I know it sounds weird but.....both of us are far from virgins. But he told me he made his new years resolution to not have sex for the whole year. I'm not gonna lie, I need it. But I like him and want to stay with him but I'm not gonna cheat on him. Plus, it would be pretty shallow to break up with him because of that. How can I deal with his decision?
2007-03-26 06:52:21 · 52 answers · asked by Déjà Vu 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hold it!!!...this didnt sound like a 'joint' decision that BOTH of you made at the start of the year, its just his own madness seeping thru, so why should u have to obide by this insantity of his own choosing...decisions like this have equal impact on BOTH partners in a relationship, so you BOTH get equal say in the decision and the resulting consequences...if you suggest that your not feeling a real strong need to abide by this new law and your gonna take your love to town, im thinking this Monk wannabee will be back in bed in no time flat!!
2007-03-26 06:56:34 · answer #1 · answered by cindy 6 · 9⤊ 0⤋
It wouldn't be shallow to break up with a guy who won't have sex or who does not pleasure you in bed... sex is an important part of a relationship. So if you do take that road, don't let guilt overwhelm you!
This one is a toughie, you don't want to seduce him or force him to have sex because he will likely resent that later, but what if he cannot control himself and has sex with you, will he blame for being too sexy or say that you seduced him? Men are weak in that area and rarely take the blame for anything they do.
One last question before I get to my solution... why did he make this resolution!?!? Sounds so strange.
Now, a year without sexual contact could give you time to learn everything about your body. When women are in a relationship we tend to forget about pleasing ourselves and expect the men to do it for us..
Try out toys, use your hands, let him watch or tape or take pictures of things for him... maybe he might even be able to "play" without having sex.... Find out what "sex" means exactly, if he means no physical contact, no oral, or sexual intercourse.... and then work around those rules but be sure not to break them. If he tries to break the rule, you be strong and push him away so that it's not "your fault".
Or leave him and find someone who wants to please you. Best of luck.
2007-03-26 07:04:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world would he make that as his resolution?? could he be sleeping with someone else? And not want to feel bad by sleeping with you too? Sounds weird. But if you think that he is being faithful then just go get yourself a toy! youll notice you dont really need him for sex anymore.
2007-03-26 06:57:36 · answer #3 · answered by j 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well maybe he has an std from another girl he cheated on you with.. or maybe he is trying to be religious and not have sex until marriage or maybe he thinks you only want him for sex or who knows.. all you know is he realy doesnt want it and you have to deal with it.. the best way.. is watch a porno in front of him.. say cause you want to get off.. then masterbate.. he cant resist after a few times of that.. realy.. but if so.. then i guess you'll be doing that a lot... go have fun.. get some toys.. but surely when he sees the porno and that you are watching it.. that will turn him on.. so you might want to indirectly turn him on.. so that he will want it.. and also guys want a little of what they cant have.. so be sure you say your offlimits and there is nothing he can do about.. play a little cat and mouse game if you will.. good luck let me know how this works
2007-03-26 07:03:44 · answer #4 · answered by Dr.Icebreaker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you are a couple, one person does not get to make an arbitrary decision that adversely affects the other (or them both) without consulting their partner. It's selfish and detrimental to healthy relationship.
Since he made this decision without taking into consideration your feelings and desires, you now have to decide whether you really have a relationship with this person or whether you are just along for the ride. Do you want someone who is self-centered and does not treat you as an equal?
2007-03-26 06:56:37 · answer #5 · answered by kja63 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats not Shallow to break up over that, if he is not makin you happy then he is not makin you happy. Sex can be a huge problem for alot of couples, normally on the man side though! But what I think is that he is not into you anymore and is trying to figure out a way to get you to go instead of him being the a**hole.
2007-03-26 07:10:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are always on hard and most vulnerable in the middle of the night or early in the morning when they first wake up so wake him up early in the morning or in the middle of the night and get u some he cant say no then if he does then call me and I will have sex with you... oh yea and he might be gay if he tells you no in the middle of the night so watch the friends he hangs around and see if they might have a little sugar in there coffee if you know what i mean >>........
2007-03-26 07:00:42 · answer #7 · answered by Lil' K. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
More info like did you have sex before with each other? If not mabe he wants a relationship based on love rather than lust. If so its weird, just try to seduce him. After once hes broken his resolution right?
2007-03-26 06:59:13 · answer #8 · answered by osu_fanz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just take one day at a time. It is a doable situation. So just continue to get to know him as a person. So when you 2 decide to have sex it will be a wonderful experience
2007-03-26 06:56:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just deal with it. It is not often a guy makes a resolution like that and keeps it - he is to be commended!
Look to the future. If it lasts, you will one day have sex - hopefully after you are married. You will have that much more to look forward to.
Carrie
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2007-03-26 06:57:16 · answer #10 · answered by Carrie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋