How do I end it?

Question

I met this great guy about a year ago. Over that year, we have had a great time together. We love each other very much ... so he moved in with me. Recently I think he is trying to push me away. He is very inconsiderate and selfish. I also found that he visited aff on the internet. I didn't confront him about it. I think I want to end this relationship, but he rented his house to someone. How can I end this with as little drama as possible?

Answer 1

I hope you are not making this decision over him going to an internet site, that's not a good reason.

Him being not so nice to you, is a great reason to leave him.

Just say things are not working out with us, I feel you are too selfish and not ready to be with me.
Tell him you need a break, that means, breaking up without saying break-up.

Answer 2

Give him a month to fix his living situation and get his tenant out. (unless you feel unsafe in which case you have every right to make him leave now.)

There is no way to avoid drama - all you can do is be thoughtful in your actions. You can't control how he reacts. Explain how you feel and be strong, If you are wishy washy or play with the idea of getting back together he will be more confused and hurt in the long run. This goes for goodbye kisses and last time sad sex. Both v. bad ideas.

Take it from someone who has been broken up with slowly over the course of months, it sucks. Treat it like a bandaid. Once you decide it is not going to be a forever thing - rip it off. The less time the pain of rejection is given, the less a part of the story of his life and your relationship, it will be.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I think that if you do love him (you said you do) and that he loves you, you owe it to him to talk to him about how you are feeling (him pushing you away). I don't know wh he visited (aff) on the internet but if this is a previous girlfriend then ask him about it. Why do you want to end the relationship? How long has he been pushing you away?

Answer 4

It sounds like you are ready to end it. Since you live with each other, there will be drama. :( But you need to communicate with him and tell him that you want to end things. Give him some time to get his stuff out if that makes you feel better. If you signed a lease together, you're in a world of hurt.

Answer 5

when you move in with a partner and share intimacy at the same level as marriage, then you are practicing as if being married. do you not want to practice the same openness and confrontations to deal with any issues you both encounter to make your relationship better? If you can master working out your difference in this pretend phase, how much better would you be when you tie the knott. moving in together is just an adult version of playing house, its the best way to figure out how to solve your issues. deal with it head on. thats the only way you will know if he is the one for you.

Answer 6

well i hate to say it but he is acting this way then he is already thinking of ways to end it to so just be straight with him and say you arent into him anymore and that you dont feel the spark with him and you feel that you want out and that he can stay on the couach till he gets his things out of the house and he can stay for two weeks at the most but you have someone else that might room with you (you can lie about this to get him out faster)

but really i am pretty sure he wants an out to so it wont be that hard guys are so easy to read

but talk to him first about how you feel and how he had been acting and dont get mad and dont be rude if that doesnt work then just end it

Answer 7

It won't be easy & don't accuse him of any wrong doing. Just tell him that you think it's time for him to leave because it doesn't seem to be working. No need to go into detail because he has to know what he has done & how he has been treating you. Don't put up with that crap from him or anyone else. If he asks you what's wrong & what did he do, tell him to pack up & go think about it. Stand firm, & where he goes to live is his problem, not yours. Be strong!

Answer 8

Tell him straight up that you can't be with someone who you can't trust to be completely honest with you, ask him if there's anything he wants to talk to you about. If he wants to end the relationship, that's his out right there. If he's all wishy-washy, then let him know that you know about the internet thing and you can't in good conscience be with him anymore. It's HIS business where he lives after that. Not your problem, girl.

Answer 9

You two are grown ups so come straight out and tell him how you feel.Ask him whats up with the feelings he is causing you to have.Maybe you know why he was unattached.Some guys like to be the boyfriend, not live in husband type.Talk it out or get him to walk it out...Don't put off what you need to do.

Answer 10

wow! you too uh? funny that I should find your post today with the same dilemma I am going through. only difference is I don't live with him. we had been seeing each other for two years now. and I too have found the same very thing that you have. only I have known about it for sometime, I just didn't want to face it I guess. cuz I didn't want to lose the love I felt with him.
but today.. I was left no choice really. I faced it with him, and he chose for me to leave and chose his on line actions over me.
so I just finished writing him my feelings and my goodbyes. I had to face the fact that I deserve to be loved by a man who can devote all of his love to me, not just some of it. I know I deserve to be loved as I loved him. loyally, faithfully, and with much respect.
I had to take a stand on it. I had to for my own dignity and self respect and self worth.
do it for yourself. and for what you deserve to have in return. when you are not fully devoted to in a serious relationship and they cheat on you with these on line women. and you continue to let it happen, then you are cheating yourself out of finding the one man who can and will be that special man your life. That s how I had to finally face it all.
it was hard, it hurts but it will only continue on hurting if I let it. and I'm not going to let him hurt me like this no more.