Help! How do you balance work, marriage, and parenting?

Question

I AM SO HAPPY TO BE A MOTHER, BUT I FEEL SO TIRED AND STRESSED OUT ALL THE TIME-ALSO WORKING FULL TIME. HOW DO MOMS HAVE IT ALL WITHOUT THE SAKE OF THEIR MARRIAGES?

Answer 1

Just keep in mind that you cannot do it all. Somethings just have to wait. I have three kids, a full time job, a house and a husband. I just set my priorities and only do what I can. My house could be cleaner, I could bake more, supper could be nicer but it is all ok just the way it is. Get in a routine and only do in a day what you can do. Remember you kids are only young once! Don't be too hard on yourself and keep in mind you need time just for you once in awhile too!

Answer 2

OK-here is the thing, I don't think you can have it all. So I set my priorities. To me my child is the most important thing-everything else is second. So I changed jobs to get one with less stress, but now have worse hours so I may start looking again. I clean a few times a week quickly (vacuum, dust, and mop in 30 minutes-my son likes to help so we are still doing things together). Cooking, well when I can I do, when I can't it's fast stuff like grilled cheese and soup or pasta. My main thing is that when I am home, I am with my son. When he naps on the weekends I nap too or clean.

My marriage-well, I don't worry about it, no time too. If dad can't see that the baby is number one-then that is his problem. Dad's get time off to golf and take the motorcycle out-I can't remember the last time I had a day off to do a fun activity. Sorry but I just don't think working mom's like us can catch a break-we are expected to do it all and that isn't possible. To me you put your time and energy where it is needed. My son is growing and learning-he needs parents who can be good teachers. If that means that we don't get alone time every day or week, well that is part of the job. My hubby is old enough to see that. A toddler is not. My day starts at 6 am and ends around midnight, I am too tired to cuddle anyway!

Answer 3

Well I got 2 kids, I'm marriage, got a full time job and 25 weeks pregnant...what you should do is ask u husband to help you around the house... so when u get home u just got minimun to do, plus don't be stress on cleaning around u house or dishes or cooking, the cleanning you can do it on saturday or when u have a day off, even cooking...ask your husband to help you and other days you can just buy food.... like this u will have more time for your hubby and rest..Good luck!

Answer 4

i'm not married and i'm making it. i have a new job that i love, i work from home. i switch people from their current electric company to a new one. i love it! but i'm not tired. perhaps finding a way to work from home might eleviate some of that stress you are getting from a full time job. sometimes i wonder why do two parents have to work? either you are spending too much or owe too much. i also homeschool my three oldest children (the baby is 3) and by the end of the nite i'm tired. real tired. and yet i still have to do dishes, by hand. i have no dishwasher. but i dont beat myself up if i just dont have the strength to clean the school room, or fold laundry and just dump the kids pile of clothes on their chairs. i dont have to fold every item to be a 'good' mom. i also dont have to cook 5star meals to be a good mom. sometimes we have mac n cheese with a side salad. i guess i can get awy with that because i dont have a man to cook for. but that's how i survive.

Answer 5

I am a work at home mom so I don't have the stresses of working out of the home. My marriage is sacred. One thing that I have learned is that while my son is the center of my world he will one day be grown up and not be in my home anymore. Who will be living her is my husband. SO! :o) We make sure we're happy together. Parenting ... I only have 1 son so I don't have to worry about anything else. I sell Avon and I sell candles! I make enough money with that to not work outside of the home. Good Luck to you! Just breathe, smile, and everything will fall together! **www.happysahm.com**

Answer 6

You are not alone. I have a 14 months old, work full time and am a housewife. I stressed out myself so much that I ended up with an Ulcer and then I decided to change things. Each time I can't afford not to work and I keep on reminding myself that I work so we can provide an easier life for our daughter. Here is a sample of my schedule:

Wake up 6:30 am
Baby wakes up around 7:15
Leave for work at 7:30 (almost late every day!! LOL)
Work from 8:30 to 5:00. With an hour of lunch break. If the weather permits, I just go for a walk and grab a soup on the way back and eat at my desk. Some other days, I use this one hour to do some minor shopping or treat myself to a manicure (Soooooo necessary for my sanity!LOL). But seriously, some times you are amazed how much you can do in just one hour. You just need to be willing to do it.
Pick up my daughter from daycare at 6:00
Arrive home 6:15
From 6:15 to 9ish, when she goes to bed, I feed her, give her a bath, play with her, etc.
Eat dinner, watch TV and kiss goodnight around 11:30

One day per weekend is for the house chores... Laundry, Grocery Shopping. cleaning (I have a cleaning lady twice a month and do some minor cleaning in between). I either get my husband to help me or he will take care of our daughter while I run around like a headless chicken. The other day in the weekend will be family day. Again, if ther weather is nice, we will go out. If not, we spend some quality time.

As for the cooking, I have learned that the food will cook by itself and it doesn't need me to stand at the stove, watching it! I will prepare 2,3 simple meals on weekends when I am doing other things and just warm them up during the week. We also have Breakfast for Dinner nights when we eat PBJ Sandwich or Ommlette (if we want to get fancy!)

Set up spme rules for your self. Like the laundry will get done ONLY on Saturdays. Prepare a TO DO list and get your significant other to help as much as he can.

Get cozy with your husband when the kids go to bed. Talk with him or watch your favorite show and don't worry about "Spicing things up". I do know how exhausted you can be. Just cuddle and have fun and the miracle will eventually happen!

Answer 7

I know how you feel. It is hard to go to work and miss your child(ren) all day then come home and clean and cook and be a wife. For my household we do it this way: If I work in the morning my husband will clean the house and get the kids ready for school. He (yes HE) will start supper too. Then when I come home, I'll do the little things like fold laundry while talking to my kids or give baths, ect. Then when the kids go to bed, you and hubby (or boyfriend) get to have alone time for movies or whatever you desire. It works but it took a while to get used to.

Answer 8

They don't. A lot of moms look like they are handling everything just fine from the outside, but you'd be surprised how stressed they are everyday.
I chose not to work in order to be a better mom and wife. It was a huge sacrifice as I loved my job and the money helped. But being at home has helped my stress level go down. And I've really learned how to budget.
Some moms don't think they can stay home for financial reasons, but you'd be surprised.
Being stressed and tired hurts you as a mom, a wife, and an employee. Something's got to give.

Answer 9

Put off all cleaning as much as possilbe. We also have a lot of hand-me downs, used baby clothes - lots, so can go awhile without doing laundry. Plus we keep our meals pretty simple, pre-made stuff even. Many also get a cleaning person - why not make a few extra bucks, spend it on that, and use the time for quality time with the kids.

Answer 10

make thinks simple on yourself.
like, i clean my house completely on the weekends, that way during the week i just clean whatever gets messy diring the day. hubby helps a lot while dealing with the kids while i'm making dinner. i don't have a washer at home, so my hubby watches the kids while i go do the laundry, that gives me some time to 'relax' without the kids.