Muslims...?

Question

Is it allowed to say bad things about other people?? Ok I know that it isnt....I have a relative who is really hurt by some people. She talks bad about them ..So when I go meet these ppl I feel hatred towards them or cant feel connected to them and cant love them.

When I tell her(mom) out of fear of Allah and fear of disliking ppl who were mean to mom...that plz dont talk to me since it is a sin...she says I am just sharing my hurt and pain with you..Is that ligitimate in Allahs sight? or is it also back biting? Smetimes mom goes further than just sharing her pain coz satan makes her. But when I stop her sayying its a sin and worse than doing a bad deed itself she says that I dont care about her...But I do. If we dont talk she gets mad. How can I convince her in a positive way to leave this bad deed and also save myself from it.

Plz dont tell me to stop seeing my relatives who hurt her coz they are too mnay and interconnected and also my dad forces us to met them. No choice there

Ok if I dont talk to her and help her get rid of pain ..will it be bad for her to suffer inside?

Will I never be able to discuss my pain with her when I get married(hope I dont have any problems InshAllah).

Answer 1

Oh, God, I used to have this problem with my mother. She would tell me every bad thing that happened to her but in such a negative way it would bring me down. If one of us even talked to somebody she was having a spat with or didn't like, we were basically just like them and she wouldn't even contact us. That changed when I converted to Islam. She changed, as well, after a major spat. I got tired of hearing it, and finally told her "Mom, the only reason I am still talking to you and respecting you at this point is because my religion tells me it's a sin to speak badly in any way, shape, or form to you. Had it not been for Islam, you would have been cut out of my life long long ago." She and I did not speak for 6 months, and then I had my daughter. My daughter is three now, and my mother due to having now three grandchildren (two from me, one from my sister), she has worked very hard on changing her attitude. She has also gotten curious about my religion and I hand her pamphlets and have given her a Quran to answer her questions. She no longer speaks negatively of many people, unless she is REALLY angry and then she just vents it out and apologizes later on.

I know how you feel, sister. It's very difficult. But try to have patience and pray that Allah makes your burden easier, or at least grants your the determination to deal with this. Backbiting is wrong, and there is even a hadith about two women where the one who was mean to her neighbors but prayed all the time went to hell and the woman who was the nicest to her neighbors but never prayed went to heaven. Also pray Istikharah. InshaAllah, you will get an answer.

Your mother in the end is the one who gave you life through weakness upon weakness, and you were way worse than she is being right now. (I should know, my daughter is three and going through that stage). She patiently dealt with you and unconditionally loved you through tantrum after tantrum. Think about this when she is doing that, and then know in the back of your mind that this is a small price to pay for being alive and having the unconditional love of your mother.

Answer 2

Salam :) i'm a Muslim teen living in Canada. I placed on hijab alhamdullilah and it rather is for the main area general here on the grounds that i stay in a huge city with a extensive Muslim inhabitants. I do get the few ignorant comments and idiots in college nevertheless who ask stuff like "yo have been given a bomb below there hahaha". however the toughest area is being diverse out of your people. Being a Muslim, events, alcohol relationship boys wearing revealing clothing etc is haram, and on an identical time as i don't choose to do this besides, it particularly is a sprint awkward to ought to describe why i don't do it to those that evaluate it in basic terms an element of being an adolescent and its basic to them. Muslims living in Muslim international locations definitely have it much less complicated while it is composed of setting up in. And with nutrients it particularly is a sprint complicated yet I constantly attempt to verify the label if i'm not sure of the climate. yet i does not wanna be the different faith no count how confusing it gets and the way diverse i've got confidence from anybody else, i'm happy to be Muslim :)

Answer 3

I know how you feel. Some of my relatives are not so nice to my mom, and talk bad about her, resulting in my mom having hatred for them and saying some pretty mean things. We have to remeber that Allah (swt) comes first, all the time. Whenever your mom starts talking, remind her of what Allah (swt) wants from us. We should all fear Allah (swt), and I'm sure your mom does too. Also, pray for her, and ask Allah (swt) to make her stronger in faith and to keep her thoughts about others pure and clean.

I wish you the best of luck. May Allah be with you and your family. And remember Allah knows best.

Answer 4

Yes it is a sin. Just tell her that if she was talked about like that by someone else wouldn't she get hurt from such words? It is back-bitting when you are saying mean things that you wouldn't want to be said about you. So just be nice when you remind her and tell her to take the stress out by doing a hobby or sport. I hope I helped you, good luck.

Answer 5

She is telling you these things for therpy. It also prepares you for the real world it isn't always a silver lining out there.

My family is so bad that after 38 years I disowned them. I wish you much luck I am a WASP and know little of Isalam except I am told it is a bad religion.

However I woul dlike to give everyone the benefit of the doubt here and deal with each -person on a one on one relationship.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with individual Muslims or Muslim Communities, you can learn a lot from them, keep an open mind about people that are different from you and you could become the smartest person in the world.

Answer 7

I hate to say it but you sound like you have been brain washed, it is quite normal to like some people and dislike others, hate is a very strong emotion, but in your case it is based on someone Else's opinion. Personally I do not believe in a god of any kind but if I did I would not like to be in fear of it or him, surely you should get comfort from your belief`s, not stressed or afraid. you say that your Mother has Satan making her do or say things, I would say that she is just angry and is saying things for that reason. Above all be yourself and live a good clean life, if all religions taught this and not how to hate others what a better world this would be.
Think about it.
Chris.

Answer 8

In all honesty, you might want to go with your mother to an imam and have a family discussion about it with him.

Not a muslim, but I feel for you.

Answer 9

i think you should start judging the people for yourself, try not seeing them through your realtives eyes
May Allah keep you

Answer 10

Tell her not to say any names..... if she does not say any names then its not wrong...tell her to write them down,in a diary