I need help plz muslim?

Question

I was married and in an abusive relationship for 9 years. Finally it ended. I got a new life changed a lot I became Muslim I love Islam I just have a hard time with the people that say they are this and turn out not to be. I got married 4yrs ago and it’s been an abusive relationship. I want it to end but I’m not a strong person. I have some jobs but really I have been at home with my kids. Both my relationships have been with controlling of what I do one was a non muslim the other muslim so religion has nothing to do with this. My question is how can I stop this cycle. I want out of my 2nd marriage but he has made it clear that he won’t let it go easy. I don’t have job skills to survive on my own I can’t go to my family because they disowned me when I got married. My husband controls everything money how I go out and all. I want to keep my kids because he isn’t a good father.

I have called the police once but because I defended my self he said that we are both at fault and if he takes someone to jail it will be both. Then my kids would go to DHS. I have talk to some friends but they aren’t helpful because in the Arab life this is all hush hush, and all my friends are wives of his friends. I feel lost, stuck and depressed. Please give me some advice. Thank you. If you insult or say anything bad I will report you. So be kind

I ment that the religion has nothing to do with the man.
But i want answer from an Islamic veiw.


Also about getting a job how can i do that when i can't even go out of my home?

Answer 1

What does this have to do with religion?

Answer 2

Dear Muslim..I am at your service...plz wait and dont feel depressed I will answer ur question...few minutes plz.













NEW:

Ok lets see here. First of all what kind of abuse does he do??? Anyway // no kind of abuse is allowed in Islam..So if he has been abusive for 3-4 years thats enough. Now lets see what can be done.. You dont know how to cook even?? Where do u live? Is it possible that u get a job at a safe place as a cook..like someones place..I see u are having a hard time and My GOD I hope Allah subhanawatAllah is pleased with u since u still love Islam by Allahs grace and u see since it was ur assosiation with God that made ur parents disown u Allah will inshAllah help u since u did it for his sake.. I will inshAllah mek loads of DUA for u and in the mean time try earning some money behind ur husbands back like by sowing clothes of neighbours and then u could open a small account in the bank or pay in cash to an online course like embroidry or some other skill like learning simple WEB SITE DESIGNING...infact website designing is so so simple and its available for free!! I u need any help contact me ok! Im a Bachelors in Information Technology! and then work online for many companies that pay u upto 100 dollars for 1 to 2 hours work!! se now we are getting somewhere sister.. dont get depressed...inshAllah a solution is coming forward! while ur hubs at work u can earn money. While u do anyonline JOB u can also ask the employers that you need a certificate for all the time u work. Then when u get enough money and a 6month to a years experience and u have a certificate in hand u can go and ask any place to help u find a job like a newspaper agency or go directly to a firm that does computer operation...u type well honey...
So first u need a rope to hold onto before u leave and say good bye to ur husband. Make sure u find a job..some cash and an apartment or a room in a safe environment before u leave ur husband and keep all this secret and only reveal it on the last day when u leave. If possible also talk to police department on phone about custody of children and also free education incase ur husband is abusive ..which ofcourse applies to u.

Ok , now u have to contact me and feed back me at what u think of my plan...Even if it is 10% possible. I will help u make a new plan. I can help u inshAllah! Help me help u..

GOD BLESS YOU.

OK MORE:


If u are in an arab state...maybe the mutawwa will be the best person to contact of the imam of a mosque..he will surely keep ur situation a secret aswell. In Saudia Arabia the mutawwas would be kind hopefully.

If ur husband says stuff like the police will take both of us he is a biggest liar! Saudi Police would not let him free unless they really got all the sence into him..They would not take his ****! So maybe you need to contact police and tell them ALL about you and let them investigate.

Answer 3

OH sister, You continue to say religion has nothing to do with this but you know for one being with the non-muslim was haram in the first place, I myself have dated and knew it was haram to do so I even made Du'ah that my problems in the dating situation be solved and nothing would happen or they would get worse. Of course God did not want me dating and I knew it but fooled myself into thinking it was ok that I made Du'ah about it!!! Now your relationship with the Muslim, was also terrible and it sounds to me that if he mistreated you so harshly he couldnt be very good a muslim at all! Make du'ah that you will find a way out make it with pure heart, and firm belief that anything you ask of will be granted, make all your salah withought skipping one, and try your best to live halal you will see how God will answer! Insha'allah you will find guidance in my words, for I too have been down this path.
As a revert myself I can honestly say that after your family sees how much of a better person you have become for the sake of God, they will indeed take you back , and after you have your witnesses to testify for you about the abuse, and you go to a sheikh to go on with the divorce, your family will indeed take you back, trully God does not leave his sincere followers behind!!

Answer 4

hey,
someone close to me had similar problem and i feel like i wanna spill all my heart out to u. shes been living with her husband for r 18 yrs, and she was never strng enough to divorse him until her children became old enough to convince her. what i suggest, is u go to ur sheikh, but unfortunately they can be so slow sometimes. i really understand ur situation, i feel like i wanna help.
if ur worrying too much about income, it depends where u live, in england for example, u get benefits as a single parent, in arabic countries u can go get money from awqaf, im sure allah will look after.
the islamic point of view, is obviouly, the husband is not allowed to abuse his wife. and the law is with u. if he does not wanna divorse, then u can do khulu3, its a prcess where the woman can ask the divorse from a sheikh if the man doesnt wanna issue her that divorce.
the first step is what counts he most, so first go to a womans refuge or something like that, its not as horrible as it sounds. and for one week or two, until u get the authorities to kick ur husband out.
i know, there is an emotional side to it as well, the long time u lived togetehr doesnt make it easy to let go, but trust me, its only becos u got used to this life, but whats ahead of u is far much better. if he cares about u then he should never treat u like that, and people like that never learn their lessons. im telling u, 18 yrs that person spent of their life beleiving his promises of changing.
oh there is a lot more to it, comtact me and ill promise ill try to help.
i hope everything will turn ok.

Answer 5

I'm sorry for you and not sure what to tell you......If your husband is abusive and the police do not take any action get a divorce from him. I know you said you dont have a job but try to find something that will help you survive on your own. Hope things work out :-(

Answer 6

are you living in the united states if so i may have a job ideal i was like you unskilled im not sure how the muslum postion on this but im what mohomand would call a barer of the book try telemarketing

Answer 7

assalamu alaikum sister,
im sorry to hear of your troubles,be brave sis and i hope you could go to the nearest mosque and tell them your problems,they will kindly help you
if you need to contact me,you can find me here

Answer 8

what does this have to do with religion, you say in your question it has nothing to do with it, real confused here your losing me