I went out with a guy last summer, just after a break-up with someone who was probably the most aweful person I have ever met and ever will meet in my life...
Having been burnt such a short while before, I didn't really make an effort with "Patrick", let's call him. I heard from my close friends and his close friends that he was "really into me" and generally, from his actions (making me talk to his mom on the phone, anyone?), I got the general impression that he did in fact like me quite a bit.
I wanted to take it VERRRRY slowly because I didn't trust men afterwards. Then we broke up, and he was down for several months because his friends brainwashed him into thinking I treated him terribly.
Now, we're hanging out again, and I cannot stop thinking about him. His friends, although nice to me, I'm sure say many things behind my back. How do I convince him they aren't true and I didn't make an effort because I got burnt?
Can I repair the damage or is it time to move on?
Please help..
2007-03-26 06:13:01 · 7 answers · asked by Anne S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Have two of you discussed what happened between you the last time you dated? If not perhaps you should talk about it. Let him know why you were acting the way you did. The best thing is to be honest with him, talk to him about what happened to you before you dated him, then how you wanted to give him your all but you were afraid of being hurt again. Just tell him that you know it wasn’t fair to him and if the shoe was on the other foot you don’t know how you’d react but you can just imagine how bad he must’ve felt. Tell him that you feel bad for bring your past relationship into your present but you just didn’t know how to separate the two at the time. Then tell him that you’re over the past heart ach and you’ve learn to let it go. It’s not his friends you have to show that you really want to be with him, it’s him. The hell with what they think. The relationship is between the two of you. Right now the best thing for you to do it show him better than you can tell him. Actions speak louder than words. Just continue to show him how you feel and keep the lines of communication open.
2007-03-26 06:27:40 · answer #1 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time you two hang out, ask him if he ever thought you were mean or treated him badly when you were dating. Whether he says yes or no, continue on with your explanation, like "Because I just really needed you to know, if you felt I was mean to you ever, I truly didn't mean it. I was hurt in my last relationship so I have difficulty trusting people. I really like you, I just wanted to take things slowly." Then if you want to add anything you can. This is just a start and hopefully he will be open to talking about it. Keep in mind, do you want this conversation to lead to the two of you dating again, or just as an explanation for why you didn't make an effort with him? Also, it is up to him to believe either you or his friends. Hopefully your explanation will help show him that his friends don't know everything!!
Good luck.
2007-03-26 13:23:12 · answer #2 · answered by Alice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him what you've said here and i'm sure he'll understand. As for his friends, they'll have to deal with the situation if they are true friends and will accept you if things progress. If you don't take the first step you may miss out on a wonderful relationship. Good luck
2007-03-26 13:19:47 · answer #3 · answered by mamabear_45 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have anything with this guy that's worth fighting for, it should be possible to make a chance to talk to him, and tell him how you feel, why you might have seemed less than interested before, and that you want to give it another chance. Depending on how he responds, you'll be able to figure out if there's still a chance or if you need to move on.
2007-03-26 13:28:35 · answer #4 · answered by Megs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you can repair the damages. Talk to the guy. The number cause of wrecked relationships besides cheating an things of that sort are friends. this guy is not in a relationship with his friends his in a relationship with you. let him know what going on. you also have to know that every man is differently. no your not an idiot. he's only going to make a decision if you talk to him. dont let no one pace your life. pace you own life.
2007-03-26 13:20:55 · answer #5 · answered by masterdloski 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no better way to handle this than to just tell him how you feel. You'll never know how fun the diving board will be if you don't climb up the ladder.
2007-03-26 13:22:31 · answer #6 · answered by Déjà Vu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let him know
2007-03-26 13:18:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋