I'm 23 and my sister is 15. The other day she told my 20 yr old brother that she hasn't been coming over b/c she doesn't like me. I asked her about it and she said that I'm a bad influence b/c I'm always being negative. She's gotten mad at me before and not told me about it. A couple of times I've had to confront her about things I'm told my other people she's mad about. I'm tired of playing mind games. This time, she said something that there's really no apology for if that's the way she feels. It just bothers me b/c she doesn't understand the problems I have, I'm always helping everyone and I think I'm entitled to have issues, I can't be perfect. I just don't tell her everything. Is it wrong to be upset? I know she's just 15, but she keeps talking about me behind my back and my method of "talking it out" obviously isn't working. Right now, we're just not speaking.
2007-03-26 07:01:30 · 17 answers · asked by Kristen J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She is 15, you are 23.... you get the honor of being the "grown up" here.
Some of this stuff just comes with having hormones making the kid a little out of control. She's really experimenting with her "voice" expressing herself, and testing out how she feels about the world.
Sometimes these kids are right on target with their assessment...not a bad idea to consider if there is any validity to her dislike... Maybe you can set that stuff aside when she is visiting.
Sometimes teenagers are idiots and morons (how do I know? I was one.... there is so much I look back at now and think Good grief! )
So you may not be wrong to be 'upset', just don't let it eat you up!
2007-03-26 12:48:42 · answer #1 · answered by thankyou "iana" 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you need to be less tense about stuff...
& don't expect perfection from her .
Be a friend to her, not the older sister.
Wear your feelings on your sleeve a bit more when you're with her, to let her see & know you're human, you're hurting / suffering too... so she knows you need her support.
Try to do that without focusing on your problems 1st...
Give her the attention she feels she needs 1st,
then confide a problem, & ask for her help.
If she still goes around, behaviour unchanged towards you, don't confide in her again - just sit down quietly, have a chat about other stuff, then ask her why she did that...
It's not a competition between the 2 of you!
You're sisters, looking out for each other, right?
2007-03-26 11:49:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what about your 20 year old bro, who should be telling her not to talk on your back. what about your parents ? why arent they getting involved in this ?
this is not good, i spend half my childhood away from my sister and we were studying in different cities and now we live so far away from each other, 2 parts of the world literally, i really miss her and if i was to turn the clocks, i would spend more quality time with her
listen, why dont you tell her "lets forget everything you said and did, and lets just have an evening out" just the two of you (but you really need to forget everything she said and not be bitter about it, just let it go and have an evening with your sis)
whatever she likes doing - art gallery ? ice skating ?
dont even try to talk about all these deep emotional rubbish - just spend nice quality time with her, talk about general casual things, life, work, friends, people - whatever ! just dont discuss what she has been saying and doing...
do that a few times and i am sure she will come around and understand that you are her sis at the end of the day
listen hunney, dont ruin it - you are 23 and shes 15 - you are much more mature than her - teenagers like a bit of attention like that from their siblings... try to reconcile... .
good luck
2007-03-26 07:16:57 · answer #3 · answered by GorGeous_Girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we can get so caught up in the problems in our lives that it seems, to other people anyway, that we're always moaning and groaning about this or that. They don't understand our problems and, lets be honest, they aren't really bothered because they have their own problems. Your sister may feel like she can't talk about herself and her problems because you always "go on and on" about yours. To a 15 year old girl who just wants to have fun fun fun it can get a bit tedious. Being the eldest in my family isn't easy at the best of times so i can sympathise with you. I can only suggest to you what i have done in the past and that is to give it a week or so and then go to her and tell her you're really sorry that she feels so annoyed. Tell her you miss her and love her and ask her what you can do to make up for not getting on lately. Be as calm as you can, no matter what she does or says. Then the ball is in her court, you've said your peace and can sleep better at night. You catch my drift ? It seemed to work for me. Remember that life is very hard but you don't have to be so hard on yourself. Have fun and don't get bogged down with all the crap happening around you. I vent my anger and negative emotions in the gym, not at home. its a lesson that took me a long long time to master. Good luck and best wishes
xxx
2007-03-26 07:20:39 · answer #4 · answered by j_clarke2 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry she's going through her teenage yrs. I have a 15 yr. sister and we fite to but you have to make up your family is everything. I'm pretty sure things will turn out okay. She's probably jealous of you and try to respect her in any possible way that you can. Love ur sis!!! PEACE OUT.
2007-03-26 08:08:15 · answer #5 · answered by Umeko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's being a teenager. She'll get through it! My 14 year old sister hates talking to me on the phone and always starts a fight with me (of course I contribute, too, but that's besides the point). Let her get through the phase and you will be okay. You are more mature than she is (hopefully) and she is probably really jealous of you because you get to do things she doesn't get to do yet. Tell her to get a life (but be nice about it, if that's possible).
2007-03-26 07:07:24 · answer #6 · answered by Film_babe2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's just what teens do, they are alwayz mad over something n they do talk a lot of s***. Getting mad @ her wont change a thing, your sister will grow out of this soon enough. She will never understand the problems that you experience until she does herself, adult problems were never made 4 teens n kids.
2007-03-26 07:50:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's just being difficult. thats what teens do. she wants attention and if you were the real problem, then she would have talked it out with you by now. she wont budge unless u give her some attention make her feel like ur real sisters and take her out places. but if she really doesnt wanna come then she might really have a problem with you. my suggestion is if hanging out with her doesnt work then u should ignore her and see what happens. or just talk to ur parents.
2007-03-26 21:31:27 · answer #8 · answered by shad i 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she might be a little bit jealous of you. 15 year olds are immature and this is probably how she's expressing her jealous feelings towards you. She'll come around, I'd just ignore her for a while since she doesn't want to talk to you truthfully about it. Let her come to you when she's ready.
2007-03-26 07:05:57 · answer #9 · answered by Jersey Style 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is 15, try to remember how easy it was at that age to have problems and need someone to take it out on. I think we have all been guilty of that at some point in our lives - I certainly have.
2007-03-26 20:20:13 · answer #10 · answered by Reb1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋