I am 27 and a mother of 4. I live with their father who is 39 and we are not married. He recently brought a friend of his home for a get together and he has been hanging out here almost every weekend since. We are the same age and have so much in common. Sometimes we will sit up until 3 a.m. playing cards and talking and joking around. I have developed feelings for this guy! I haven't acted on any of these feelings other than flirting from afar. (He flirts back) This weekend we were alone for a few minutes and I just felt like telling him how I feel and kissing him. In the 6 years that I have been in my relationship I have never even looked at other guys with thoughts like this. It seems like I have lost all romantic feelings for the father of my children and we just don't have anything in common anymore. I am sure if it weren't for having these kids that we wouldn't be together anymore. Please give me any advice you have!
2007-03-26 06:44:00 · 9 answers · asked by flmamaof4 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You people don't have to be so rude. That is exactly what is wrong with this world. First of all I am not married and if you could read then you would have seen that was in my first sentence, second of all, all 4 of my children are from the same father and I am smart enough to know when to stop having kids. Just wanted to make that clear.
2007-03-26 07:10:16 · update #1
WELL DO YOU REALLY KNOW THIS GUY LIKE VERY WELL. YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT IT SAY IF YOU LEFT THE FATHER OF THE KIDS AND HOOK UP WITH HIS FRIEND WOULD THIS FRIEND TREAT YOUR KIDS RIGHT WILL HE TAKE ON THE RESPONSIBLITY. HOW WOULD YOUR KIDS FEEL. I THINK THE REASON YOU ARE FLIRTING WITH THIS GUY IS LIKE YOU SAY THERE IS NO COMMUNICATION BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR MAN. SIT DOWN TALK TO HIM ON HOW YOU FEEL THIS RELATIONSHIP IS GOING IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO LISTEN THEN TRY THE OTHER GUY GOOD LUCK GIRL I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU ON YOUR CHOICE
P.S FORGET ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY TO YOU THEY DON'T KNOW YOUR FEELINGS OR YOUR SITUATIONS
2007-03-26 07:43:34 · answer #1 · answered by sadv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Dear girl,
there will always be someone better looking, smarter , sexier. Always and that works on both ends. You married young, but remember the reason you did. You married (hopefully) because you were happy and done looking for better but knowing there would always be temptation. You are going to do what you want to do, but speaking from experience, married young, 3 children at 21 years old and divorced by 24. It's not easy being a single mom. If you still love your husband, make it work remembering all relationship desires go up and down and up.
I truly wish you the best.
2007-03-26 06:53:46 · answer #2 · answered by sandibum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You have to look at how you will support yourself and the kids if you leave this guy. Where will you go? Is it something you want to do on your own with 4 kids???? b/c you can't jump guy to guy. My experience is that you will end up on your own if you think this new guy will take on you and the kids. I have four kids and my best friend has 4 kids, my sis in laws each have 4 kids and that is something you can't get another guy to take on for very long. You're dreaming of something that probably won't happen. You can't cheat on your spouse. You have to be single or not single with kids . You need to not spend time with this guy anymore.
You need to have him babysit while you go out with your kids dad on a date. See what that guy's reaction will be to that!! He has no weekend single guy plans? He should, as a single man, have a life besides living yours. He should have a date when he comes over to party...or talk about a chic...not flirt with some other guys chic and break up a family (good or bad).
He'd treat you the same as he is his friend( your spouse)...cheat on you and think only of himself!!!
I know it gets boring living the same day to day stuff with a bunch of kids and a man but you will be the one who suffers. Not him. He will move on eventually.
Suffering with kids really sucks. They expect you to move on and go about your day, taking care of them but you'll neglect them b/c you'll be so depressed and upset. With kids, there's no life but theirs until they are out of the house. Stick with being bored at home and find a way to rekindle something (friendship first) with your spouse. unless you have the money to support yourself and the kids. Never count on anyone but yourself. This guy will not be there for you in the end. That's just the story from tons of moms with tons of kids who have dated tons of guys....if he's a good dad and nice hubby...just try to rekindle the friendship and romance...maybe get him new clothes and a haircut...play sex games with him...do something besides becoming a single mom of 4 with no money and no life or stability...
2007-03-26 07:11:55 · answer #3 · answered by QueenMama D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeesh that's tough.
Any idea whether the father brought this friend of his into the home for this very purpose of getting you hot and bothered?
You ought to have a heart to heart talk with the father about this (BE SUBTLE!) see where his mind is on this.
2007-03-26 07:10:10 · answer #4 · answered by onefineham 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a disgrace! Bad enough you want to cheat on your hsuband but to do his friend is just rotten! I hope he catches you, files for divorce, and get full custody of the kids leaving you only with some clothes and a gym bag!
2007-03-26 06:48:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well just dont go into temptations and proceed it any further, being with your boyfreind for 6 years and you have kids in this relationship, since you are haveing feelings for someone else other then your boyfreind you need to talk to him and express your feeling towards one another, and if the feelings are mutual you need to think of both your future and the kids, but whatever you do dont go fo the freind cause it will create more problems then its worth
2007-03-26 07:00:35 · answer #6 · answered by ashlar282 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked for it, so here's my advice:
1. Don't have any more kids;
2. Pick one and get married to him.
You are on the verge of being invited to the Jerry Springer finals - I think you need to avoid that at all costs.
2007-03-26 06:49:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you grow up and act like a "wife" and mother rather than a lovesick schoolgirl. Your flirtations and desire towards this man only serve to make you look lowly and cheap.
2007-03-26 06:49:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, since you asked: grow up. You're a mother. Think about your kids instead of getting it on with your boyfriend's friend.
2007-03-26 06:52:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋