Should weddings be considered a family event?

Question

How would you define the purpose of a wedding? Is it solely to celebrate the union of the bride and groom with their family and friends? Or should they also reflect the gathering of those who are close to the couple and their parents?

Should a wedding cater to bringing family first and foremost? Celebrating with those who are blood-related and important to more than just the bride and groom? Or should the guest list be restricted to only those the couple want there?

Oh, btw, this isn't a personal question. Just wondering how people feel about the occassion.

Answer 1

It is up to the bride and groom as to who they want at the wedding, keeping in mind anything they do on that day will be remembered.

If there is a family issue then discuss it with the person or persons involved before making the guest list. Maybe any hostility can be put aside in honor of the bride and groom. It is their day and everyone should honor that.

If for instance the bride doesn't like someone on the groom's guest list then she can tell him so but bear in mind out of respect for her groom she does NOT tell him to uninvite the person. Let him make the decision, but this goes both ways. He can do the same thing. So everyone has to be adult about it.

You can also have a small wedding ceremony inviting your closest family and friends then maybe have a reception that everyone attends.......(co workers, neighbors, etc).

If this is being paid for by the parents of the bride then they will have more input into the guest list than the bride might want. The bride would then have to make a decision as to how to handle this part of it. Talking to the parents and explaining any concerns goes a long way to a happy wedding.

Answer 2

Well, to me, I think the focus should be on the union of the bride and the groom. A wedding should not have to be an opportunity to catch up with your third cousins and pervy old great-uncles- that's what family reunions are for. The guest list should be limited to friends and family members who are close to the bride and groom themselves. For example, if you want your third-grade teacher there because she meant a lot to you and you still catch up regularly, then you should have her at your wedding. However, if your third-grade teacher is only on the guest list because your mom runs into her at the grocery store regularly, she should probably not make the final cut. I think a lot of the stress that comes from planning a large wedding is generated by the number of people the bride and groom may not truly want at their wedding, yet feel obligated to include. Weddings aren't cheap, after all, and I think anyone who is starting out their married life in a mountain of debt from having to feed Aunt Ida and Cousin Melvin, whom they met once before in 1987, is bound to be a little stressed out. By and large, I think extended family understands this and would be more than happy to skip the actual wedding if you provide a separate "family-only" celebration a few months down the road.

Answer 3

Apparently you're having this dilemma? At one time, whole communities turned out for a wedding to get the couple started in life. And there have been times when the celebration went on for days, after the couple had departed for their honeymoon.

A wedding is the uniting of 2 people. How you chose to celebrate that is up to you. While some choose to have a lavish wedding & big bash celebration, others chose to keep in small; while others yet, choose to do it alone in an intimate ceremony between them & God. None of them are wrong.

Sit down with your fiance & discuss how you each have envisioned your wedding day. Then decide what's important to you & what you HAVE to have to make this day your very own. Work from there.

Answer 4

I think it is an outward showing of a couple's love and commitment to each other and the way they choose to celebrate it should be personal to them.

If they have the attitude that what they are doing is their business and theirs alone, then that couple should probably elope. If they want to shout it from the roof tops that they finally have found the one and they want everyone to know it, then they should have a large event with friends, family, etc.
If family is the most important thing to the couple, then it should be a "family-centric" celebration.

It's all about the new life that you are creating together and therefore isn't going to follow some exact rule that worked for a different couple.

Answer 5

I think having those close to you is the important part even if you have friends that are closer to you then some family member and we all have them. my first wedding was mostly family even though I didn't see much of them before or even after for that fact. Now looking back at that and planning my second wedding in a few months, I chose to go with the people I see more often and spend time together so in my case its more friends then family

Answer 6

a wedding is to unite 2 people together as one. Those invited are there to celebrate that union weather it be family or firends or both. It all deals with the couple getting married. I know parents want to include their friends in wedding that you harldy know if know them at all. Need to let parents and friends know that it's YOUR wedding not theirs. The guest list should be who bride and groom want and parents need to know this. Won't be easy to tell them but it's YOUR day not theirs.

Answer 7

Well, obviously. That's why it always puzzles me when people don't want kids at their wedding, either the ceremony or reception. The purpose of the wedding is to publicly take your vows in front of family and friends as witnesses, and the reception is a big party for those witnesses, those same family and friends, to celebrate those vows you have taken, and the married life the couple is embarking upon.
I couldn't have imagined our wedding without family there - close nuclear family, and extended. It is also an occasion to take into consideration your parents - so they can invite neighbours, co-workers, and close friends of theirs - they have attended other weddings throughout the years and want to reciprocate.
Couples who elope, for example, often feel very letdown after when they realize what they have missed. Yes, they have gotten married, but they missed that closeness and specialness of having family and friends there - and often wish they would have done so.
Hope this helps somewhat....

Answer 8

It's for the bride and groom. The wedding day should be a happy day, not a stressful one. I didn't invite my sister to my wedding because she has caused a lot of havoc in my life. I want to have a beautiful day.

Answer 9

Family and friends
... we are getting angry phone calls because we said no kids. Which then makes people mad and insulted because the "family thing".... but the place is formal, open bar and has a fireplace in the center of the room. Plus it's almost $75 a head for adult or child.
So it really depends on the bride and groom.

Answer 10

A wedding is an event that brings two people together to form a new family... it also unites two pre-existing families. With this in mind I would say it IS a family event.
That said though, a family event does NOT mean you have to invite the whole family down to your 2nd cousin twice removed, nor does it mean that each member of your family should get to invite 30 people. The couple should invite the family and friends that they converse with at LEAST once per year and feel they couldnt have their wedding without.