My friend decided to physically escort her 12 year old daughter out of the mall a few weekends ago, only because her daughter refused to leave at their agreed upon time to be picked up.
It looked bad enough that people called the cops cause they thought her daughter was getting kidnapped, and on the way home the helicopters spotlighted their car and
the news channels were there and my friend got 15 mins of fame, for being a kidnapper. Then everyone figured out it was the daughters fault, but she didnt care and laughed in her moms and the cops faces, and told her mom to f off.
My friend (the mom) felt she had no other choices except to make her daughter leave. she felt if she didnt make her leave then her daughter would continue to walk all over her and just get worse.
What do you think?Did my friend make the right decision as far as physically making her leave the mall? what would you have have done in that situation, if your kid wasn't minding you and only 12 years old?
2007-03-26 06:41:58 · 20 answers · asked by badseed 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Kudos to your friend. If she lets her get away with that kind of behavior at 12, she'll have absolutely no control over her at 16.
2007-03-26 06:45:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Your friend's situation is already way out of control. Too many things have gone wrong, and been done wrong, at this point. Resolving this situation is going to take a great deal of work and professional help. The remedies that other parents could use in that situation, would not have worked (such as taking away privileges). For instance; my 13 year old daughter would have responsed instantly if I even hinted that I might take away all her electronic devices for the weekend.
Even though it turned out really bad; I think your friend was right to show her daughter that she can no longer walk all over her. Her daughter may think twice the next time. The only other good option would have been to involve the police in returning her home. That would have been just as dramatic.
Better late than never though. It seems that your friend is finally waking up to the seriousness of her situation. It will be hard for her to put her foot down now that things are already so out of control, but she has to do it. It will be ugly for awhile and many times more. She really needs to enlist the help of a professional to help resolve this. Things have gone too far to do it on her own.
Stick by your friend. She is going to need you now more than ever. Best of luck to all of you. Lisa.
2007-03-26 07:06:23 · answer #2 · answered by goawayfast 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holy cow! Sounds as if her child has a touch of O.D.D.! I think that your Friend was correct in her actions as I would have done the same- IF my child was doing the wrong thing. Was she just not wanting to leave the mall or was something else happening like shoplifting or acting poorly in a public place? I know your friend is probably embarrassed of the attention, but with all this to back her up she should seek help for her daughter. Otherwise it could be worse and your friend could be watching her child on the news for something really bad!
Tell your friend to check out ODD- it is similar to ADHD... (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) treatable with meds and counseling.
2007-03-26 06:50:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a crazy outcome, to a good plan. If the parent didn't follow through, the daughter wouldn't take her seriously. What might have been a little embarrassing in front of her friends, would mean that 'geez, I'd better be on time next time to avoid this'.
I think Mom did the right thing, it's just a shame it turned into a big ordeal. Kudos to Mom for following through. How it turned so crazy, I'm just not sure.
2007-03-26 06:47:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it might have been a little rough but I don't know. I think I would have physically removed my daughter if she was being a little butt about it. Just missing a pick up time is not a huge deal but it should be addressed. It sounds like your friend needs to take some serious action at home. Now I know it can't be too much or her daughter will act out more but taking privileges and giving more chores would happen if it was my kid.
2007-03-26 06:47:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what...I would of done the same thing and over again. Children at 12 should never disrepect their parents, even though they do but that is when you need to put your foot down about it. The mother should not feel quilty for what she did...that just would make the daughter do it again. Don't let the 12 yr old know she has the last laugh.
2007-03-26 08:47:48 · answer #6 · answered by wyattj23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your friend did the right thing and her daughter needs to be punished severely for her actions (not physically of course) I would ground her - only going to and from school, no phone, tv, computer etc. Nothing except going to school - for a while. She needs to realize that type of behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. Then after her grounding period - slowly start to give her some freedom back - and test her. If she can act responsibly then she can get more privileges back. They are privileges - not a right.
2007-03-26 06:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by charlie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to venture a guess that your friend has been letting her daughter walk all over her for far too long and this is a result of that. I don't have kids, so I honestly can't say what I would have done...but I can say my mom or dad would have done that. But then again, I don't think we would have ever gotten to that point.
2007-03-26 06:53:53 · answer #8 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend was without a doubt in my mind correct.
The inappropriate language use by this child also needs to be dealt with. To be disrespectful to your parents and other adults, there is no excuse. There are other was of communicating your disagreement without vulgarity.
I would say something has been happening a long time for this child to feel she can act and verbally assault adults in this matter. Maybe they need to seek her some professional help and family counseling. Can not hurt and may even help.
2007-03-26 06:52:53 · answer #9 · answered by Nana 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd have done the same thing and when she got the attitude with the cops right there, I'd have said where do I sign to send her to Juvie hall cause it's obvious she doesn't want to be part of my family any more. If by chance we'd made it home unnoticed, This time I would have spanked her smarty aleck behind til she couldn't sit. NO CHILD..and she is a child has the right to speak to a parent that way. EVER. okay maybe if you can prove actual abuse she could talk that way, but in a normal home. NO WAY> mom to 3 and when I say it's time to leave, or be home my kids know they better be or they lose all privileges, and get double chores.
2007-03-26 06:59:13 · answer #10 · answered by Melanie A 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
your friend did the right thing, but i tell you what she would be about 16 before she ever saw the inside of another mall again, the mom needs to keep up the tough love til the daughter gets in line, good for her, you should give her a pat on the back, she needs it and any support you can offer her, buy her a card telling her good job,
2007-03-26 06:49:18 · answer #11 · answered by melissa s 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋