ok hes my dilemma my friend has a 4 year old boy and he hits my 3 year old daughter?

Question

what should i do let them hang out or just dont talk to them anymore i have said things to them countless times about it. and last time i said something i kinda blew up. and then he accused me of telling him how to raise his child... i said "u cant yell at him for hitting her and 2 minutes later tell him your sorry for yelling at him" last year at the kids 3rd bday party he flipped her puposely off a lil ride on bike and she split her head on a metal tool box from the back of a truck that was on the garage floor and she was bleeding preety bad... then a few weeks a go he got these nurf guns and hit her in the face with the shotgun... he punches her in the stomach and in the face??? is this normal behavior or is this something i am allowing to happen when it shouldnt be!!!! please help me!! i havent talked to him in over a month for this reason what should i do as my daughter doesnt have any other friends he age??????? i have been friends with them for 10 years.... also

yes all of you answers are right and i have told him they cant hang out together and that he needs to stop his son and i am only trying to protect my daughter and thats when we had a huge fight....

but mydaughter keeps asking me when andrew is comming over so she misses him and its hard to ignore her...

also i am not saying my kid is innocent in all this i beleive he tought her to hit and be mean.... when shes angry.... and she hits too now and i have seen great improvment in her since hes not around anymore....

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR SETTING ME STRAIGHT I THINK IM GOING TO SHOW THIS TO THEM AND SEE WHAT THEY THINK AND IF THEY DONT CHANGE THEIR WAYS THEN IM GOING TO NEED TO STOP THE KIDS FROM SEEING EACHOTHER!!!

Answer 1

Gee,what's that all about? If these fiends keep allowing their child to hurt your child, then you just have to keep them away from her.

You know,I almost corrected "fiends" to "friends" but I think it is actually rather appropriate, a Freudian slip if you will. By no means should you tell him how to raise his child, but perhaps he might like to raise his little tyke away from yours,since she tends to come away from their playdates needing stitches half the time.Uhn,uhh, that is SO not normal behavior.It is known as bullying and thuggery,and it sure don't sit good with me, either.

Next time Busta Rhymes wants to step it up to your little girl,tell him you'll chase him around the block for a few laps and let's see if it continues. If his daddy complains,tell him you're only "trying to encourage fitness and health" amongst the youngsters.

While I don't encourage fighting,you may need to teach your princess not just stand there and take it, but to give as good as she gets.Maybe the sight of his own blood may slake this child's thirst for seeing Baby Girl's blood all over the place every time they meet. It usually cures bullies when their erstwhile victims turn around and whup them good....

Answer 2

This does sound like a tough one. Kids hit and fight esp. at this age...BUT this is where disipline NEEDS to come in. This father needs to discipline him right away cause the actions will get out of hand and worse. Maybe try asking if you can discipline the boy yourself if you see this again. Remember though to check your anger and if you are too angry cause it is your daughter this is not an option. Time out is a good option, or take a toy that is very important for a certain length of time. The other key and paramount is talking to him about how he made his friend feel. And how he would feel if the samething happened to him. Help him to think about his actions. Boys tend to be more rough and crazy but it is not an excuse.
For my son (he get wild) we use a thing called self control. When I say let me see your self control he need to zip his lips and fold his hands and stand still till I give him the ok to move again (1-3 min) He is 4 yrs but we have been doing this since 2 1/2. Hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 3

Oh gosh, what a dilemma! Sounds like a horrible child. Glad he aint mine to be embarassed of. I roll my eyes at parents who let their klids get away with anything, particularly when it involves my daughter. It is the parents fault to an extent (in this case) as they are letting the kid get away with it.

If it were me, personally i tell my daughter that violence is not right in any way, but if it is to defend herself from a bully who has hurt her, she should give it them back and stand up to them.

Upsetting it happens at such an early age but when they are on their own starting nursery/school, etc bullying is the last thing they need.

Next time it happens, although it will be hard, i suggest if his parent wont tell this boy off then you do it. If the parent asks why you did that your simple answer is "my daughter comes first and if you are not going to discipline your child then i will.

Although you are doing your best for your child, perhaps the way this other child behaves makes it that he doesnt deserve to play with her. Believe me, your daughter is happy with you alone!

Answer 4

wow. this child is really out of control! Well, You can see them (I know you hate to throw away a 10 yr friendhsip) but watch them very close and as soon as he starts to do something you will have to step in right away before he has time to hurt and say NO. remove him from the situation and even put him in time out. Tell your friends you will not have him treating your child like this! But If they are going to blow up at you will just have to stay away from them. Do not allow them to treat your child like this. This is not normal or exceptable! His parents are not giving him the discipline he needs so dont let your daughter be the one to get hurt. You can go to play goups or story hour at the library, or dance class or gymnastics and hopefully meet some other kids her age and set up play dates.
Good luck and do not let this child treat your lil princess like that!!

Answer 5

Sorry, I'd stop hanging out with them. I think your daughter would be better off playing alone rather than risking life and limb playing with that kid. Why don't you look into getting your daughter into Gymboree or a daycare once or twice a week? Also, your daughter will be starting school soon and will get PLENTY of interaction there. Believe me! :) Good luck!

Answer 6

You need to tell this friend that you don't want your kids hanging out together cause he hurts your daughter. There is no reason for all that. If enough people tell him this he may figure out there is a problem with the kid.
As a parent, it is your duty to protect your child.


Good Luck!

Answer 7

Listen girl. you should file a lawsuit against him for what he did. Also about how your daughter ask`s when andrews coming back tell her she shouldnt see him since he hurt he SHE COULD HAVE GOTTEN KILLED WHEN SHE SPLIT HER HEAD. i aint yelling at you but face the music girl your daughter is geting hurt by the mintue that kid hurts her.

Answer 8

sorry but you child will have to come before your friendship with that person. she cant defend herself, that's your job. and until this person can get control of his child your child cant play with that person. and if your child needs a playmate then go to a MOPS group. (mothers of preschoolers). but how can you think being with the kid is playing, its not it's abuse. i hope this helps. also i would try to stay friends with your friend, but in a kind non judgemental way say,'i just think we have different parenting ways and sadly yours is causing your son to abuse my daughter.'

Answer 9

one your child is number one in your life, You can't let anyone hurt them. Tell your friend your sorry but your child comes first until he can control his then they can't play together. That he plays to rough for her, that if they like to rough house its fine but the kids can't do it together. If he chosen not to then your going to have to meet new people with your age bracket of kids.

Answer 10

I would NOT let her get hurt, if they were truely your friend they would not let their kid do that to your daughter. Try to find a playgroup or check into preschool for her to meet new kids. I do not believe it is normal behavior, he is mean and it will get worse if they do not stop him, it will also teach her to hurt people when she is mad.