What's the funniest short joke you heard?

Answer 1

Guy walks into a bar...ouch!

Answer 2

i have so much but go to my profile and read some more if u want:
1.Nuns where repainting their chapel. They kept getting paint on their clothes
so they decided to remove them, but agreed not to let ANYONE in until they were
done and replaced their clothing. Then they heard some one knocking and one of
them yelled, "Whooo is it?"
‘‘the blind man!'' He yelled back.
They decided since he was blind it would be all right.
They opened the door and the man said, ''Nice boobs! Where do you want the
blinds?"
2.a girl was standing talking to her friends when one of them said “why have you
got a tampon behind your ear?” and she responded “s***! then where did i put my
cigarette?”
3.A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day
he's driving and sees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge
to swerve and hit her -- but he can't. Later, he sees a kid skating and can't
resist hitting the kid. Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes
to a church and asks the pastor for help. So after church, the pastor invites
him to his house for lunch. They get in the car and start to drive down the
street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an
old blind man walking down the street. He swerves toward him but misses, and the
pastor says, ‘‘don’t worry. I got him with the door!''

Answer 3

This is a yo' mamma joke I made up.
It made the oppment cry and every one else laugh.I will list a few.
"Your mamma is so ugly that when she went into the bank they turned off the cameras."
OR
"Your mamma is so stupid that she sat on the T.V. to watch the couch."

OR try telling about working at fast food resturants and say what you hated about working on the drive thru.

Answer 4

Anything by Dave Chapelle

Answer 5

try these [^_^]



1

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.

"How long will this take?" she asks.

"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.

The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?"

"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

He lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again..


2

Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road
They pass each other
Woman yells out her window, "PIG!"
Man yells out his window, "*********!"
Man rounds next curve
Crashes into a huge pig in middle of road.

Thought For The Day : If only men would listen.


3

The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's
house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her
daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the
daughter-in-law
answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it
makes me
happy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home
from
work any minute."

The mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the
way
home she thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed,
showered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally
her
husband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress" she replied.

"Needs ironing." he said.

HEHE>>HAVE FUN 2 YA GUYZ READING

Answer 6

Have you heard about the Constipated Economist?

He couldn't budget, so he had to work it out with a pencil.

Answer 7

ok i have two:

what is red and green red and green?
a frog in a blender.

what does a 100 pound parakeet say when he is walking down a dark alley?
here kitty kitty kitty

Answer 8

(dollar bill held betwen chest and jaw) What's this? Christopher Reeves at a strip club.

Answer 9

what do you do if an irish man throws a granade at you?

Take the pin out and throw it back!!!

Answer 10

what is the first thing a woman does after leaving a home for battered and abused women?


THE GODD@MN DISHES IF SHE KNOWS WHATS GOOD FOR HER!!!