I babysit a 5 month old who seems neglected at home. I need some good advice!?

Question

I have been babysitting a little girl since she was 5 weeks old. I don't charge her much because she is a single mom, but she still always makes partial payments and carries a balance. Also, the baby is not bathed unless I do it, she constantly has diaper rash and has had a cough/cold for months. She is obviously not held at home, and often has a skin sores on her neck from formula in the skin folds. She is at another sitter's when I don't have her, and her mom only has her overnight. I love this little girl, I have practically raised her. I do my best with what I have, but I can't take her to the doctor and such! I spoke with the mom frankly last night, and she had lots of excuses, and said she was going to try better. I don't think things are going to change, honestly. My hubby said that if protective services are called, I would be in trouble too. I want to give this young mom a chance. How can I help? What do I do?

Answer 1

I understand your concern for this little girl, and what may seem like neglectance from the outside may just be a very complicated single mum on the inside.

You need to sit her down and explain that you are worried, not just about the baby but about her too, it may just be her way of getting attention, for someone to see she has problems too. Talk these out with her and explain if she doesn't come up with a good excuse you will have no other choice but to report her, this is a 5 month old baby girl we are talking about, she can't fend for herself so you have to.

Even if she won't talk to you maybe you can get her help, someone she will talk too, find out who her friends are and find out what is going on with this woman because she doesn't seem quite right to me.

It's best to check every possibility, because as hard as it may be to grasp, this single mum may just be neglecting her child a great deal.

Answer 2

Let the mother know your concern and ask if you can help her in any way. You seem like the helpful type if you're allowing her to always carry a balance. She probably doesn't bathe the child because you've always done it. I've seen people take advantage of others like that. As far as the diaper rash, tell her to always put on cream or vaseline with each changing. She may not have been taught. You seem like you know what you're doing, so teach her. I'd do this first and if it doesn't change within a week or two, unfortunately, you're going to have to report her.

Answer 3

Call protective services. They can go in and assess the situation and determine if the mom is really negligent or if she just needs some education and assistance. They can also make sure the child receives medical care. If they determine the mother should keep custody, I believe they do follow-up visits to make sure everything is going well. If the mom really does want to change, this may be a much more effective wake-up call.

Answer 4

i have been in this same situation i used to babysit a little girl i had sat for her since she was about 8 mos old her mother never wanted her she was with other sitters and her grandparents when she wasn't with me her mother rarely paid me and that made my live in bf mad but i always told him i am afraid if i don't take she will leave her with some random person and i don't want her hurt she too would never bathe her daughter nor did she send extra cloths or anything she would say she was going to work and that she would pick her up from my house at midnight and she wouldn't be ther till noon the next day so i sat her down and told her she really needed to straighten up that my bf wasn't happy with me watching her daughter if she couldn't be responsible and pick her up on time she told me she was sorry and that it wouldn't happen again i haven't seen her since she moved out of my town i do not regret saying something to her and if i knew now what was gonna happen i would have called DCFS because now i don't know if the little girl is ok or not ~ follow your heart and instincts hope i helped you

Answer 5

You would not be in any trouble for calling protective services on this delinquent mother. You COULD get in trouble if someone less involved then you calls and then YOU and the mother and other babysitter will be all held responsible for neglect. Turn her in and if you love this baby HELP HER!

Answer 6

If the baby is not in imminent danger, give her 2 weeks. If you do not see any improvement after 2 weeks, call Social Services.

This little girl deserves better. She should not suffer because of her mother's lack of attention.

Answer 7

You're not going to get in trouble. Give the mom a week to clean up her act, if she doesn't, call. The baby needs a certain level of care and if the mom doesn't want to offer that, she coudl be adopted out to a family who DOES want to offer that.

Answer 8

you should give it a week. if its not better by then then call protective services you will not be in trouble. the child is not your you are not a legal nanny you are a babysitter. thats it. you are not responsible in this. however you should tell someone in one weeks time if things don't work out. don't tell the mother you are the one that called. or that you are going to call. she should get better on her own and not by a threat. good luck.

Answer 9

I don't think that you would be in trouble if you call CPS. I think that is the thing to do. Explain to them that you have talked to the mother and the situation hasn't resolved. I know that doctors and schools are obligated to call CPS if they suspect abuse. I would think the same would go for child care providers.

Answer 10

I don't see how on earth you would be in trouble. Sounds like he just doesn't want to be involved. If you think this child is really at risk, go ahead and call CPS. You can do it anonymously, but if you really want them to take you seriously, tell them the whole story.