2007-03-26 08:20:30 · 26 answers · asked by Mike 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
"heard" sorry
2007-03-26 08:22:02 · update #1
try these....
1
Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
"How long will this take?" she asks.
"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.
The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?"
"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"
He lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again..
2
Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road
They pass each other
Woman yells out her window, "PIG!"
Man yells out his window, "*********!"
Man rounds next curve
Crashes into a huge pig in middle of road.
Thought For The Day : If only men would listen.
3
The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's
house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her
daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the
daughter-in-law
answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it
makes me
happy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home
from
work any minute."
The mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the
way
home she thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed,
showered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally
her
husband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress" she replied.
"Needs ironing." he said.
HEHE>>HAVE FUN 2 YA GUYZ READING
2007-03-28 10:37:33 · answer #1 · answered by ashanie4mhell 4 · 10⤊ 3⤋
its kinda racist! here it goes!
(a black dude tells the story)
A slave owner had 3 slaves.
the slave owner came outside and said "I can't pleasure my wife anymore so I will free the N that can satisfy her the best" In a country southern voice.
The first slave was scared, he thought the master was setting him up for a trap, but he had to do what he said. He went inside she for 15 min and she moaned a little. When he came back outside, the master said "well that ain't s**t, go back to work".
The second slave was more relieved to find it wasn't a trick, so he went inside and she moaned louder. When he came out side, the master said "well that's more like it, know lets see what you got".
The last slave wasn't scared at all, he thought at least if he doesn't go free he get to f**k a white woman. So he goes inside she moaning, screaming Ooh yes, climbing the walls and falling off the bed. Well that's why I'm the free man I am today!
well their is my favorite!
(question)what does the hand say to the face?
(answer) Slap!
you slap the sh*t out of a person and run.
2007-04-02 23:57:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
All down in the dungeon
I saw a great sight
all saddled
all bridled
all ready to fight.
silk was the saddle
bright was the bow
I told you four times
and still you don't know.
A. AWL " a sewing awl"
a sewing awl was used many years ago. People would mend their own shoes because there wasn't a shoe shop to take them to. sometimes a shoe needed to have the soul tacked . and sometimes the shoe needed mending by using the sewing awl.
2007-04-02 09:27:04 · answer #3 · answered by born again 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money make man, mama Mary make Mary marry mad man.
that is 10 m make sentence without any other words that start with any other alphabet. so funny funny! Lol.
2007-04-02 22:04:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Q:what does it mean when a man is gasping for air, moaning and calling out your name?
Ans: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
and that's a classic!
2007-04-03 07:53:45 · answer #5 · answered by Mickey mouse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(a Redneck joke)
Little 13 year old Bobby was set-tin on his front stoop w/his pappy,and asked:
Gee pa, that Peggy-Sue who lives across the road, and sits next to me in school sure is pretty, don't you think Pa?
Pa: She sure is a cute thing son.
Bobby:Well I'm gonna marry her pa!
Pa: NOW hold on son! Is she still a virgin?
Bobby: Yup, I believe she is!!
Pa: Well son,... ya see, If she ain't good enough for her own family, What makes you so sure she'll be good for ours?
2007-03-30 22:52:59 · answer #6 · answered by cowlynz 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
ok, here we go....
Jason was in college and his roomate was a girl named Jenny. He liked Jenny, and when his mom came to visit, she noticed that. she suspected them of having sex, so she decided on a plan to make sure. two days after his mom left, jenny asked jason if he had seen her family heirloom, a ladle. she didn't want to b 4ward, but she suspected his mom. jason called up his mom and said" its not like we think you did it , but its not that we think you didnt either...." (he was talkin bout the ladle) and his mom replied "well, if jenny had been sleeping in her own bed the past two days, she would've found the ladle" and hung up.
2007-04-02 16:00:40 · answer #7 · answered by lawliet416 1 · 6⤊ 0⤋
two canabals were eating a clown and one cannibal looked at the other cannibal and asked does this clown taste funny to you?
2007-04-03 05:31:38 · answer #8 · answered by tenaglassbutterflykisses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"What's the difference between a dead squirrel and a dead lawyer laying in the middle of a street?"
Answer: "There are skid marks in front of
the squirrel!"
2007-04-02 20:26:50 · answer #9 · answered by Adios 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Two girls walking down the street.
I bucked one, Tim bucked two!
2007-04-02 19:21:27 · answer #10 · answered by Bluelady... 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Did you hear about the guy who drank 8 cokes ? He burped 7-UP !
2007-03-26 13:19:42 · answer #11 · answered by The Count 7 · 8⤊ 1⤋