I am 42 years old. Recently divorced and am relocating to Georgia to start my life over again with a man who is older than me by 20 years who I have known all my life. I have dated younger men and men my age. They are useless jerks. They have no respect for women, they degrade them and seem as though they want to take them down to a level of nothing. They were all black. I try not to generalize but when you are angry and you feel as though you are being hurt you lash out. Black men make me very angry at times I nothing but extreme hate for them. My first husband who is deceased was white and my second one was hispanic. This man now is black. But he is kind he doesn't inflict pain and unkind words. I do feel as though I am affected by the way the average black male acts. Is it so hard for them to show love and kindness. It seems as though they are more tender witht he rims on their cars than the women in there lives. Is there a reason some women only attract to older men?
2007-03-26 09:48:08 · 24 answers · asked by kimberly s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is nothing wrong with being attracted to an older man. I myself have always been attracted to older men for various reasons. They are more mature than men my age, they have more realistic goals in life, they're grown and know exactly what they're going after in life, they're more set on their careers, older men are a lot better looking and are more experienced, etc. Need I say more?
2007-03-26 09:52:53 · answer #1 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question: "younger men... are useless jerks...They have no respect for women...." etc.
But for some reason you switch gears and start generalizing black men ("the way the average black male asks"). You mean there are no white or hispanic men who hate to show love and kindness and care more about their cars? You gotta be kidding me....
Men are individuals. Some are kind. Some are not. You're the one picking them, so maybe take a look at yourself and what sort of things YOU value.
2007-03-26 09:53:28 · answer #2 · answered by bodinibold 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi
Most older men have it together they have been around the block more than once and are well seasoned when it comes to what they want . I say as long as he makes you happy go for it .
As far as black men are concerned you can't say you hate all black men because not all of them are alike . Only the ones that you have dealt with and I can understand your dislike in them but not all men are bad .
Good luck
C
2007-03-26 09:56:57 · answer #3 · answered by Constance M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a daddy complex. You were likely either very close to your dad and are trying to replace him or you never had an ample father figure and forever will be trying to find one.
I find your comments about your hatred for blacks to be alarming, and they may be linked to a psychosis that your father or absence of one inflicted on you. I would explore those feelings and see if there is any connection that drives you so passionately into the arms of older men.
Good luck.
2007-03-26 09:51:33 · answer #4 · answered by LaNell the Relationship Expert 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find myself being attracted to older men too, but not men in their 40's+. I am 19, by the way and I only find some older men attractive.
I just think men age better, and some look good when they get older. Younger men are just very immature and act like little boys.
2007-03-26 09:51:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes or No?
Your dad was not around or emotionally unavailable to you when you were younger.
You seek out relationships with older men because you want your dad.
You began seeking out more wild relationships with exotic people to get back at him- realizing that you cant get him.
You feel that you deserve the abuse. You took a lot of verbal abuse and neglect. As a matter of fact, you dont feel jazzed without at least a little of it. You dont like "nice guys" who would respect you and thats why.
I know someone just like you but she is 22.
2007-03-26 10:09:58 · answer #6 · answered by Traveler001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same situation, I am 40 and she is 19. We started off as friends 6 months ago, and now things are getting complicated, not sure if there is a fine line between friends and more now.
2007-03-26 09:53:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to know about why you are attracted to older men but the you can into this song and dance about race. You sound like you could use some therapy to find out what your problem is...
Good luck.
2007-03-26 09:52:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im in the same situation, getting divorced in love with someone 20 yrs older,. I dont know cause my boyfriend is 48, and I like him Cuz I think all the guys my age are jerks, and you think the guys your age are jerks and my boyfriends close to your age, so who knows???
2007-03-26 09:56:15 · answer #9 · answered by James 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These women simply crave security and protection, something an older man can provide with older age and life experience.
2007-03-26 09:53:37 · answer #10 · answered by fanny gardener 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋