ZEN FOR THOSE WHO TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY
1. SAVE THE WHALES. COLLECT THE WHOLE SET.
2. A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE IS LIKE, NIGHT.
3. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU HAVE DIFFERENT FINGERS.
4. I JUST GOT LOST IN THOUGHT. IT WASN'T FAMILIAR TERRITORY.
5. 42.7 PERCENT OF ALL STATISTICS ARE MADE UP ON THE SPOT.
6. 99 PERCENT OF LAWYERS GIVE THE REST A BAD NAME.
7. I FEEL LIKE I'M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE.
8. HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET.
9. REMEMBER, HALF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW ARE BELOW AVERAGE.
10. HE WHO LAUGHS LAST, THINKS SLOWEST.
11. DEPRESSION IS MERELY ANGER WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM.
12. THE EARLY BIRD MAY GET THE WORM, BUT THE SECOND MOUSE GETS THE CHEESE.
13. I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL.
14. SUPPORT BACTERIA. THEY'RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.
15. MONDAY IS AN AWFUL WAY TO SPEND 1/7 OF YOUR WEEK.
16. A CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS USUALLY THE SIGN OF A BAD MEMORY.
17. CHANGE IS INEVITABLE, EXCEPT FROM VENDING MACHINE S.
18. GET A NEW CAR FOR YOUR SPOUSE. IT'LL BE A GREAT TRADE!
19. PLAN TO BE SPONTANEOUS TOMORROW.
20. ALWAYS TRY TO BE MODEST, AND BE PROUD OF IT!
21. IF YOU THINK NOBODY CARES, TRY MISSING A COUPLE OF PAYMENTS.
22. HOW MANY OF YOU BELIEVE IN PSYCHO-KINESIS? RAISE MY HAND.
23. OK, SO WHAT'S THE SPEED OF DARK?
24. HOW DO YOU TELL WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF INVISIBLE INK?
25. IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL, YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY OVERLOOKED SOMETHING.
26. WHEN EVERYTHING IS COMING YOUR WAY, YOU'RE IN THE WRONG LANE.
27. HARD WORK PAYS OFF IN THE FUTURE. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW.
28. EVERYONE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. SOME JUST DO NOT HAVE FILM.
29. IF BARBIE IS SO POPULAR, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BUY HER FRIENDS?
30. HOW MUCH DEEPER WOULD THE OCEAN BE WITHOUT SPONGES?
31. EAGLES MAY SOAR, BUT WEASELS DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO JET ENGINES.
32. WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH TWICE?
33. I USED TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND BUT MY BRAINS KEPT FALLING OUT.
34. I COULDN'T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES, SO I MADE YOUR HORN LOUDER.
35. WHY DO PSYCHICS HAVE TO ASK YOU FOR YOUR NAME?
36. INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON IS A YOUNGER PERSON WONDERING WHAT
HAPPENED.
37. JUST REMEMBER - IF THE WORLD DID NOT S U C K, WE WOULD ALL FALL OFF.
38. LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND, WHICH IS WHY SOME PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT UNTIL YOU HEAR THEM SPEAK.
2007-03-26 09:02:03 · 26 answers · asked by Tink 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Hey Tink, you know me so well. Brilliant, what a sense of humour. 10/10, and have a star. x
2007-03-26 10:45:45 · answer #1 · answered by newciderman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Brilliant.
Great.
Awesome.
200/10
2007-03-26 09:09:50 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie_ is_ bomb. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i like 17 and 38
2007-03-26 09:05:03 · answer #3 · answered by acta non verba 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
39.It takes more muscles to frown than to smile, and even less to raise the middle finger!
and the speed of dark is 0. Darkness the absence of light.
2007-03-31 18:50:30 · answer #4 · answered by cowlynz 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
most of them were really funny. I LOL ed on 2,4,10,17,19,21,23,25,27,29,33,35,and 38. I've heard some of them before But I LOVE them.
2007-04-01 04:08:58 · answer #5 · answered by crazy_for_writing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your good girl all funny and a lot are true 10/10
2007-03-27 01:08:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like 3,21,23 and 24
2007-03-26 09:10:56 · answer #7 · answered by Bruce P 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i like number 5!!
2007-03-27 07:58:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can only bow to superior comedy
2007-04-01 00:48:55 · answer #9 · answered by Jim M 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
laugh out loud
wow, very very funny,
definitely LOLworthy
2007-04-01 12:31:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋