My husband & I do not have children as of yet. We are constantly asked by family and friends of the family "when are you all planning to start a family" or "you all need to hurry up before you get too old". It has gotten to the point where it is beginning to bother my husband. I feel the question shouldn't be asked because one never knows a person's situation (fertility issues, finances etc.) A friend of mine who is single and 28 years old was told by her aunt that she should try to have a baby because she is getting old. Her aunt told her that everyone do not get married and if she is waiting on a husband she may not have children because her eggs will be old. My friend was very upset about it but I told her not to pay her aunt any attention and what her aunt is saying is a bunch of garbage.
Ladies and gentleman, what do you say when family members and friends often ask "when are you going to have a baby" or making comments about getting pregnant soon before you get too old?
2007-03-26 06:55:20 · 18 answers · asked by Shay 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
You are right; people really should not ask that question because you just never know what another's situation is. We were married for 7 1/2 years and got that question all the time. A lot of people thought we were just waiting but in reality we had been ttc since right after we got married. It was very painful. Politely tell them to mind their own business.
2007-03-26 07:03:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like to pick something out of someones life and ask a stupid question to them.
For example, this is a little mean but you'll get the idea. My b/f and I have been together for seven years and we are having a baby. Everyone bugs us to get married, but we have are reasons for not doing it yet. Well his parents have been married and divorced a few times, so when they ask us we reply with what's the rush we have seen how well it works for you. We also reply with things like if something is not broke then don't fix it kind of thing. Lastly, we politely say, we will do things on a time table that works for us and not everyone else. We are happy and that is all that counts at the end of the day.
People are insensitive and don't know how to keep their mouths shut, so I sympathize. Don't let anyone pressure you into anything. Many woman are waiting until their late 30's now to have kids, so you have plenty of time.
Take care.
2007-03-26 07:39:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess that this situation is common among all of us at one time or another. I'd just say to them, "We'll have a baby when we feel we're ready." These days women do not get married and have babies right away like in the old days. We have more choices and more stuff to do. There are benefits to having children earlier in life, like they'll be out of school and out of your house when you're in your 40's. But there are are benefits to waiting, like you'll have more stability and money to raise a family if you wait. But, it's no ones business either way. Mom's and Dad's and other family members who are so eager for the newly married to have children should just be told that you'll have a baby when you're good and ready but you don't know when that will be. But you'll let them know when it happens.
2007-03-26 07:06:20 · answer #3 · answered by Princess of the Realm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 30 & have no children & I wish I did but at the same time I dont want it to be with just anyone or someone that theirs not mutaul feelings with either or someone who wouldnt make a good mother. You shouldnt listen to others when its right for you it will happen. Whats right for you two isnt what is right for someone else. These days most people our ages focus on establishing careers first where as in the old days people would get out of high school get married have kids & then worry about bills & money & careers but now its reversed & we've lost it seems our values.
2007-03-26 09:25:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without revealing too much, you would just tell them that you aren't ready to have children yet and you are happy with the way your life is right now. You can't really stop other people (especially your family) from making comments like that. That's just the way they are. I am in my mid 20's and single and I have the same issue. I just tell the ones that say those comments that I am happy and I'm not ready for kids. I do one day but I'm content being child-free for now.
2007-03-26 07:13:41 · answer #5 · answered by krisy_80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think comments like that are so rude and completely tacky. I've had people ask if my pG was planned or an accident-- I've been married a year and a half...and I think that's INCREDIBLY RUDE.
People just have no manners. Just blink a few times, stare at them, and ask how exactly that is any of their business. Turn it around on them and make them lookl ike the idiot.
2007-03-26 07:49:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have children so I don't get that at all, but my sister has been married for about 6 years and they have no children. My sister acts like she didn't hear them and says something like "I'm sorry were you getting into my life?" or "Are you going to have a baby for me, are you ready to do that?" It is a little snotty but it gets the point across that it is none of their business.
2007-03-26 07:01:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for the past few months and of course, everytime we go out, people always ask "Are you pregnant yet?" or "When are you going to start your family?". It is very frustrating because every month we're disappointed when I begin my period.... it's, unfortunately, a stressful time and it's too bad people don't realize that before they ask us.
2007-03-26 07:04:38 · answer #8 · answered by Tiffany P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You understand yourselves better than your friends and relatives. I understand there is pressure for you to have children, though children are a blessing from God,you need to plan for them before you bring them into the world. No parent wishes to watch his/her children suffer. Plan well for their future and go ahead and bring them forth, they will spice up your lives. But do not succumb to the pressure, do it when you are ready for you to avoid regrets later in life.
2007-03-26 07:29:35 · answer #9 · answered by Trizah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prior to having children our routine response was "We will have children when you hand over enough money and time to properly care for them." We always ended on "Our personal business is just that OUR personal business."
The hints were well taken and the question was rarely brought up again.
2007-03-26 07:06:00 · answer #10 · answered by janellekel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋