I have a 13 year old who has just had a huge falling out with her best friend. My daughter had a big birthday party at the weekend and her best friend stayed over from Friday to last night. Everything was fine between them, as far as we knew and as far as my daughter knew but today her best friends has turned on her saying very nasty things like I haven't liked you for ages and all you do is talk about yourself. This has come out of the bluye for my daughter as she doesn't know what she has done wrong. her best friend is also saying that my daughter ignored her at the party and left her out while she was dancing etc with other friends. However, my daughter was actually trying to include her.
I'm not saying my daughter's an angel because she's not but she's not as nasty as this girl is making her out to be.
What advise can i give her other than these things happen? She is really upset by what this girl has done and said.
2007-03-26 09:15:00 · 14 answers · asked by willowbee 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
What a horrible age 13 is! I remember it well and certainly didn't like going through it again with my daughter. I've found that too much togetherness (as in an entire weekend) is not good for friends of that age. Just let your daughter know that you care and are willing to listen, sympathize with her just don't join her trashing the other girl because they stand a good chance of making up and you'll have said some things that you might not be proud of if you do. (experience). Tell her that she knows what happened and that anyone who was there knows too. Not to worry too much about what the other girl says and if she is feeling brave to speak with the other girl and ask why she is attacking like this?
2007-03-26 09:25:13 · answer #1 · answered by PRS 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Thirteen is a rough age and girls at this age (and older) will constantly have these falling outs. In a month, they will be best friends again. I have a 14 y/o daughter and her and her best friend are constantly having arguments like this. The worst falling out she's had with a friend happened over the summer and still hasn't been resolved, but they just decided to not be friends anymore and moved on to other friends. Tell her she needs to just ignore what this other girl is saying and if they are friends again some day then great, and if not, there are many other friends out there.
2007-03-26 16:38:50 · answer #2 · answered by Angela S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my daughter is the same age and going through very similar! i have advised her to ignore these two other girls when they are nasty, to not ***** back but rise above it. she also confronted them and asked why were they turning on her as it was upsetting...when they didnt respond positively she told them to get stuffed as she was staying with her trustworthy friends! none of that was suggested by me, but i did tell her about the one or two bullying incidents and the many bitchy moments i went through.
now shes ignored them for a while and they want to be friends again.. i have told her to be friendly but be aware that they may do it again so hang out with her loyal mates too.
i'm really angry and upset for her when shes upset, but unfortuneately they do have to learn to fight their own battles and i'd only step in if her life was being made miserable.
and they will most proably be mates again next week!! girls that age can be very contrary and fickle and sometimes bitchy too! i wouldnt want to go through being a teen again!!
be there for her, acknowledge her feelings, but rather than talking much just listen, they normally come up with their own plans during the silent pondering, as much as with our suggestions!
good luck
2007-03-26 17:10:05 · answer #3 · answered by hedgewitch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will give you the hardest answer. I don't believe you should get involved, at all. teenagers have such arguments, can be pretty violent but they have to learn how to go through it by themselves. Of course you can be nice to your girl, listen to her, give her kindness and help her to cope. But if you interfere or judge, you can make it an adult stuff, while it is not.
I'm sure you'll find a way to show her you're on her side, but letting her a chance to go over this on her own. Like you said, these things happen, we can manage, this is how people grow up. Good luck to you, and to your child. By the way, she could also remember she has lots of other friends ( I'm sure )
2007-03-26 16:31:36 · answer #4 · answered by aline b 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me as though this other girl is jealous and obviously not really a true friend tell your daughter to try talking to this girl on her own and see what the problem is the other girl maybe having a bad time personally and is taking it out on your daughter if the girl still acts up then tell your daughter she is better off without her as a friend
good luck to her i hope it will all work out
2007-03-26 16:21:41 · answer #5 · answered by theoriginalbitch 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the other girl is jealous about something. The same situation happened to me when I was that age. I had a friend that was jealous that I wanted to be friends with other people too, besides her, and she didn't like it. Maybe it's the same situation here? Just let it run its course. Maybe her other friends are better friends?
2007-03-26 16:34:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would try not to get too involved i know it's hard but they will be mates again soon this girl as probably been brewing her anger all weekend and got it off her chest today.if she felt left out all weekend then there is nothing you or your daughter can do about that.girls can be bitchy at times and i would not say to many bad things about this girl to your daughter as you will only feel guilt next time she sleeps over and believe me she will.
2007-03-26 16:50:02 · answer #7 · answered by marzypan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was recently told kids have regular falling out sessions, they are always "fighting" over who they are friends with, with jealousy going on all the time, & I was told not to worry about that.
I know it's hard to witness & suffer (on the receiving end) but it will all blow over if you just concentrate your child's attention on the positive things about last week-end & the party...
2007-03-26 16:20:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its just they are both just big personallitys and they just didnt mix well together, some people just dont get on. She should just mix with her firneds that actually respect her because if frined cant respect each otehr then they arent proper frineds all relationships should be two way.
Just tell her to get on with her other friends
2007-03-26 16:26:40 · answer #9 · answered by q&a99 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tel her to tlak to the gurl and figure out what happend... maybve someone tol;d the gurl that ur daugter said soemthing that she didnt say! its all guesses until u ask the gurl tats what i would do and try to get it solved if not let her just cool off
2007-03-26 16:25:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋