I move in with my boyfriend!?

Question

I moved in with my boyfriend after five month of relationship. We agreed that this was NOT a relationship move, but a financial move, since rent is so expensive in the region where we live...We are living in a house that my boyfriend recently purchased and we agreed that I will pay 1/2 the mortgage (and he doesnt want me to pay for utilities). When I told my mom about our decision, she was upset... She feels that I should pay the very minimum (to help a little) or NOTHING at all because he is investing into a house and I am NOT. Basically, she feels that I am giving him money, which he will get back; he is my boyfriend and he should be taking care of me. I, on the other hand, just look at it as rent. Am I being foolish for paying rent to my own boyfriend?

Guys! Thank you so much for you sincere support…
I guess should mention that this was MY initiative to pay him rent. He did not force me. He did ask me to move in and suggested I pay for just utilities at first, but than he got to liking the idea that I help him with mortgage. However when I told my mom, I started doubting my decision. Maybe I should try to purchase my own home (even though not really ready) and get someone else as a roommate. Although, again, I am new to the area, I don’t have close friends here, and I am uncomfortable with idea of moving in with someone I don’t know.

Answer 1

So much for women's lib: shack up with a guy, sleep in his bed, provide a "service" AND be required to pay 1/2 of his expenses. He's getting his mortgage paid; you're living with him for "financial gain". It sounds like he's just renting YOU.

Answer 2

First of all moving in together so soon might not have been a good idea. Financial reasons or not. Did you guys cover things like what will happen if one loses their job? Is the other ok picking up the slack temporarily? If you are intimate, did you ask how each feels about kids? You may use precautions but they are not 100%. What if the boiler breaks who pays? If the roof needs fixing who pays? It's not so much about him taking care of you as it is him accepting the responsibility of things outside the spectrum of what you have already talked about. I think you paying rent at a certain amount is respectable and responsible. But get it in writing from him that this includes absolutely everything. If this was in fact a financial decision and you see it as paying rent then you SHOULD HAVE A LEASE THAT SAYS AS MUCH.

Answer 3

no..I don't see anyhting wrong with it after all you are living there and he isn't making you pay utilities and its not like you are married to the guy so he really isn't responsible to take care of you..I don't mean it to sound harsh but I think you can get what I am saying..it is probably cheaper for you this way than living on your own and all though it is his house like I said you are living there so it is no different than if you guys were paying rent..I think your mother just wnats what is best for you and she views things a little differently..it doesn't make her a bad person she just needs to let you do your thing and make your own decisions and she shouldn't get upset and bent out of shape when you do something she doesn't fully agree with.

Answer 4

I moved in with my bf. Our money goes into one account. We pay the bills outta that one account. Of course he makes more money then me, but still that's how we do it. If the move wasn't a relationship move, then you should probably find some where else to live, cause it's probably not going to work, if he just wants you there to pay half the mortgage. He could get guy roommates to do that and still take care of you living there.

Answer 5

No. That's not foolish. I'd say a little early for a move in, but in today's world...the ladies help guys with the bills. Unfortunately...they don't totally support us like they did when our parents were younger. With the cost of living as high as it is, there's really no way you can survive on one income. It's not like he's making you pay half the utilities or anything.

Answer 6

No, there is nothing wrong with him asking you to pull your own weight. Not to mention in this situation you can move out anytime you want while you would be bound to a lease if you got your own place!

Too many women think that they should be do nothing and be 100% supported financially. Good for your B/F for making sure you BOTH pull your weight!

Answer 7

no you are not foolish, you want to help out and not have a free ride. But maybe instead of splitting the mortgage, take care of some utilities instead. He should undertand... because what if the two of you dont work out and you have to move out? thats no good! so if i were you, i would just take care of utilities and food or something.

Answer 8

Well, you are afterall helping him to pay for his house. What happens when the relationship sours? Will you continue to live there with him? I think your mom is right that you shouldn't be paying half the morgage not unless you two are planning to marry or something.

Answer 9

Girl you need to get out while you can cause he saying that now but wait once you turn everything to him it over he in control.But it your business if you pay for the rent and think that it a financial relationship.Cause he just only using you.so yes you are being a fool paying the rent and he invite you there he should treat you as a guest ,not no bank.

Answer 10

NO!!! YOU BOTH NEED TO BE CONTRIBUTING TO THE HOME!! YOU BOTH LIVE THERE , YOU BOTH NEED TO PAY SOMETHING!!! AFTER A WHILE , HE WILL START COMPLAINING THAT YOU DON'T HELP WITH ANYTHING AND IT WILL JUST END UP IN A FIGHT YOU DON'T WANT!! GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!