There is this geeky guy that I have everything in common with and I'm pretty sure he likes me and I like him too...just one problem..I'm not really attracted to him physically. I'm not nearly as nerdy as him, but he is the nicest guy ever and smart and I love talking to him...but i'm just not feeling it..he's a runner, really skinny, and has bad posture, and glasses. I feel so shallow, but really i'm not -- I want to date him..I really like him, but I can't ever visualize anything physical between us. He mentioned he's starting to lift weights..but how can i change the way I feel?
also, I'm afraid some of my friends will think he is just "too nerdy looking" for me or something :(
2007-03-26 09:16:55 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Not that I don't think that my boyfriend is cute, but in the beginning I really couldn't imagining much happening between us. However, I really liked his personality. We've been going out almost 11 months now. He grew up a bit, and he's gotten a bit more attractive xD. Also his look sort of grew on me.
If you really like this guy, you'll soon learn that looks don't mean much, and you'll learn to love everything that makes him...him.
Also, don't worry about what anyone else thinks. This is about you, not them.
2007-03-26 09:22:19 · answer #1 · answered by :) 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
IF you don't feel anything for him physically, why are you dating him. Can't you guys just be friends who hang out? Most people don't start off magically physically attracted to their partners and actually become more attracted by things they enjoy personality wise. The biggest complaint of women dating every where is he's beautiful, but dumb as a brick. And guys end up with the same problem with really beautiful women. It's alright to date someone for a while based solely on physical attraction, but it doesn't take you far, so give this guy a chance by getting to know him better and being friends. It's not like you need to decide today or something.
2007-03-26 09:23:45 · answer #2 · answered by espressoaddict22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
K, first of all, who cares what your friends think? YOU'RE the one who would go out with him! And second, if he seems really nice, why not give it a shot? Sometimes when you really get to know a person, you begin to see the beauty shine through, you know? Obviously you're attracted to him emotionally, and that's a start. You don't mention how old you are, but I'll let you in on something. As men grow older, they tend to "fill out" some more. I know this 'cause my bf was super skinny in highschool (I never knew him in highschool, but he's shown me pictures. There are some that I couldn't even see him in!). He's a runner too, so that makes him skinnier than your average man. However, he is the sweetest guy I've ever met, and I wouldn't trade him for anything! He's 27 now, and he's filled out nicely. He's still thinner than the average guy, but that's OK, because he's such a nice guy and his "hotness" shines through! So I would give this guy a chance. You never know unless you tried, right?
2007-03-26 09:24:41 · answer #3 · answered by chicyuna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot change the way you feel. But I will say this, sometimes people grow on you. I know a lot of the guys I dated were not physically my type, but their personality won me over. I can't lie and say looks aren't important, but personality is more important to me. Go out with him on a few dates and see how the chemistry is. Don't force yourself to feel anything but keep an open mind as well. If you find you aren't attracted to him by the 2nd or 3rd date, don't waste his time and tell him you would just like to be friends. Good luck!
2007-03-26 09:24:03 · answer #4 · answered by Skye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel bad for him somewhat? I don't know if this is really love. This might be a close friendship between two people. When you're really in love with someone, you don't care about what other people think. You see him as the person he is and you like him, even if he's nerdy looking.
You really need to think about your emotions here. Do you think that no other guy would like you? I would say, don't date him because you're just going to hurt him in the long run, especially if you think he's nerdy. You're putting in your mind a difference between him and you.
2007-03-26 09:23:17 · answer #5 · answered by love 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the end, it's not going to matter whether or not you are physically attracted to someone...it matters that you love them, love to be with them, and are treated with respect and love. He sounds like a nice guy, and it's not what is on the inside that counts anyway. I wasn't really "physically" attracted to my bf at first either; I hadn't known him but for a couple months before we started being bf & gf, and he was my first boyfriend. Sure, I thought he was cute and everything, but I just couldn't picture myself kissing him.... That was until I got to know him a lot better. Then I really wanted to and we did. Just give the guy a chance. It doesn't matter what your friends or anyone else thinks; it only matters what the two of you think.
2007-03-26 09:24:23 · answer #6 · answered by Faith P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what happens to geeks?
They grow up to be rich...sometimes famous.
Geeks can turn into beautiful people (physically.)
It seems like you don't know how to appreciate the nice guy, and you worry too much about what your friends think.
One day, he is going to GROW OUT of his "akward" stage and have a lot of girls around him, and THEN you are going to want him and guess what? TOO LATE!
You must not be familiar with the Ugly Duckling story.
But that's besides the point. The point is, when you get older, looks don't matter as much.
What we all want is someone who can love us and be sincere with us and be true to us.
When you get old, and become an old wrinkly lady, looks are going to be long gone.
What makes you think you are pretty to him?
Get over it and go FOR it!
2007-03-26 09:27:01 · answer #7 · answered by elidet_reyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By all means keep it platonic... just don't string the poor guy along. If he's at your heels like a puppy then please be honest and forthright with him.
Yes, it's going to hurt his feelings, but it'll be better in the long run if he's not operating under an (incorrect) assumption - like assuming he has a chance.
If the two of you can over that and still be friends, then who knows? There's nothing wrong with a platonic friendship, and after a while you might change your mind about him.
2007-03-26 09:24:36 · answer #8 · answered by Aaron W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off NEVER go off what your friends say about looks.
You have to follow what your heart and gut are telling you.
He's great, nice, caring, funny, ext..... BUT you don't find him attractive.
Have you EVER and I'm talking even once pictured yourself kissing him?
Some might agree others might not, but if you're not attracted to a guy, then don't bother with it, and just keep him as a friend. EVERY relationship has to have a physical attraction. If you don't have one, then you don't have a relationship.
You don't learn to fall in love, you just love.
2007-03-26 09:23:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel, I felt the same way about a friend of mine. Nothing ever happened but he is the best friend I could ever have. But it could have happened just other things were in the way, if one of us was single the other was not. If you think you guys could get over the physical thing I would say go for it.
2007-03-26 09:22:38 · answer #10 · answered by kaypiccolo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋