Boy hitting my daughter at playgroup?

Question

I take my daughter to a playgroup once a week, today we went to one in a different town, so there were different kids. There was a boy there who was about 3 and my daughter is 2. This boy chased my daughter around the whole time and kept hitting her andtrying to knock her down, I kept telling him to take it easy and he told me to shut up. then he jumped on my daughters back and that was the last straw. His mother sat right there and watched this and said nothing!!! I ended up leaving because obviously it was no fun for my daughter because i ended up carrying her around to avoid this kid. Anyway, what would you have done??? On the way home I was furious I didn't say something to his mother but it seemed a lost cause. Would you have said something to this dummy(the mother)??

Answer 1

I would've said something to the mother as soon as her child told me to shut up. Today's issues with teens and young kids is a complete lack of respect for other people and it begins with the parents' teachings. I would have picked my child up, walked over to the mother and NICELY told her what had just occurred and that if she wanted to raise her chld that way, that was fine, but to not bring her child around other kids where he could present a physical danger. If it countinued, or if the mother seemd to not care, I would have taken it to the organizer/director of the playgroup and pushed to not allow that child to participate anymore. Parents have the right to raise their children any way they want. But that doesn't mean they have the right to have that child influencing or harming other people's children who may be trying to raise them correctly.

Answer 2

I'm usually a fan of the passive aggressive approach. I had a situation where a boy hit my son, and I yelled out "hey, no hitting!" really loud so that the mother of the hitter would hear. In that case, it worked, because she had to intervene and plus my son was sobbing so it was obvious who hit who.

I don't understand parents like the mother you describe - I've been on the other end to, where my child has been the hitter, and I've been MORTIFIED and apologized profusely and left with my kid if they couldn't behave.

I think when they're as dense as the mother you mention, you may want to say something directly to her - you can start by politely asking for some help as "her son is upsetting my daughter" type thing - that may at least help her be a little more alert! Good luck!

Answer 3

I would have tried to keep my daughter away from him first. If he insisted on following and pushing her, I would kindly ask the mom to control him. I'm not usually vocal, but after the pushing down, I would have also asked for an apology for my daughter - by her sitting there, she's grooming a physically violent child. If you really want to continue with this playgroup, since she's not telling him you can bend down and sternly say "that's a no-no."

Answer 4

I would have walked up to that little brat, picked him up and walked him over to his mother and told him he was in time out and then I would have told that mother that if she wasn't going to do a better job making sure her child wasn't terrorizing others then she needed to take her child and leave. There is no excuse for behavior such as that. He needed to be reprimanded and made to stop and have a consequence, but sadly like you said it probably wouldn't have done any good. But maybe, just maybe that mother would have gotten a little lesson in parenting. Oh, it makes me angry when parents don't make their children behave and learn basic social rules such as playing nicely with others. Take care and I hope you find a better play group! :-)

Answer 5

I would have said that we don't hit. If he kept at it, I would have told mom that I have said something once and I would hate to step on her toes and cause her to miss the opportunity to discipline her own child. If she didn't do anything, I would have walked him to his mom and said that obviously he doesn't know how to play well with other children-maybe she could discuss that with him on the way home. Likely the other mom's would have applauded your effort.

Answer 6

You bet and to the director too! I would have told them that your child wasn't even able to enjoy today nor were you due to this other childs behaviour. I would also have told the mother (who I am sure heard it anyways) and the director about him telling you to shut up and seen what the mother would have said. She obviously is going to have issues with this child in Kindergarten.....good luck and I am sorry that this happened to your little one!! :D

Answer 7

I would talk to the mother if you can do it without name calling and with compassion and understanding. It's much easier to judge parenting than it is to be helpful. If you can talk to her and be helpful to her, then yes, if you only want to blame and accuse her of poor parenting, then no. Some parents need more help in figuring out how to parent and set appropriate limits. Making her feel like a 'bad' parent will only ensure that this continues. Offering real help and ideas in an appropriate way is what would solve this problem.

Answer 8

this used to happen to my daughter all the time
i continued to go to the playgroup because this kid wasnt usually there
the second time she was there and her kid did that i said something to her and she said her son liked my daughter
so rather than fight i asked her to stop her son and she wouldnt so then i spanked his but right in front of her and she yelled at me

she got kicked out of playgroup for her sons behaviour

Answer 9

oh hells no...i would have definately said something to the mother...thats just rediculous..