ok people, now this is a very personal and sensative subject for me. so please not sarcastic or negative responses. thank you. my son was born with gastroscissis.doctor said it was a fluke thing, happens 1 out of a 100 kids.. a portion of his small bowel was on the outside.we did ultra-sounds every 2 weeks to make sure there was blood flow.(some how within the last, had to have been couple weeks.) the bowel twisted and died.so he needed a transplant.i transfered him to fairview. witch is the best specialized transplanting hospital of the state. when he was 10 months and 21bls. i donated 1/4 of my liver and a portian of my small bowel.he was in surgery for 14hrs, me 12.we were both doing very well in the begining.and he stared having complications. three months later the main vain in his liver clotted off, and there was nothing they could do.its been a yr.i still constantly think about him all the time, and cry all the time.looking at his pic's, video,&toys.i tried so hard to save him
2007-03-26 09:15:34 · 9 answers · asked by Tammie Tempesta 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Damn that's rough.
You have survivor guilt. It's very common in something like this. You feel like "I even have him some of my self!"
You think perhaps there was more you could give. You think perhaps, what if he had half my liver, etc.
But it is what it is. You loved him, you tried to save him, he died. It is not fair, but there is only the fairness in the world that you make of it, and this was out of your hands to control. You will need spiritual help with this.
I am not saying God, nor any of that "God has a mysterious plan." I am saying your spirit is drained from this, from your inability to face his death.
It seriously sounds like you are stuck in the mourning process.
You are having a hard time with your anger towards him. You perhaps feel angry inside that even though you gave part of your organs, risking your own survival, he died anyway, betraying you.
Perhaps. I know from what you are saying, that's where I would be. Seek a professional counselor, seriously.
2007-03-26 09:29:32 · answer #1 · answered by A Military Veteran 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is so very difficult for a parent to lose a child.My heart is with you.
In your heart you know you did everything you possibly could to save him but God had other plans for him.So now..........he is your angel looking down on you and protecting you.
Leave a picture out but for now the best idea is to put the other things away for awhile.Of course you will never forget him and will think about him often but it is not healthy for you to keep on this way.One day down the road you will be able to look at the video's and smile and cherish the memories.
You need to try and keep yourself busy and involved with everyday life.
Here in Canada we have an organization called "bereaved families." It is a wonderful organization and would truly help you a lot.Perhaps where you live you could check if you have anything such thing.There is a special chapter for people who have lost children such as you have.
You need to be involved with your faily and friends.It would be good to have a minister to speak with or perhaps even a counsellor who could help you get over your grief.
I will be thinking of you and praying for you.God Bless.
2007-03-26 09:37:41 · answer #2 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im so sorry for your loss. Im sure that loosing a child, especially that small must be very very hard. However, life goes on. You cant hold on to your dead child. I know that you will never get over it, but you need to move forward. To me, looks like, you have a depression and you need to get treated for this with medication and counselling. good luck
2007-03-26 09:25:54 · answer #3 · answered by boricua_chick_21 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can feel your pain. You have done everything a mom would do for her child. Perhaps, you could join some support groups where people share the same experience and help each other recover.
Good luck to you and your family.
2007-03-26 09:25:27 · answer #4 · answered by Kimora Miranda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have never had to go through something as painful as that, so i can't say i know how you feel.. i'm sure you will always think about your son and wonder what it would be like if he was still around. I think you should talk to ppl about this and get emotional support. keep his memory alive!
2007-03-26 09:26:08 · answer #5 · answered by stephanie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry for your loss,you did everything you could to save your sons life there is no greater love.it is not your fault and its time to let go. you cannot change what has happened you can remember him with love but honor him by living again he would want that.it is the right thing for you to do ,live your life and be happy again.you would want that for your son and he wants that for you.bless you and good luck.
2007-03-26 10:12:05 · answer #6 · answered by dixie58 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope your getting counceling for this. This is a very hard situation that your in and I cannot say that I understand but I do know that talking about it will help.
2007-03-26 09:21:31 · answer #7 · answered by wyattj23 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
On my. My heart goes out to you and yours. Be strong you did all you could . It's ok to think of your son and be sad. Just be strong for him. i am sure he would want you to be happy . God Bless you.
2007-03-26 10:14:13 · answer #8 · answered by aa_chat 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need grievance counselling. Try your local church or government agency
2007-03-26 09:22:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋