelling home in the morning.

Tell him your a big girl and he doesn't need to sit up and wait for you to come home in the early hours . It sounds like he's feeling a insecure about the idea of you working in a 'party' environment with drunk attractive men chatting you up here and there. He's putting the blame on you, just so that he can hide the real reason why he feels so uncomfortable about this. I guess its only natural for men to think like that....wouldn't you?

But at the end of the day (hate that saying!) your young and if your dream is to meet new people by working in an exciting environment like that..then DO IT and don't let anyone hold you back!!! You go girl!!

Answer 3

It sounds like your BF has some insecurity issues. Being in the service industry is a different world. You serve drinks til about 2am, close up, then drink somewhere else til about 4am then come home after you've had breakfast.

You're not selfish, you just want a fun job. My view is this though....you will have to pick between this job and your boyfriend.

The reality is...your going to get hit on, by customers, the people you work with, as well as the bands. If you're boyfriend worked somewhere, where he was getting hit on that much "just to meet new people", how would you feel?

Answer 4

I don't think you're being selfish, although I can understand his concerns having worked in a club myself many years ago.

I think you should explain to him what it means to you to work there and that it will only be temporary until you got back to your studies. Then find a compromise you can both live with to make sure he is secure that you are getting home safely; maybe you text him when you leave the club, no need to wait up then.

If its something that you really want and he really loves you then you will find a way to make it work for you both.

Answer 5

Allright, LISTEN TO ME.


These people that say you are a selfish cow are wrong. Tell your boyfriend he can come along to the gigs or whatever if he is worried about you. Ask him why he doesn't think you should do this, because it is an incredible job opportunity.

In the end, it is YOUR LIFE, not his, not any random internet persons. If you want i tthen make your own decisions, kay?

Answer 6

You are not selfish, maybe hes feeling a bit insecure that you might meet someone else? You are an adult he cant tell you what to do you aren't stupid your not going to put yourself in any dangerous situations, i think the 2 of you need to have a good talk or maybe for him to go to the club and see for himself what its like. Good luck if its a dream job take it or you will end up resenting him!!

Answer 7

i dont think your exactly selfish maybe i read this wrong but it sounds to me like u want to work at a job u enjoy and everyone should be working at a job they can enjoy and as far as your boyfriend if he dont want u to then maybe he dont want u happy its understandable that he would worry about u being out late u never know what could happen out there these days i think u should talk it over with your boyfriend more and if he really doesnt want u to work somewhere u like maybe he dont trust u like u thought and hoped for anyways good luck with getting that job (if u go for it)

Answer 8

I don't think you're being selfish at all, I mean, yeah he will miss you and he'll have to tuck himself into bed every night, but if you can earn money while doing something you love then do it. He's probably a wee bit worried that while you are meeting these 'like minded people' you'll stray, just assure him that you love him and you'll always return home to him.

Answer 9

Ur not being selfish
but he does have a point
he wants you to be happy but is worried about ur safty
it's a very tough 1 to call
but maybe if u found a way home other than walking
like a friend giving u a lift maybe that will help ease his mind
hope all works out for ya

Answer 10

While that may be the reason he's telling you, it may because he doesn't trust the guys who go to places like that. We've all seem them, put a little alcohol into their system and suddenly they become God's gift to women.

Sit down with him and talk this through. Maybe reach a compromise where you will work shorter hours or until there is a problem that arises.

Guys want to feel they are protecting their women, try to make him feel that way.